"You Can Be the Man of Your House".

[lfc4ever]

The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled "You Can Be the Man of Your House".

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen. "From now on, you need to know that I'm the man of this house and my word is law!

You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want. After that, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"



The wife replied, "The f***ing funeral director would be my guess."

[lfc4ever]

An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached
the desk, the receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor
for today?"

"There's something wrong with my penis," he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a
crowded office and say things like that."

"Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.

The receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in
this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with
your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with the doctor
in private."

The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.

The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"

"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.

The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her
advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?"

"I can't piss out of it," the man replied.

[Mumsafan]

The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled "You Can Be the Man of Your House".

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen. "From now on, you need to know that I'm the man of this house and my word is law!

You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want. After that, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"



The wife replied, "The f***ing funeral director would be my guess."

[StevieGnR]

The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled "You Can Be the Man of Your House".

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen. "From now on, you need to know that I'm the man of this house and my word is law!

You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want. After that, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"



The wife replied, "The f***ing funeral director would be my guess."

[Maestro]

both good!!