Paul "the ****" merson and others comments

[Subby]

Jeff Stelling: "Don't sit on the fence, Paul, what chance do you think Liverpool have got of getting through?"
Paul Merson: "I think it's 50-50."

Before Marseille-Liverpool game.
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"I'm not saying we shouldn't have a foreign manager, but I think he should definitely be English."

More words of wisdom from Merson.
----------------

They deserved to win today, but they didn't deserve to score."

Garth Crooks on Spurs-Man City.
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Marseille needed to score first, and that never looked likely once Liverpool had taken the lead."

David Pleat during the Marseille-Liverpool game.

[The Erectile Banana]

Here's a few Andy Gray classics:

https://www.dangerhere.com

Andy Gray
Pioneer of the PACE scale
.................................................. ...........................



One of the game’s true innovators. Some point to Andy’s role alongside Martin Tyler and Richard Keys in the creation of The Greatest League in the World as his finest hour. Along the way to this achievement, he has pulled off some admirable feats of bluster.

But this is as nothing compared to the extraordinary work he has done in the research and development of the PACE (Pace Awareness, Calibration and Evaluation) scale, a complex measurement system now used by all commentators to assess the speed of a frontman with a little bit of what Big Ron might call "turbo" at his disposal.
As far as Andy is concerned, the PACE scale operates, in reverse order of paciness, something like this:


8. Tell you what, Martin, the little number seven has a bit of pace.


7. Watch the Norwegian fella. He’s big, brave, and pacy.


6. They might put do a double-banking job on the left winger. He has got bags of pace.


5. Heh, heh, heh, Richard. There’s no substitute for lightning pace.


4. If you stand off this fella, he’ll kill you. Unbelievable pace.


3. If this fella can get it out of his feet, he has got frightening pace.


2. What an out ball he gives them. This guy has got pace to burn.


1. You just can’t legislate for genuine pace.




THE GRAY GUFFBANK


"That's bread and butter straight down the goalkeeper's throat."


"I watched the game and I saw an awful lot of it."


"It's what I call one of those 'indefensible ones' - you can't defend against them."


'The one thing that tackle wasn't was high and dangerous"


"For my money, Duff servicing people from the left with his balls in there, is the best option."


"People say footballers have terrible taste in music but I would dispute that. In the car at the moment I've got The Corrs, Cher, Phil Collins, Shania Twain and Rod Stewart."


"When he beats it away, he beats it away, it doesn't just drop in front of him."

[captainfog]

Merson is a moron. FACT.

It amazes me he is a pundit......the man can't string sentences together.

[Nic83]

Jeff Stelling: "Don't sit on the fence, Paul, what chance do you think Liverpool have got of getting through?"
Paul Merson: "I think it's 50-50." Hold on, I blame Jeff Stelling here. you can't tell someone to not sit on the fence and then ask them "What chance". If you tell some one not to sit on the fence, you say choose one or the other.:handshake:

Before Marseille-Liverpool game.
---------------

"I'm not saying we shouldn't have a foreign manager, but I think he should definitely be English."

Hahahahahahahahah

More words of wisdom from Merson.
----------------

They deserved to win today, but they didn't deserve to score."

Garth Crooks on Spurs-Man City.

Hahahahhahahah
------------------

Marseille needed to score first, and that never looked likely once Liverpool had taken the lead."

David Pleat during the Marseille-Liverpool game.

Hahahahahahahahahah

[wiw]

Here's a few Andy Gray classics:




"For my money, Duff servicing people from the left with his balls in there, is the best option."


"People say footballers have terrible taste in music but I would dispute that. In the car at the moment I've got The Corrs, Cher, Phil Collins, Shania Twain and Rod Stewart."


"When he beats it away, he beats it away, it doesn't just drop in front of him."

****in 'ell after havin a little smile at the others those last 3 just killed me

[Red Chilli]

The legend that is Sir Bobby Robson

"Eighteen months ago they [Sweden] were arguably one of the best three teams in Europe, and that would include Germany, Holland, Russia and anybody else if you like"

"We're taking 22 players to Italy, sorry, to Spain... where are we, Jim?"
-On whether Paul Gascoigne should have gone to the 1998 World Cup.

"He's very fast and if he gets a yard ahead of himself nobody will catch him"

"Sarajevo isn't Hawaii"

"The first 90 minutes are the most important"

"In a year's time, he's a year older"

"Some of the goals were good, some of the goals were sceptical"

"Anything from 1-0 to 2-0 would be a nice result"

"Home advantage gives you an advantage"

"The margin is very marginal"

"Well, we got nine and you can't score more than that"

"If you're a painter, you don't get rich until you're dead. The same happens with managers. You're never appreciated until you're gone, and then people say: 'Oh, he was OK'. Just like Picasso"

"What can I say about Peter Shilton? Peter Shilton is Peter Shilton, and he has been Peter Shilton since the year dot"

"Daft as a brush"
- On Paul Gascoigne.

"When he was dribbling, he used to go through a minefield with his arm, a bit like you go through a supermarket"
- On Paul Gascoigne.


"The little lad jumped like a salmon and tackled like a ferret"
- On Paul Parker at the at the 1990 World Cup.

"They can't be monks - we don't want them to be monks, we want them to be football players because a monk doesn't play football at this level"
- On Newcastle's disciplinary problems.

"If we invite any player up to the Quayside to see the girls and then up to our magnificent stadium, we will be able to persuade any player to sign"

"I'm not going to look beyond the semi-final - but I would love to lead Newcastle out at the final"

"There will be a game where somebody scores more than Brazil and that might be the game that they lose"

"Denis Law once kicked me at Wembley in front of the Queen in an international. I mean, no man is entitled to do that, really"

"Hitler didn't tell us when he was going to send over those doodlebugs, did he?" - On why he was refusing to name his England team before a World Cup qualifer against Sweden in 1989"

"We didn't underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought"

"Look at those olive trees. They're two hundred years old - from before the time of Christ!"

"I played cricket for my local village. It was 40 overs per side, and the team that had the most runs won. It was that sort of football"

"Players never know why they are taken off or substituted - until they become managers"

"They're two points behind us, so we're neck and neck"

"I'd say he's the best in Europe, if you put me on the fence"

"Tottenham have impressed me: they haven't thrown in the towel even though they have been under the gun"

"If we start counting our chickens before they hatch, they won't lay any eggs in the basket"

"I would have given my right arm to be a pianist"

"I do want to play the short ball and I do want to play the long ball. I think long and short balls is what football is all about"

"Their football was exceptionally good - and they played some good football"

"We used to have Shaka Hislop on our books but I've never heard of Shakira. Is she a singer?"
- On learning that Shakira was staying in the same Barcelona hotel as his players in November.

"For a player to ask for a transfer has opened everybody's eyebrows"

And of course there's the legendary interview with Shola Ameobi:

Reporter to Newcastle's Shola Ameobi: 'Do you have a nickname?'

Ameobi: 'No, not really'

Reporter: 'So what does Bobby Robson call you?'

Ameobi: 'Carl Cort.'

[spud_gun]

The legend that is Sir Bobby Robson



And of course there's the legendary interview with Shola Ameobi:

[ronanm]

Garth Crooks is the worst of the lot - what a tw*t :whatever:

[Owen20]

Garth Crooks is the worst of the lot - what a tw*t :whatever:

[donpisci]

That Ameobi interview is pure class!!!

[Tee]

Garth Crooks is the worst of the lot - what a tw*t :whatever:

He thinks he is so intelligent but he comes across as a total prick.

[captainfog]

Garth Crooks is the worst of the lot - what a tw*t :whatever:

He's also a wierdo who stared at my mates cock at the urinal

[ronanm]

He's also a wierdo who stared at my mates cock at the urinal

You may be cofusing him with Garth Brooks

[CJ]

isnt he a ****. the way he pauses as if everything he says is about to change the world due to its profoundness.

you just want to stand up and **** him round the head with a shovel.

total arse!

[Marky]

good craic though marsh.