Thread: Scum jokes
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Old 12-10-08, 01:09 PM   #17
pondus
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Join Date: Nov 2006
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Q: What do Manchester United Fans and sperm have in common?
A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

Q: What do you have when 100 Manchester United Fans are buried up to their necks in sand?
A: Not enough sand.

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Manchester United Fan in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Q: What do Manchester United Fans use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.

Q: You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and a Manchester United Fan.You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A: Shoot the United Fan. Twice.

A man meets a friend and sees that his friend's car is a total write-off and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his friend, "What's happened to your car?"
"Well," the friend replies, "I ran over David Beckham".
"OK," says the man, "that explains the blood... But what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt?"
"Well, he tried to escape through the park."

Four surgeons are taking a coffee break:
1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is colour coded."
4th surgeon says "I prefer Man U fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and arses are interchangeable."
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