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Relegation Races (to the tune of Blaydon Races)

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    Relegation Races (to the tune of Blaydon Races)

    They all went down to Villa
    Twas on the 24th of May
    Hoping God would smile on them
    Upon the Sabbath day
    Proud as punch in stripey shirts
    Cream of the Geordie nation
    Ganning along to Villa Park
    To see the relegation

    Chorus:
    Oh me lads, you should've seen them crying
    Watching the shambles on the pitch
    Premier dreams a'dying
    All the lads and lasses there
    All had gloomy faces
    Ganning doon to the Championship
    With aal of Shearer's aces

    Now way back in September
    They told a different tale
    Keegan's second coming?
    How could the buggers fail?
    But then along came Dennis Wise
    Who dared to travel norf
    Kevin didn't like the tw@t
    And quickly buggered orf!

    Oh me lads! I think they need a genie
    Owen unfit, Xisco's sh!t
    and what of Collocini?
    Given's a great keeper
    but he left the sinking ship
    And Harper will be canny good
    Doon in the Championship

    Now after Keegan scarpered
    They all cried in their beer
    But fear not, up next they got
    Good old Joe Kinnear
    He fcuking came and fcuking got
    the cnut to play their best
    Then who'd a fcuking thought it
    a cardiac arrest

    Oh me lads, the bugger’s in the Freeman
    Ashley's scared
    to watch a game
    The fans are all a steamin'
    And I will not apologise
    for nasty tasteless quips
    It'll do the buggers good to be
    doon in the championship

    With poor Joe confined to bed
    For his recuperation
    They wondered who could be the man
    To save the 'Geordie Nation'
    Who could turn this team around
    Before they turned to violence?
    Hughton got the nod and came out
    To the sound of silence

    Oh me lads! I'm ganna chuck me seat in
    The mackems beat us at their place
    And now we've had to cheatin'
    Then aal the toon went on the hoy
    And got themselves all plastered
    And raised a glass to Taylor who’s
    A cheating diving b@stard!

    Ashley looked around and saw
    the damage that they’d done
    He’d lost a couple of hundred mill
    For every game they’d won
    He sank another pint in one
    And had a revelation
    Mary Poppins is the one
    To save the Geordie Nation

    Oh me lads! The Toon are aal but dead
    Obafemi’s injured (or at least that’s what he said)
    Ah can’t believe with Alan boss,
    We haven’t got much higher
    Or is he just like Keegan
    Just another false messiah

    Oh me lads! The Toon are in the clarts
    No more trips to Anfield
    Now it’s off to foreign parts
    Tell aal the cheeky mackems
    That this story isn’t over
    Follow the Toon Army AND……
    We’ll watch Donny Rovers!
    When we hang the capitalists they will sell us the rope we use.

    #2
    The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can't ignore it, top it; if you can't top it, laugh at it; if you can't laugh at it, it's probably deserved.

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