Best football commentator?

[jonesie]

Match of the Day will have its first woman commentator tomorrow, which I think is fantastic. Women have just as much rights as men and deserve equal status. She's quite fit too.

But who's the best commentator? The BBC should have pensioned off Motty when his sheepskin coat went out of fashion. Tyler on Sky has always been number 1, but is he getting too old? His commentary on the goals from our win in Barcelona are a bit strange.

Personally, I think Rob Palmer is one of the best, he should be allowed to go to actual games more often instead of just sitting in front the telly watching Spanish games.

This was good from midweek: BOOM! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2HLJPPpe2A

[thesilverfoxlfc]

Whats her name? Should be different i will look forward to it

[jonesie]

Originally Posted by thesilverfoxlfc

Whats her name? Should be different i will look forward to it

Jacqui Oatley. I think she's doing the Fulham-Blackburn game.

[maverick]

Originally Posted by jonesie23

Match of the Day will have its first woman commentator tomorrow, which I think is fantastic. Women have just as much rights as men and deserve equal status. She's quite fit too.

But who's the best commentator? The BBC should have pensioned off Motty when his sheepskin coat went out of fashion. Tyler on Sky has always been number 1, but is he getting too old? His commentary on the goals from our win in Barcelona are a bit strange.

Personally, I think Rob Palmer is one of the best, he should be allowed to go to actual games more often instead of just sitting in front the telly watching Spanish games.

This was good from midweek: BOOM! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2HLJPPpe2A

Just as long as she doesn't get distracted by a butterfly or a fluffy kitten.

[Shaggy]

Originally Posted by jonesie23

Match of the Day will have its first woman commentator tomorrow, which I think is fantastic. Women have just as much rights as men and deserve equal status. She's quite fit too.

But who's the best commentator? The BBC should have pensioned off Motty when his sheepskin coat went out of fashion. Tyler on Sky has always been number 1, but is he getting too old? His commentary on the goals from our win in Barcelona are a bit strange.

Personally, I think Rob Palmer is one of the best, he should be allowed to go to actual games more often instead of just sitting in front the telly watching Spanish games.

This was good from midweek: BOOM! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2HLJPPpe2A

Tyler's wank. I used to like him, but he's such a.....such a.....er.....crap commentator.

He always goes "YES!", allowing himself to get carried away by the occasion. Then he spoils it all by going "YES! Yes for England!".....just to make sure he doesn't upset anybody.

I love Alan Green, but I suppose if he was a Manc (and as biased as he is towards us) I'd probably hate him.

There aren't many commentators that appeal to me, in fairness.

[jonesie]

Originally Posted by ShaggyAlonso

He always goes "YES!", allowing himself to get carried away by the occasion.

Check out my sig for the ultimate example of that.

[Nic83]

My favs would still be the usual, Tyles and Gray. i quite like the Palmer - Armstrong duo myself aswell. on RTE, I enjoy Daragh Moloney's commentary, he seems very into it "Heeereees a chance oooooooooooooooooo!!!!"

Can't really think of too many that stick out off hand.

I used to like, was it Moore? on ITV.

[johnp]

Originally Posted by Nic83

My favs would still be the usual, Tyles and Gray. i quite like the Palmer - Armstrong duo myself aswell. on RTE, I enjoy Daragh Moloney's commentary, he seems very into it "Heeereees a chance oooooooooooooooooo!!!!"

Can't really think of too many that stick out off hand.

I used to like, was it Moore? on ITV.

I think George Hamilton does a great job.
Jimmy Magee, but thats only for the comic value.
Also Toshack has done some on TV3 (I think). It's great listening to him. I remember one Real Madrid game where the commentator was talking away about the game and Toshack was in the background whispering to himself:
"Now there's Zidane on the ball, whats he gonna do this time......... ohhhh lovely, that was great.... ahhhh sublime". He just kept going.

[Shaggy]

Yep, I loved Brian Moore too.

"Rush now...........AND IT'S IN THERE!"

[wavydavy]

Originally Posted by ShaggyAlonso

Yep, I loved Brian Moore too.

"Rush now...........AND IT'S IN THERE!"

I hated Brian Moore. So biased towards Arsenal .. Best IMHO have always been radio ones. Peter Jones was ace as is Alan Green. Commentators simply don't have the balls to say it as they see it. None of them have got the guts to say "He's been shite" or "How the fuck did he miss that". They always talk in euphemisms. "He'll feel he should have done better", "it hasn't been their day" etc

[jonesie]

The Welsh commentator on Match of the Day always gets excited whenever a Welsh player gets the ball.

'Gerrard, Alonso, BELLAMYYYY!!!!'

'Anelka, Diouf, and now GARY SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!'

[Shaggy]

Originally Posted by jonesie23

The Welsh commentator on Match of the Day always gets excited whenever a Welsh player gets the ball.

'Gerrard, Alonso, BELLAMYYYY!!!!'

'Anelka, Diouf, and now GARY SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!'

Haha, very true.

The worst on MOTD is currently Alistair Mann. He was at Granada until quite recently but he's now commentating on games in the north for MOTD. He is absolutely abysmal.

[maverick]

Always liked Barry Davis. Brought a bit class to the proceedings.

[Shaggy]

I don't think a commo ever split opinion like Barry Davies.

I liked him - he got genuinely excited and it always came across - but a lot of people loathed him....my old man really detested the bloke.

I'll never forget his commentary on a goal by Beardsley in a derby in the late 80s at Anfield...think it was a 2-0 win.

"Barnes......oh that's a lovely backheel....McMahon....Aldridge....BEARDSLEYYYYYYY YYYYYY! OH THAT'S A LOVELY GOAL! THAT'S A LOVELY GOAL! HE REALLY CRASHED AT THAT! OH AND HE EVEN GETS A KISS FOR IT, FROM A MAN INCIDENTALLY WEARING A BLUE AND WHITE SHIRT!"

[zimbo]

Originally Posted by ShaggyAlonso

I don't think a commo ever split opinion like Barry Davies.

I liked him - he got genuinely excited and it always came across - but a lot of people loathed him....my old man really detested the bloke.

I'll never forget his commentary on a goal by Beardsley in a derby in the late 80s at Anfield...think it was a 2-0 win.

"Barnes......oh that's a lovely backheel....McMahon....Aldridge....BEARDSLEYYYYYYY YYYYYY! OH THAT'S A LOVELY GOAL! THAT'S A LOVELY GOAL! HE REALLY CRASHED AT THAT! OH AND HE EVEN GETS A KISS FOR IT, FROM A MAN INCIDENTALLY WEARING A BLUE AND WHITE SHIRT!"

I was one of the haters, I’m afraid.
Despised the moralising pillock. He was always there with an ill-conceived or misinformed opinion, usually along the lines of “Oh, we really don’t want to see that sort of thing on a football pitch. Disgraceful!...”, when in reality it was exactly what everyone watching had been waiting for, i.e. a mass brawl, a two-footed, airborne tackle, or a buxom yet strangely athletic streaker.

Often he’d just say nothing for about 10 minutes at a time, only to come back in with a single, high-pitched yelp of a player’s name, before lapsing once more into silence. It was like he had an electrical sensor attached to his scrotum which was wired to jolt him back to life whenever his heart rate fell below 10 beats per minute.

Here’s some of the wrong-faced duffer’s finest Partridge moments:

'History is all about todays and not yesterdays.'

'When you speak to Barry Fry, it's like completing a 1000-piece jigsaw.'

'The familiar sight of Liverpool lifting the League Cup for the first time...'

'Mark Hughes : Sparky by name, Sparky by nature. The same can be said of Brian McClair.'

'I wonder if Manchester United are missing the absence of Bruce.'

'Pearce with the kick...the last throw for England.'

'...and it's just a sea of voices here at the moment.'

'And sitting on the Watford bench is Ernie Whalley's brother Tom. Both Welshmen.'

'They've flown in from all over the world, have the rest of the world team.'

'120,000 Barcelona fans go to their home games, and they're all here tonight.'

'To get three points out of your first game - that's a wonderful start.'

'Manchester United have never beaten an Italian side on two legs in European competition.'

'The winners [of the Champion's League] stand to make £10 million in prize money - that's before any money they can make on programme sales, hot dogs and the like.'

'He [Zinedine Zidane] has the body of a bear, the mind of a fox and, er, terrific skills.'

'That's the 34th time he's played for his country here tonight.'

'There are those who've had his critics...'

'He has the brain of a refrigerator.'

'Bryan Robson wears his shirt on his sleeve.'

'The whole team stopped as one man, but Arkwright in particular.'

'And now we have the formalities over, we'll have the national anthems.'

'Nicky Butt, he's another aptly named player. He joins things, brings one sentence to an end and starts another.'

'A peep, peep, peep, another peep, and that's it.' - BARRY DAVIES greets a final whistle.

'Cantona's expression saying the whole French dictionary without saying a word.'

'The Dutch look like a huge jar of marmalade.'

'The crowd think that Todd handled the ball.... they must have seen something that nobody else did.'

[Neil Young]

Originally Posted by zimbo

I was one of the haters, I’m afraid.
Despised the moralising pillock. He was always there with an ill-conceived or misinformed opinion, usually along the lines of “Oh, we really don’t want to see that sort of thing on a football pitch. Disgraceful!...”, when in reality it was exactly what everyone watching had been waiting for, i.e. a mass brawl, a two-footed, airborne tackle, or a buxom yet strangely athletic streaker.

Often he’d just say nothing for about 10 minutes at a time, only to come back in with a single, high-pitched yelp of a player’s name, before lapsing once more into silence. It was like he had an electrical sensor attached to his scrotum which was wired to jolt him back to life whenever his heart rate fell below 10 beats per minute.

Here’s some of the wrong-faced duffer’s finest Partridge moments:

'History is all about todays and not yesterdays.'

'When you speak to Barry Fry, it's like completing a 1000-piece jigsaw.'

'The familiar sight of Liverpool lifting the League Cup for the first time...'

'Mark Hughes : Sparky by name, Sparky by nature. The same can be said of Brian McClair.'

'I wonder if Manchester United are missing the absence of Bruce.'

'Pearce with the kick...the last throw for England.'

'...and it's just a sea of voices here at the moment.'

'And sitting on the Watford bench is Ernie Whalley's brother Tom. Both Welshmen.'

'They've flown in from all over the world, have the rest of the world team.'

'120,000 Barcelona fans go to their home games, and they're all here tonight.'

'To get three points out of your first game - that's a wonderful start.'

'Manchester United have never beaten an Italian side on two legs in European competition.'

'The winners [of the Champion's League] stand to make £10 million in prize money - that's before any money they can make on programme sales, hot dogs and the like.'

'He [Zinedine Zidane] has the body of a bear, the mind of a fox and, er, terrific skills.'

'That's the 34th time he's played for his country here tonight.'

'There are those who've had his critics...'

'He has the brain of a refrigerator.'

'Bryan Robson wears his shirt on his sleeve.'

'The whole team stopped as one man, but Arkwright in particular.'

'And now we have the formalities over, we'll have the national anthems.'

'Nicky Butt, he's another aptly named player. He joins things, brings one sentence to an end and starts another.'

'A peep, peep, peep, another peep, and that's it.' - BARRY DAVIES greets a final whistle.

'Cantona's expression saying the whole French dictionary without saying a word.'

'The Dutch look like a huge jar of marmalade.'

'The crowd think that Todd handled the ball.... they must have seen something that nobody else did.'

Couldn't agree more. I used to dislike Motson more when I was kid because he was all statty and boring but once I started hearing the woefully judgmental sermonising from Davies...ooh, shudder.

[zimbo]

Originally Posted by Neil Young

Couldn't agree more. I used to dislike Motson more when I was kid because he was all statty and boring but once I started hearing the woefully judgmental sermonising from Davies...ooh, shudder.

Used to quite like Motson, certainly in comparison with Davies.

Now I find it immensely unconfortable listening to him, particularly when in tandem with fellow Chuckle Brother Lawrenson. The number of times he gets his facts blatantly wrong or doesn't see something that would be screamingly obvious to Ray Charles boggles the mind:

"Well, I couldn't see anything wrong with that, could you Mark?"

"Not sure Motty, I think there may have been an offside."

"It's certainly a strange decision, as there was no obvious infringement that I could see. Sir Alex is not going to like that."

"Definite offside Motty."

"Possibly a handball in the build-up, would you say?"

"It's offside Motty."

"Well that will certainly be a talking point if the score stays like this."

"Oh, hang on John. I think if you look at it again you can clearly see Rooney run to the bench, reappear with an eight-foot samurai sword, ritually disembowel the keeper, drape the bloody entrails round the referee's neck, defecate on the penalty spot, cover himself with camouflage paint, before putting the loose ball in the net. That's got to be ungentlemany conduct by the way.

"Yes Mark, he may well have been offside."

[Slim]

Originally Posted by zimbo

Used to quite like Motson, certainly in comparison with Davies.

Now I find it immensely unconfortable listening to him, particularly when in tandem with fellow Chuckle Brother Lawrenson. The number of times he gets his facts blatantly wrong or doesn't see something that would be screamingly obvious to Ray Charles boggles the mind:

"Well, I couldn't see anything wrong with that, could you Mark?"

"Not sure Motty, I think there may have been an offside."

"It's certainly a strange decision, as there was no obvious infringement that I could see. Sir Alex is not going to like that."

"Definite offside Motty."

"Possibly a handball in the build-up, would you say?"

"It's offside Motty."

"Well that will certainly be a talking point if the score stays like this."

"Oh, hang on John. I think if you look at it again you can clearly see Rooney run to the bench, reappear with an eight-foot samurai sword, ritually disembowel the keeper, drape the bloody entrails round the referee's neck, defecate on the penalty spot, cover himself with camouflage paint, before putting the loose ball in the net. That's got to be ungentlemany conduct by the way.

"Yes Mark, he may well have been offside."

[Slim]

Motty used to be the best but I agree he has lost it a bit. He seems confused half the time as to what is happening these days.

I loved his commentary on the France v Portugal Euro 84 semi final though. Tigana went down the right IIRC and crossed to Platini in the box who held it up with his first touch, spun and smacked it into the roof of the net with his second......cue Motty..............
"Tigana.............PLATINI...........PLATINI..... ........GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The Parc de Prince went bonkers.

[Shaggy]

I tend not to listen to commentators waffle. I just hear the bits that matter, and I always felt Davies had a great voice, full of genuine excitement. His voice added to the spectacle, I always felt.

[RedProf]

Originally Posted by ShaggyAlonso

I tend not to listen to commentators waffle. I just hear the bits that matter, and I always felt Davies had a great voice, full of genuine excitement. His voice added to the spectacle, I always felt.

Well said!

[Slim]

Alan Parry and Brian Marwood. Now there is a commentating duo to set the pulse racing with their thrilling descriptions of the beautiful game.

[RedProf]

Nah I liked old Barry Davies - at least he got excited when there was a goal or chance, unlike Motty who is always about 2 seconds behind what happens ont he pitch "Oh err and it's a goal" seems to be his common generic phrase when someone scores, about 1 or 2 seconds after the ball crosses the line.

Surprised no-ones mentioned Gerald Sinstat

[Shaggy]

I used to love Sinstadt and Gubba

[Reece]

My mates say I should be a footy commentator.

[fah-q]

Well they're letting a woman do it, so....

[Reece]

Originally Posted by fah-q

Well they're letting a woman do it, so....

Be VERY careful.....

[fah-q]

Originally Posted by Reece

Be VERY careful.....

[Reece]

Originally Posted by fah-q

I think they only said it because I talk a lot of shit whilst watching the footy

[Slim]

Didn't Sinstadt get caught in a cinema showing porn once?

[fah-q]

Originally Posted by Slim

Didn't Sinstadt get caught in a cinema showing porn once?

Frank Bough was caught in an S+M club

[Slim]

Originally Posted by fah-q

Frank Bough was caught in an S+M club

I think Bough was a coke head too.

I don't know why but I am almost sure Sinstadt was caught in a compromising situation once as well..........

[The Glove]

Originally Posted by Slim

Didn't Sinstadt get caught in a cinema showing porn once?

He did. From then on he only got the shitty games and did 2 minutes worth of commentary.


For me Alan Parry and Ron Atkinson used to be gold when together.

Now all the TV commentators are much aof a muchness. Its the co-commentators that make or break it. Pleat is by far the best because he knows what he is talking about. Granted he likes a whore, but he does more than state the obvious.

[Rigadon]

Alan Green

[spud_gun]

5Live occasionally have a woman commentating on Championship games on a Friday evening. She's nothing short of wank.

Honestly pet get back in the kitchen.

[Slim]

Originally Posted by spud_gun

5Live occasionally have a woman commentating on Championship games on a Friday evening. She's nothing short of wank.

Honestly pet get back in the kitchen.

That's the same woman who is doing MOTD this weekend.
I think she's ok. Certainly better than Connor McNamara on 5 Live - what a twat.

[Mumsafan]

Originally Posted by spud_gun

5Live occasionally have a woman commentating on Championship games on a Friday evening. She's nothing short of wank.

Honestly pet get back in the kitchen.

That's Jacqui Oatley. She's quite good actually. You're very sexist in your attitude. Drag yourself into this century.

[maverick]

Originally Posted by Mumsafan

You're very sexist in your attitude. Drag yourself into this century.

Put your knickers back on and make me a cup of tea.

[jonesie]

Originally Posted by maverick

Put your knickers back on and make me a cup of tea.

Close the door on your way out mate.

[fah-q]

Originally Posted by jonesie23

Close the door on your way out mate.

I think he was making reference to a fast show joke there, and not being serious