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-   -   Crap Jokes (https://www.est1892.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=53677)

Winstonio 20-02-09 03:39 PM

ye come on subby

johnp 20-02-09 04:08 PM

Been chatting to a 14 year old girl on the internet. She's funny, sexy and flirty.
Now she tells me she's an undercover cop.

How cool is that at her age?

bobbyfallon 20-02-09 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elvoz (Post 1279336)
Disabled toilets.

Ironically, the only toilets big enough to run around in


My daughter has reached that age where she is asking embarrassing

questions about sex.

just this morning she asked, "Is that the best you can do?"




A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he
was
caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old
daughter.
Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them.... they are
bound
to be curious about sex at that age."

"Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her fucking

appendix out!"



Police have finally admitted they got it wrong in the shooting of Jean

Charles de Menez.

It was his naughty brother Dennis they were after


met a 14 year old girl on the internet. She was clever, funny, flirty

and sexy, so I suggested we meet up.

She turned out to be an undercover detective.

How cool is that at her age?!



I was at a cash machine when an old lady walked up and asked me to help

her check her balance

So I pushed her over

I just saw that Harry Potter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. I

mean, a ginger kid, with two friends?




I had a mate who was suicidal

He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train

He was chuffed to bits

Quote:

Originally Posted by johnp (Post 1279944)
Been chatting to a 14 year old girl on the internet. She's funny, sexy and flirty.
Now she tells me she's an undercover cop.

How cool is that at her age
?



fail :source:

johnp 20-02-09 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bobbyfallon (Post 1279947)
fail :source:

:handshake:

Didn't read the whole thread :shake:

Reaper 20-02-09 04:48 PM

Thought for the day:


Science flies you to the moon.

Religion flies you into buildings.

Aza 20-02-09 06:31 PM

Patrick Swayze and Jade Goody are appearing in Pantomime together this Christmas...











































"OH NO THEY'RE NOT"

Subby 20-02-09 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Winstonio (Post 1279925)
ye come on subby

right enough enough with the requests....no more PM replies...fuck me my inbox is full and I can't be arsed sending the millionth PM with that joke...case closed. You missed it now then tough. That is all :handshake:

Subby 20-02-09 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aza (Post 1280040)
Patrick Swayze and Jade Goody are appearing in Pantomime together this Christmas...











































"OH NO THEY'RE NOT"







OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH man....that's bad :grr:








































:haha::haha:
























:grr:
























:haha:

Aza 20-02-09 06:49 PM

I was a bit twitchy about posting that one; but then I re-read the thread title :handshake:

ste6422 24-02-09 02:26 AM

The wife checked my coat when i came home last night,She couldn't find a trace of blonde,brunette or red hair anywhere.
Now she's convinced i'm shagging Jade Goody

Liverpel 26-02-09 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ste6422 (Post 1280397)
The wife checked my coat when i came home last night,She couldn't find a trace of blonde,brunette or red hair anywhere.
Now she's convinced i'm shagging Jade Goody

:haha::haha:

Kinell 26-02-09 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ste6422 (Post 1280397)
The wife checked my coat when i came home last night,She couldn't find a trace of blonde,brunette or red hair anywhere.
Now she's convinced i'm shagging Jade Goody

:haha: Welcome to the forum!

Cerberus 26-02-09 05:15 PM

I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pickpocketed.










How could anyone stoop so low?

Subby 26-02-09 05:49 PM

Jade goody has sealed another exclusive TV deal...she will be appearing in Most Haunted sometime in early April :source:

Stanbull 26-02-09 10:38 PM

An Evertonian mate text me from the match last week saying Cahill was on fire

I text him back saying so was his mum, dad, brother, sister & nan

Winstonio 27-02-09 01:32 AM

The Aussies have said they always wanted the ashes

Now they fuckin got them

Woobus 27-02-09 09:51 AM

So Jade and Jack finally got married?

Call me a cynic , but I give it about a month.

cadmium 27-02-09 06:34 PM

What's the difference between Stevie Wonder and Jade Goody?

Stevie's got more chance of seeing Christmas

Elvoz 27-02-09 07:39 PM

wendy richards is to star in a new comedy to be screened later this year

"are you being preserved"

Jaymo 28-02-09 09:21 PM

I missed Jade Goodys television show on Living TV, I hear it will be repeated on the History channel in a few months time.

:grr:






:haha:



:shake:

tommyg 01-03-09 09:44 AM

Haha this thread has been made redundant for me after discovering the charms of sickipedia :P

Gingawaria 01-03-09 01:27 PM

Did you get the free Jade Goody calender that came in the papers?

I think mine is faulty it only goes up to March.

Subby 02-03-09 09:40 AM

Overstepped the line I'm afraid.

Subby 02-03-09 09:41 AM

Murphy's Law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.


:haha:

Reaper 02-03-09 11:51 AM

That is fuckin brilliant :haha:

Gingawaria 02-03-09 03:53 PM

It's ironic that Jade Goody looks like an egg- she'll be in a box this Easter.

kingfunk 02-03-09 04:50 PM

Iv decided to remove that joke in guilt, its just not right.

Subby 02-03-09 06:00 PM

come on King...it's the law to post bad ones on here....or PM them to me :source:

Elvoz 02-03-09 08:52 PM

jade goody has confided to close friends that she hopes the hair loss she is suffering doesnt affect her looks




well, at least she hasnt lost her sense o humour

Neil Young 03-03-09 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Subby (Post 1284240)
RACIST SHIT

They cross the line, even for this thread.

There's a difference between, on the one hand, bad taste jokes and, on the other, peddling racist stereotypes and using racist language (starred out or not).

Elvoz 03-03-09 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neil Young (Post 1284952)
They cross the line, even for this thread.

There's a difference between, on the one hand, bad taste jokes and, on the other, peddling racist stereotypes and using racist language (starred out or not).

i would of thought thats for grown ups to think about tbh

its ok to tell jokes about cancer and people shaggin kids but not about "pakis" - and such terms

forgive me for seeing that as bollocks :handshake:

Reece 03-03-09 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neil Young (Post 1284952)
They cross the line, even for this thread.

There's a difference between, on the one hand, bad taste jokes and, on the other, peddling racist stereotypes and using racist language (starred out or not).

Agreed Neil. I find plenty of jokes on this thread distasteful to say the least, but the thread has been allowed to continue under the premise that people know what it's likely to contain and can make their own minds up. But when it comes to blatantly racist jokes, they will not be tolerated on here full stop. Say to your friends and colleague for all I care (although I suggest you would pick carefully who you repeated them to), but not on a public forum, which will contain people of many different backgrounds.


:handshake:

Elvoz 03-03-09 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reggie (Post 1284970)
Agreed Neil. I find plenty of jokes on this thread distasteful to say the least, but the thread has been allowed to continue under the premise that people know what it's likely to contain and can make their own minds up. But when it comes to blatantly racist jokes, they will not be tolerated on here full stop. Say to your friends and colleague for all I care (although I suggest you would pick carefully who you repeated them to), but not on a public forum, which will contain people of many different backgrounds.


:handshake:

:grr::sigh::confused:

Reece 03-03-09 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elvoz (Post 1284972)
:grr::sigh::confused:

If you want to read/post racist jokes, find a BNP forum ffs.

Elvoz 03-03-09 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reggie (Post 1284977)
If you want to read/post racist jokes, find a BNP forum ffs.

i dont want to spam this thread but that is bollocks
if you cant see it i pity you reg :handshake:

Reece 03-03-09 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elvoz (Post 1284986)
i dont want to spam this thread but that is bollocks
if you cant see it i pity you reg :handshake:

No please explain to me why it is bollocks? I mean lets face it, it's not the first time you've defended racism on these forums.

Neil Young 03-03-09 11:00 AM

Elvoz, you're talking shit. We should be used to it by now but "jokes" that Jim Davidson wouldn't even have the nerve to tell any more are bang out of order.

You may think you're grown up and tolerant for reading them - I think you either have a very warped vision of what's mature or you don't understand racism when it hits you between the eyes.

So try not to be patronising to me eh, there's a good lad.

Elvoz 03-03-09 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reggie (Post 1284994)
No please explain to me why it is bollocks? I mean lets face it, it's not the first time you've defended racism on these forums.

as i have said

if your prepared to tolerate cancer jokes and paedo stuff then that is as offensive if not more so than racism
the thread says over 18s if you are likely to be offended dont fuckin go into it
if you dont mind hearing jokes about madeline mcgann but find "****" jokes out of order i find you a bit odd - no offence

Elvoz 03-03-09 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neil Young (Post 1284999)
Elvoz, you're talking shit. We should be used to it by now but "jokes" that Jim Davidson wouldn't even have the nerve to tell any more are bang out of order.

You may think you're grown up and tolerant for reading them - I think you either have a very warped vision of what's mature or you don't understand racism when it hits you between the eyes.

So try not to be patronising to me eh, there's a good lad.

so tell me pal why its ok to joke about kids being killed or sexually abused or to joke about kids parents dying yet its not ok to tell racist jokes ?
try to make it basic for my pea like brain

Reece 03-03-09 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elvoz (Post 1285005)
as i have said

if your prepared to tolerate cancer jokes and paedo stuff then that is as offensive if not more so than racism
the thread says over 18s if you are likely to be offended dont fuckin go into it
if you dont mind hearing jokes about madeline mcgann but find "****" jokes out of order i find you a bit odd - no offence

My first post on the matter said I find many of the jokes in here distasteful to say the least, so don't suggest I "don't mind hearing them". The racist one was the first one in ages that was reported to the mods though. Just because someone has a choice whether they read something that is wrong, doesn't make the thing that is written any less wrong.

If it was up to me then this whole thread would be binned to be honest. But maybe that's because I'm not all grown up like you :rolleyes:


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