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-   -   Crap Jokes (https://www.est1892.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=53677)

Fivex 03-07-21 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kenneth (Post 3722623)
Topical one:

Why should you avoid buying Ukrainian underpants?

Chernobyl fallout.


Deserves the :clap:

rudedog 03-07-21 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kenneth (Post 3722623)
Topical one:

Why should you avoid buying Ukrainian underpants?

Chernobyl fallout.

:haha:

5europeancups 10-07-21 09:08 AM

A geordie lass walks into a hairdressers and asks for a perm. The hairdresser replied ‘ i wandered lernly as a clood’…

Norbs 10-07-21 09:42 AM

:haha:

Norbs 10-07-21 09:43 PM

This may be of interest to someone. A friend of mine has 2 tickets for the Final at Wembley on Sunday. He paid £300 each including accommodation but he didn't realise when he bought them months ago that it was going to be the same day as his wedding! If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place!! It's at Burnley Registry Office, at 4pm. The bride's name is Deborah

paulg 11-07-21 11:14 AM

:haha:

tufty 01-08-21 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by badpiggy (Post 3722486)
Fuckin Tufty :rock: :rock: :rock:

Where the hell you been man? All well?

been a while mate, various reasons :(

getting back up to speed, more shite jokes to follow :rock:

tufty 01-08-21 09:49 AM

It's been discovered that Ants are the only creature on Earth that appear to be immune to all forms of illness and viruses

Scientists say its down to them having little anti bodies

HamboCairns 01-08-21 10:43 AM

Why did the Baker have smelly hands?





He needed a poo.

Pepe79 01-08-21 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HamboCairns (Post 3726852)
Why did the Baker have smelly hands?





He needed a poo.

Kneaded ;)

Norbs 01-08-21 07:05 PM

Del

Pepe79 01-08-21 07:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Norbs (Post 3726879)
Del

Echo?

Ffs with the edit, Norbs :D

Norbs 01-08-21 07:26 PM

Haha, was pedanting that you had a capital K and then decided not to be such a dick after all :D

HamboCairns 02-08-21 02:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pepe79 (Post 3726865)
Kneaded ;)

Then it wouldn't funny would you plank!

Pepe79 02-08-21 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HamboCairns (Post 3726913)
Then it wouldn't funny would you plank!

Yes because the punchline is a pun, you daft twat!

What's the relevance of them being a baker and why would their hands be smelly if they literally just needed to take a shit? :haha:

Fivex 02-08-21 09:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pepe79 (Post 3726924)
Yes because the punchline is a pun, you daft twat!

What's the relevance of them being a baker and why would their hands be smelly if they literally just needed to take a shit? :haha:


:D :handshake:

Alex 02-08-21 03:50 PM

Its a good joke, but its a joke that wouldn't be subjected to this line of questioning if it had just been said out loud.

Pepe79 02-08-21 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex (Post 3727005)
Its a good joke, but its a joke that wouldn't be subjected to this line of questioning if it had just been said out loud.

No, because we’d have assumed he said ‘kneaded’ and not ‘needed’!

Fivex 02-08-21 03:57 PM

I’ve got a feeling people would still question it if Hambo said it out loud though. :crackoff:

Norbs 02-08-21 09:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HamboCairns (Post 3726913)
Then it wouldn't funny would you plank!

:point:

badpiggy 03-08-21 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tufty (Post 3726839)
been a while mate, various reasons :(

getting back up to speed, more shite jokes to follow :rock:

Well I hope all is good with you now :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by tufty (Post 3726840)
It's been discovered that Ants are the only creature on Earth that appear to be immune to all forms of illness and viruses

Scientists say its down to them having little anti bodies

Brutal. Fully complies with thread title criteria :handshake:

brightred 05-08-21 01:33 AM

Somebody please tell a joke

HamboCairns 05-08-21 12:20 PM

Why do Swedish warships have bar codes on them?

So they can scan de Navy in.

tufty 05-08-21 05:17 PM

Two flies sat on a fresh dog turd

One of the flies does a very loud fart

The other fly says
"do you fukin mind, I'm eating me dinner!"

bacon 06-08-21 05:03 AM

My English Teacher said, "Your grammar is shit!"
I replied, "Your grandad is a cu*t!"

spud_gun 17-09-21 03:47 PM

What do you call a lost wolf?



Where do Sharks go on holiday?



How did the artist protect his castle?



What do you call a smelly Fairy



Courtesy of my 7 year old son

Buzzo 17-09-21 07:45 PM

Smelly fairy joke wins for me :respect:

Kenneth 17-09-21 08:26 PM

My four year olds favourite joke is ..

Why did that banana go to the doctor?



She tells me it about every other day on average.

Buzzo 17-09-21 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kenneth (Post 3735335)
My four year olds favourite joke is ..

Why did that banana go to the doctor?



She tells me it about every other day on average.

:haha: Yeah, that’s a winner also :handshake:

spud_gun 18-09-21 08:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kenneth (Post 3735335)
My four year olds favourite joke is ..

Why did that banana go to the doctor?



She tells me it about every other day on average.

:D

labourRed 18-09-21 09:07 AM

What's the difference between black-eyed peas and chickpeas?


razortoddy 18-09-21 02:47 PM

What's brown and sticky?










A stick

badpiggy 19-09-21 11:23 AM

What's brown and runny?








Usain Bolt


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