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FatTony 03-10-07 03:13 PM

Funny Quiz Answers
 
QUIZMANIA (ITV)
Greg Scott: We're looking for an occupation beginning with 'T'.
Contestant: Doctor.

Scott: No, it's 'T'. 'T' for Tommy. 'T' for Tango.
Contestant: Oh, right . . . (pause) . . . Doctor.



DANNY KELLY SHOW (RADIO WM)
Kelly: Which French Mediterranean town hosts a famous film festival every year?
Contestant: I don't know, I need a clue.
Kelly: OK. What do beans come in?
Contestant: Cartons?



BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?

Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
Contestant: Leicester.



BBC NORFOLK
Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: I don't know.
White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
Contestant: Arm.
White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...?

Contestant: Strong.
White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
Contestant: Louis.
White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: Frank Sinatra?



LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)
Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy?
Contestant: France.
Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.

Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.
Trelinski: Just guess a country then.
Contestant: Paris.



UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?
Contestant: Homosexuals.
Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.



THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: prison, or the Conservative Party?
Contestant: The Conservative Party.



BEACON RADIO (WOLVERHAMPTON)
DJ Mark: For Pounds 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?



THE WEAKEST LINK
Anne Robinson: In traffic, what 'J' is where two roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway?



UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name?
Contestant: Goosey?



GWR FM (Bristol)
Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.



RTE RADIO 2FM (IRELAND)
Presenter: What is the name of the long- running TV comedy show about pensioners: Last Of The ...?
Caller: Mohicans.



QUIZMANIA
Greg Scott: We're looking for a word that goes in front of 'clock'.
Contestant: Grandfather.
Scott: Grandfather clock is already up there, say something else.
Contestant: Panda.



PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER)
Phil: What's 11 squared?
Contestant: I don't know.
Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.

Contestant: Is it five?



RICHARD AND JUDY
Q: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
A: Forrest Gump.



RICHARD AND JUDY
Leslie: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
Contestant: Er . . .
Leslie: He makes bread . . .
Contestant: Er . . .

Leslie: He makes cakes . . .
Contestant: Kipling Street?



MAGIC 52 (NORTHEAST ENGLAND)
Presenter: In what year was President Kennedy assassinated?
Contestant: Erm . . .
Presenter: Well, let's put it this way - he didn't see 1964.
Contestant: 1965?



SIMPLY THE BEST (ITV)
Phil Tufnell: How many Olympic Games have been held?

Contestant: Six.
Tufnell: Higher!
Contestant: Five.



FORT BOYARD (CHALLENGE TV)
Jodie Marsh: Arrange these two groups of letters to form a word - CHED
and PIT.
Team: Chedpit.



LINCS FM PHONE-IN
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?

Contestant: Barcelona.
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.



RADIO 1 EARLY MORNING SHOW
Presenter: How many toes would three people have in total?
Contestant: 23.



NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ (BBC RADIO NOTTINGHAM)
Jeff Owen: In which country is Mount Everest?
Contestant (long pause): Er, it's not in Scotland, is it?



THE MICK GIRDLER SHOW (BBC RADIO SOLENT)
Girdler: I'm looking for an island in the Atlantic whose name includes the letter 'e'.
Contestant: Ghana.
Girdler: No, listen. It's an island in the Atlantic Ocean.
Contestant: New Zealand.



NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
Question: What is the world's largest continent?
Contestant: The Pacific



ROCK FM (PRESTON)

Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo Da Vinci.
Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?



THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
Steve Le Fevre: What was signed to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
Contestant: Magna Carta.



JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... er ... er ... three?



NATIONAL LOTTERY

Eamonn Holmes: There are three states of matter: solid, liquid and what?
Contestant: Jelly.



RICHARD ALLINSON SHOW (RADIO 2)
Allinson: What international brand shares its name with the Greek goddess of victory?
Contestant (after long deliberation): Erm, Kellogg's?



BLIND DATE (ITV)
Girl: Name a book written by Jane Austen.
Boy: Charlotte Bronte.



CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL)

Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller: Japan.
Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er ... Mexico?



DOG EAT DOG (BBC1)
Ulrika Jonsson: Who wrote Lord of the Rings?
Contestant: Enid Blyton



PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE)
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?

Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.



NATIONAL LOTTERY
Eamonn Holmes: Dizzy Gillespie is famous for playing what?
Contestant: Basketball.



NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ
Jeff Owen: Where did the D-Day landings take place?
Contestant (after pause): Pearl Harbor?



DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?

Contestant: Holland?
Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
Contestant: No.



PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er . . .
Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . .

Contestant: Blimey?
Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .
Contestant: (Silence)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .
Contestant: Walked?



NATIONAL LOTTERY
Dale Winton: Skegness is a seaside resort on the coast of which sea:a) Irish Sea, b) English Channel, c) North Sea?
Contestant: Oh, I know that, you can start writing out the cheque now, Dale. It's on the east coast, so it must be the Irish Sea.

THE VAULT

Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
Contestant: Nostalgia.



LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)
Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?
Contestant: Jewish.
Presenter: That's close enough.



BREAKFAST SHOW, RADIO 1
Chris Moyles: Which 'S' is a kind of whale that can grow up to 80 tonnes?
Contestant: Ummm . . .

Moyles: It begins with 'S' and rhymes with 'perm'.
Contestant: Shark.



STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?
Contestant: Jesus.

Slim 03-10-07 03:26 PM

:haha: Some classics on there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by FatTony (Post 707596)


NATIONAL LOTTERY

Eamonn Holmes: There are three states of matter: solid, liquid and what?
Contestant: Jelly.


Was Captain Fog that contestant? :eyebrow:


:crackoff:

Shaggy 03-10-07 03:39 PM

:haha: :haha: :haha:

I am absolutely roaring laughing at some of these.

Fubar 03-10-07 04:19 PM

really is incredible how stupid some people are

Blind Melon 03-10-07 05:27 PM

absolute quality mate, I was pi55ing myself reading those! there really are some imbicilles out there!

Marineboy 03-10-07 05:34 PM

If you've never heard "hold your plums" there's some crackers here.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/liverpool/fun/2...ms_index.shtml

ELNINO 9 04-10-07 01:34 PM

how thick can some people be

Shaggy 04-10-07 04:12 PM

Never forget this classic on Family Fortunes..

Bygraves: Name something people take with them to the beach.
Johnson: Turkey.

Bygraves: The first thing you buy at a supermarket.
Johnson: Turkey.

Bygraves: A food often stuffed.
Johnson: Turkey.

andyinswinton 05-10-07 01:03 AM

Those answers are really funny.

How daft are some people!

Pacman 05-10-07 12:07 PM

:haha:

Pacman 05-10-07 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShaggyAlonso (Post 710694)
Never forget this classic on Family Fortunes..

Bygraves: Name something people take with them to the beach.
Johnson: Turkey.

Bygraves: The first thing you buy at a supermarket.
Johnson: Turkey.

Bygraves: A food often stuffed.
Johnson: Turkey.

I liked the one.

Dennis: We asked 100 people to name something green.
Contestant: My jumper

Fan65 05-10-07 01:00 PM

Name a furry animal :

A Bee

ChesterDave 09-03-15 07:18 PM

Two Tribes

Q) Danny John Jules played The Cat in which TV Show
A) Bagpuss

rodo 09-03-15 07:34 PM


Saveloy 09-03-15 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChesterDave (Post 3078618)
Two Tribes

Q) Danny John Jules played The Cat in which TV Show
A) Bagpuss

:haha: Great bump.

What was Ghandi's first name?
Goosey? :haha: :rock:

Buzzo 09-03-15 10:23 PM

Quote:

DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?

Contestant: Holland?
Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
Contestant: No.
:haha:

Tee 13-03-15 12:02 AM

:haha:

Norbs 13-03-15 08:25 AM

:haha:

Maxiedge 13-03-15 08:35 AM

:haha:

Red_Polo 13-03-15 06:48 PM

Some of these are great :haha: :haha:


badpiggy 24-06-15 12:14 PM

[QUOTE]On holiday a few years back, I took part in a quiz and managed to reach the final only to lose out after what I consider to this day, to be a correct answer. The question asked 'What 'C' would you associate Jeremy Clarkson with?' to which I confidently replied 'cunt'. Not only was I told the answer was incorrect, but I was asked by the holiday rep to leave the premises immediately! Has anyone else experienced such appalling treatment whilst holidaying with one's family?
Noel, Leeds/[QUOTE]

Stanbull 24-06-15 10:49 PM

I was in a quiz with my wife and there was a question about the film The Dirty Dozen and she said is that the one with seven of them in it!

ChesterDave 14-08-15 06:15 PM

I'm convinced the people on this Two Tribes are forced to appear.

They can't be applying because they think they know stuff.

wiw 20-08-15 10:44 AM

This is fictitious and from a TV show, but i nearly wet myself when first seeing it on Phoenix Nights:

Ray Von/The Quiz Ninja: And the answer is, the Shroud of Turin.
Phoenix Nights Quiz Team: Ah, sh*t.
Kenny Junior: What did we put ?
Kenny Senior: Lisa Stansfield

:D

ChesterDave 24-11-15 07:18 PM

On Eggheads and actually one of the Eggheads not a contestant.

And I don't care they might not like football they are smug buggers so I'm going to mock. I missed the exact questions but based on the answer...

Who took over from Alex Ferguson as manager of Manchester United.


He gave the answer Tommy Docherty.

Fivex 24-11-15 08:24 PM

Wow, absolutely mental.

Thanks for letting us know. :crackoff:

ChesterDave 24-11-15 08:26 PM

Anytime. Its a service I like to provide. I would have created a new thread if it was that gobshite CJ getting it wrong.

dom9 24-11-15 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fivex (Post 3206477)
Wow, absolutely mental.

Thanks for letting us know. :crackoff:

:haha:

PTP 24-11-15 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChesterDave (Post 3206455)
On Eggheads and actually one of the Eggheads not a contestant.

And I don't care they might not like football they are smug buggers so I'm going to mock. I missed the exact questions but based on the answer...

Who took over from Alex Ferguson as manager of Manchester United.


He gave the answer Tommy Docherty.

Haha I was watching, the question ws which former Manchester United manager went on to manage real sociedad in 2014

brightred 16-07-16 02:44 AM

Last year while in Lanzarote myself and the family won a pub quiz. I was very happy and stood up and gave a speech, promising to return and compete again.

We returned to Lanzarote this year but my family refused to go to the quiz.

Apparently I'm embarrassing.

Gray 16-07-16 08:55 AM

Great story

Vermilion 16-07-16 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brightred (Post 3298805)
Last year while in Lanzarote myself and the family won a pub quiz. I was very happy and stood up and gave a speech, promising to return and compete again.

We returned to Lanzarote this year but my family refused to go to the quiz.

Apparently I'm embarrassing.


tanner 16-07-16 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brightred (Post 3298805)
Last year while in Lanzarote myself and the family won a pub quiz. I was very happy and stood up and gave a speech, promising to return and compete again.

We returned to Lanzarote this year but my family refused to go to the quiz.

Apparently I'm embarrassing.

A story well worthy of resurrecting a 9 year old thread.

Kenneth 16-07-16 04:32 PM

:haha: wtf

ChesterDave 16-07-16 05:22 PM


ChesterDave 03-09-16 06:33 PM

Pointless Celebrities: An element in the periodic table beginning with a letter in the second half of the alphabet

Arlene Phillips: A Flame (aflame? Not suite sure what hideously wrong answer on multiple levels she was trying to give))

ChesterDave 03-01-17 08:06 PM

Have we all seen this doing the rounds from Pointless yesterday?

http://metro.co.uk/video/pointless-c...riend-1385173/

Mike 07-01-17 12:23 AM

Yet another :haha:


Subby 07-01-17 09:10 PM

Quote:

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?
Contestant: Homosexuals.
Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.
:haha:

Venton 07-01-17 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brightred (Post 3298805)
Last year while in Lanzarote myself and the family won a pub quiz. I was very happy and stood up and gave a speech, promising to return and compete again.

We returned to Lanzarote this year but my family refused to go to the quiz.

Apparently I'm embarrassing.

:haha:


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