12 of the best Jurgen Klopp quotes: Top of the Klopps
Not only is the man a master tactician, a fine upstanding coach and one of football's most intriguing individuals, departing Borussia Dortmund coach Jurgen Klopp is also an absolute devil with the one-liners.
Given the big news that broke earlier this week, Toe Poke thought we'd pay homage to Klopp's roller-coaster tenure at Dortmund by rounding up 12 of his finest eccentric zingers.
1. On his slightly less-than-stellar playing days.
"I never succeeded in bringing to the field what was going on in my brain. I had the talent for the fifth division, and the mind for the Bundesliga. The result was a career in the second division."
2. On the defeat to Bayern Munich in the 2013 Champions League final at Wembley. Klopp remains magnanimous.
"The only thing I can say is that it was great. London is the town of the Olympic Games. The weather was good, everything is OK. Only the result is s---."
Klopp did manage to overhaul Bayern, but it didn't last.
3. On the prospect of facing Juventus. Klopp was daunted by the tactical perils of facing the Old Lady in the Champions League last 16 earlier this season; Dortmund eventually crashed out 5-1 on aggregate.
"We're facing the greatest challenge there is in football: to play against an Italian team that only needs a draw."
4. On a poor first-half performance. A half-time team-talk for the ages.
"I told my players during the break: Since we're here anyway, we might actually play a bit of football."
5. On the crucial difference between himself and Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger.
"He likes having the ball, playing football, passes. It's like an orchestra. But it's a silent song. I like heavy metal."
At Dortmund, Klopp had to suffer losing his best player every year.
6. On locking horns with Bayern. Klopp succinctly describes the hardships of having to compete against one of the world's biggest footballing conglomerates year upon year.
"We have a bow and arrow and if we aim well, we can hit the target. The problem is that Bayern has a bazooka."
7. On losing Mario Gotze to Bayern.
"He's leaving because he's Guardiola's favourite. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. I can't make myself shorter and learn Spanish."
8. On competing with Bayern again.
"If we should finish second this summer, I'll find a truck and drive it through my garden. If nobody will rejoice, I'll do it alone."
9. On how it felt to finally overturn the big boys following a 3-1 win over Bayern in February 2011.
"When Dortmund last won here 19 years ago, most of my players were still being breast-fed."
Henrikh Mkhitaryan has perhaps not quite worked out as Klopp would have wanted.
10. On signing Henrikh Mkhitaryan. While you may be forgiven for thinking that Klopp was opting for lyrical abstraction in describing Dortmund's £24 million acquisition of Mkhitaryan, this is apparently a fairly common working-class German colloquialism -- the slightly less crude English equivalent being "fits like a glove."
"Mkhitaryan fits us like an arse on a bucket. What he offers is exactly what we need."
11. On Mats Hummels being linked with a summer move to Manchester United in July 2014.
"If that's not a bulls--- story, I'll eat a broomstick!"
12. On Hummels again, this time lamenting his centre-back's multiple lengthy injury woes.
"We will wait for him like a good wife waiting for her husband who is in jail."
Not only is the man a master tactician, a fine upstanding coach and one of football's most intriguing individuals, departing Borussia Dortmund coach Jurgen Klopp is also an absolute devil with the one-liners.
Given the big news that broke earlier this week, Toe Poke thought we'd pay homage to Klopp's roller-coaster tenure at Dortmund by rounding up 12 of his finest eccentric zingers.
1. On his slightly less-than-stellar playing days.
"I never succeeded in bringing to the field what was going on in my brain. I had the talent for the fifth division, and the mind for the Bundesliga. The result was a career in the second division."
2. On the defeat to Bayern Munich in the 2013 Champions League final at Wembley. Klopp remains magnanimous.
"The only thing I can say is that it was great. London is the town of the Olympic Games. The weather was good, everything is OK. Only the result is s---."
Klopp did manage to overhaul Bayern, but it didn't last.
3. On the prospect of facing Juventus. Klopp was daunted by the tactical perils of facing the Old Lady in the Champions League last 16 earlier this season; Dortmund eventually crashed out 5-1 on aggregate.
"We're facing the greatest challenge there is in football: to play against an Italian team that only needs a draw."
4. On a poor first-half performance. A half-time team-talk for the ages.
"I told my players during the break: Since we're here anyway, we might actually play a bit of football."
5. On the crucial difference between himself and Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger.
"He likes having the ball, playing football, passes. It's like an orchestra. But it's a silent song. I like heavy metal."
At Dortmund, Klopp had to suffer losing his best player every year.
6. On locking horns with Bayern. Klopp succinctly describes the hardships of having to compete against one of the world's biggest footballing conglomerates year upon year.
"We have a bow and arrow and if we aim well, we can hit the target. The problem is that Bayern has a bazooka."
7. On losing Mario Gotze to Bayern.
"He's leaving because he's Guardiola's favourite. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. I can't make myself shorter and learn Spanish."
8. On competing with Bayern again.
"If we should finish second this summer, I'll find a truck and drive it through my garden. If nobody will rejoice, I'll do it alone."
9. On how it felt to finally overturn the big boys following a 3-1 win over Bayern in February 2011.
"When Dortmund last won here 19 years ago, most of my players were still being breast-fed."
Henrikh Mkhitaryan has perhaps not quite worked out as Klopp would have wanted.
10. On signing Henrikh Mkhitaryan. While you may be forgiven for thinking that Klopp was opting for lyrical abstraction in describing Dortmund's £24 million acquisition of Mkhitaryan, this is apparently a fairly common working-class German colloquialism -- the slightly less crude English equivalent being "fits like a glove."
"Mkhitaryan fits us like an arse on a bucket. What he offers is exactly what we need."
11. On Mats Hummels being linked with a summer move to Manchester United in July 2014.
"If that's not a bulls--- story, I'll eat a broomstick!"
12. On Hummels again, this time lamenting his centre-back's multiple lengthy injury woes.
"We will wait for him like a good wife waiting for her husband who is in jail."
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