Things that will inevitably happen during South Africa in 2010 (add your own!)

[little dave hedgehog]

- those aren't kazoos you can hear!
- a football made of socks tied together!
- they're skilful, because they grew up without shoes!
- what a shame nelson mandela didn't live to see this!
- they all have great rhythm, y'know!
- witch doctors!
- bad ju-ju!
- *grave expression* life. under. apartheid.
- face painting!
- repeated references to the number of players on both korean teams who are called kim!
- camera pans to beckenbauer in the crowd. motson "and there he is ... the kaiser ... chief"
- 1966

[little dave hedgehog]

- not the best german team we've ever seen.
- the flight of the new ball introduced for the tournament is giving keepers all sorts of problems.
- surprisingly cold.

[little dave hedgehog]

- cut to fat england fan in the stands looking worried/on the verge of tears/in shock
- rio ferdinand shaking his head and looking serious (though not quite admitting that actually that was his fault)

[Darkon]

- england goes out on penalty
- Everybody forgets about the huge social problems in south africa for 4 weeks
- Italy gets slammed after each win as a lucky team that didn't deserve it
- camera focus on hot brazilian babes in the stands!!
- Desmond Tutu declares a dance.
- Numerous references to colonial times and what a long way they have come since - said with ignorance of the highest order
- Ronaldo becomes topscorer again again.

[little dave hedgehog]

- close up of american woman in stars and stripes bikini smiling, waving and carrying on furiously as the us lose 4-0 to slovenia.

- the us to finish at least 2 games with 9 men.

- "roligans"

- us commentator wonders aloud why, with 65 minutes gone, the us has not yet used all of its subs.

[Bari]

Is it possible for Nigeria and Germany play against each other?

Can you imagine the TV graphics; For Nigeria V Germany on the top-left hand corner of the screen.

[Joe King]

Is it possible for Nigeria and Germany play against each other?

Can you imagine the TV graphics; For Nigeria V Germany on the top-left hand corner of the screen.

You should be ashamed of yourself

[Darkon]

Is it possible for Nigeria and Germany play against each other?

Can you imagine the TV graphics; For Nigeria V Germany on the top-left hand corner of the screen.

[ronanm]

Scottish flags in amongst the away support in games featuring England

[the rev leeroy brown]

Scottish flags in amongst the away support in games featuring England

hell yeh!!!

i've already got my USA strip and saltire flag!

[Jaymo]

- Germany score a penalty, with reference to "germans are good at penalties"/equivalent.

[Nick77]

Everyone will realise that South Africa is more of a 1st world country than a 3rd world country & everyone will wonder what all the fuss was about...

[kev776]

More time will be spent on the WAGS than on the team.

[Harv]

Someone will get raped/murdered

[Harv]

Every black player will be sporting cornrows