taken from football365 a list of what will happen at tomorrows game
Frank Lampard scores via a deflection off four players, beats his chest and Jamie Redknapp smugly informs us that he's silenced his critics.
McClown makes a point of giving Wayne Rooney a very public hug or a manly clap on the shoulder, to prove that they're as close as Ian Paisley and Gerry Adams.
Steven Gerrard sets up a goal from the right wing, thus proving he should be used out there rather than in his proper position.
Aaron Lennon, ditto, left wing.
England have 76% possession.
During which time 76% of you fall asleep. Even if you're in the pub.
Someone scores a free-kick, and we're informed no one misses David Beckham.
Stewart Downing is brought on for Aaron Lennon in the 65th minute. Does little of note.
Rio Ferdinand jumps on the back of the a goalscorer like they've just netted in the World Cup final against Brazil, rather than hit the second in a turgid match against an amateur side.
Wayne Rooney is booked for dissent over a throw-in.
Owen Hargreaves is named man of the match for containing the rampaging Andorrans.
Star-struck Andorran players ask to swap shirts. Three move into Frank Lampard's.
Half of the commentators' sentences begin "With the greatest respect to Andorra..."
The rest inform us that Micah Richards is 'athletic', John Terry is 'brave' and there are so many England fans there "it's like a home game".
Someone from the England camp tells us the win is a "statement of intent".
Someone in the Russia camp dies laughing.
Andorra have one easy chance after a ridiculous piece of England defending. They miss it.
Steve McClown tells us that "someone who watches a lot of international football" says it's the best win over Andorra in March ever. Well, since 2002.
Three journalists are blinded by his smile.
Frank Lampard scores via a deflection off four players, beats his chest and Jamie Redknapp smugly informs us that he's silenced his critics.
McClown makes a point of giving Wayne Rooney a very public hug or a manly clap on the shoulder, to prove that they're as close as Ian Paisley and Gerry Adams.
Steven Gerrard sets up a goal from the right wing, thus proving he should be used out there rather than in his proper position.
Aaron Lennon, ditto, left wing.
England have 76% possession.
During which time 76% of you fall asleep. Even if you're in the pub.
Someone scores a free-kick, and we're informed no one misses David Beckham.
Stewart Downing is brought on for Aaron Lennon in the 65th minute. Does little of note.
Rio Ferdinand jumps on the back of the a goalscorer like they've just netted in the World Cup final against Brazil, rather than hit the second in a turgid match against an amateur side.
Wayne Rooney is booked for dissent over a throw-in.
Owen Hargreaves is named man of the match for containing the rampaging Andorrans.
Star-struck Andorran players ask to swap shirts. Three move into Frank Lampard's.
Half of the commentators' sentences begin "With the greatest respect to Andorra..."
The rest inform us that Micah Richards is 'athletic', John Terry is 'brave' and there are so many England fans there "it's like a home game".
Someone from the England camp tells us the win is a "statement of intent".
Someone in the Russia camp dies laughing.
Andorra have one easy chance after a ridiculous piece of England defending. They miss it.
Steve McClown tells us that "someone who watches a lot of international football" says it's the best win over Andorra in March ever. Well, since 2002.
Three journalists are blinded by his smile.