It appears you have not yet registered with our community. To register please click here...

est1892
Old 27-09-10, 07:51 PM   #921
Stanbull
Benitez
 
Stanbull's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 990
My wifes complained that I'm always pushing her around and talking behind her back.....


What doers she expect she's in a fucking wheelchair
Stanbull is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28-09-10, 08:07 PM   #922
JohnOK
Benitez
 
JohnOK's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 705
A man goes to the doctor and the doctor says...

"I have some bad news you have aids"

"Oh dear" the patient replies

"One other thing" the doctor says "You have Alzheimer's"

"Could be worse" says the patient "I could have aids"
JohnOK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30-09-10, 11:42 PM   #923
Subby
George Soros
 
Subby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 14,442
Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnOK View Post
A man goes to the doctor and the doctor says...

"I have some bad news you have aids"

"Oh dear" the patient replies

"One other thing" the doctor says "You have Alzheimer's"

"Could be worse" says the patient "I could have aids"
bahahahahahaha .....slayed me that one
__________________
Cheers

Subby

www.subbytech.com - Use your "est" discount code to get 15% off everything in the store too

MetalliGear Neo Qube : Ryzen 3600 : Gigabyte x570 Aorus Elite : 32GB Dominator 3600Mhz : Sabrent Gen 4 NVME SSD : 3080Ti Founders : MasterLiquid 360 : 850w G2 : CableMod custom cables : Win 10
Subby is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 02-10-10, 12:42 AM   #924
Will
Fagan
 
Will's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,089
My daughter thought she was very funny by spelling out the word "cock" in her alphabetti spaghetti.

She soon ate her words.
__________________
When we hang the capitalists they will sell us the rope we use.
Will is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-10, 10:10 PM   #925
Jaymo
Dalglish
 
Jaymo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 2,031
What's the difference between rape and murder?

My mood.
Jaymo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-10-10, 01:00 PM   #926
Stanbull
Benitez
 
Stanbull's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 990
Elizabeth Fritzel has just tweeted that the Chilean miners are lightweight
Stanbull is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-10-10, 07:37 PM   #927
Shaggy
Dressed up as Batman?
 
Shaggy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 132,061
Cheryl Cole, Louis Walsh and Simon Cowell are walking along the street when Cheryl trips, falls forward and jams her head in some railings.

Simon, quick as a flash, pulls her knickers down and bangs her senseless from behind. Slapping her tight little arse he turns to Louis and says "Your turn".

Louis starts crying.

"What's wrong?", asks Simon.

Louis sobs "My head won't fit in the railings"

__________________
That were absolute diabolical
Shaggy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-10-10, 07:58 PM   #928
Kenneth
Dan Ashcroft
 
Kenneth's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 53,521
....
Kenneth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17-10-10, 02:47 PM   #929
5europeancups
Fagan
 
5europeancups's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,381
John W Henry is considereing offering Roy Hodgson and extension to his current contract.
__________________
Jacques Brel is alive and well and playing at Anfield
5europeancups is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17-10-10, 04:40 PM   #930
greenbloodred
Fagan
 
greenbloodred's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,481
Quote:
Originally Posted by 5europeancups View Post
john w henry is considereing offering roy hodgson and extension to his current contract.
lifetime ban deserved for that one!!!!
greenbloodred is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17-10-10, 06:24 PM   #931
paulg
Dalglish
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,823
Quote:
Originally Posted by 5europeancups View Post
John W Henry is considereing offering Roy Hodgson and extension to his current contract.
That BETTER be a joke.
paulg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17-10-10, 07:36 PM   #932
Stanbull
Benitez
 
Stanbull's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 990
Quote:
Originally Posted by 5europeancups View Post
John W Henry is considereing offering Roy Hodgson and extension to his current contract.
Sick man!!
Stanbull is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-10-10, 10:42 PM   #933
djphal
Hodgsoned
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 56
The head nun tells the two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes. So the one nun says to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door."

So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?"

"Blind man!"

The nuns look at each other, then one nun says, "He's blind, he can't see. What could it hurt." They let him in.

The blind man walks in and says, "Hey, nice tits. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?"
djphal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27-10-10, 10:10 AM   #934
Subby
George Soros
 
Subby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 14,442


I lol'd
__________________
Cheers

Subby

www.subbytech.com - Use your "est" discount code to get 15% off everything in the store too

MetalliGear Neo Qube : Ryzen 3600 : Gigabyte x570 Aorus Elite : 32GB Dominator 3600Mhz : Sabrent Gen 4 NVME SSD : 3080Ti Founders : MasterLiquid 360 : 850w G2 : CableMod custom cables : Win 10
Subby is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 27-10-10, 10:39 AM   #935
elrichio86
Types slowly
 
elrichio86's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 4,561
I feel sorry for Russell Brand, before he got married he was going to bed every night with Katy Perry, now he sleeps with Katy Brand
elrichio86 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27-10-10, 09:46 PM   #936
pezzzer
Sony ftw!
 
pezzzer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,220
Good news! im on Dragons Den nxt week......
Ive invented a landmine that looks like a prayer mat!!
__________________
ps3 fanclub member#1
sony will win the console war.
pezzzer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27-10-10, 10:56 PM   #937
Stanbull
Benitez
 
Stanbull's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 990
Quote:
Originally Posted by pezzzer View Post
Good news! im on Dragons Den nxt week......
Ive invented a landmine that looks like a prayer mat!!
Your prophets should go through the roof
Stanbull is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27-10-10, 11:15 PM   #938
pezzzer
Sony ftw!
 
pezzzer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,220
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stanbull View Post
Your prophets should go through the roof
even in our shaky koran climate
__________________
ps3 fanclub member#1
sony will win the console war.
pezzzer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28-10-10, 01:38 AM   #939
Kenneth
Dan Ashcroft
 
Kenneth's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 53,521
Quote:
Originally Posted by pezzzer View Post
Good news! im on Dragons Den nxt week......
Ive invented a landmine that looks like a prayer mat!!
__________________
Kick VAR out of football.
Kenneth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-11-10, 11:23 AM   #940
Subby
George Soros
 
Subby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 14,442
A man goes into a sex shop and asks for an inflatable doll.
The shop assistant says, 'Male or female?'
The customer says, 'Female.'
The shop...assistant asks, 'Black or white?'
The customer replies, 'White.'
The shop assistant asks, 'Christian or Muslim?'
The customer replies, 'What thehell does religion have to do with it?'
The shop assistant says, 'The Muslim one blows itself up'
__________________
Cheers

Subby

www.subbytech.com - Use your "est" discount code to get 15% off everything in the store too

MetalliGear Neo Qube : Ryzen 3600 : Gigabyte x570 Aorus Elite : 32GB Dominator 3600Mhz : Sabrent Gen 4 NVME SSD : 3080Ti Founders : MasterLiquid 360 : 850w G2 : CableMod custom cables : Win 10
Subby is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 09-11-10, 12:53 PM   #941
Subby
George Soros
 
Subby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 14,442
So everybody is getting excited that Take That are performing on the X Factor with Robbie Williams for the first time in 15 years this coming weekend. Personally, I would be far more impressed if Boyzone were to perform with Stephen Gately
__________________
Cheers

Subby

www.subbytech.com - Use your "est" discount code to get 15% off everything in the store too

MetalliGear Neo Qube : Ryzen 3600 : Gigabyte x570 Aorus Elite : 32GB Dominator 3600Mhz : Sabrent Gen 4 NVME SSD : 3080Ti Founders : MasterLiquid 360 : 850w G2 : CableMod custom cables : Win 10
Subby is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-10, 05:55 PM   #942
Shaggy
Dressed up as Batman?
 
Shaggy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 132,061
Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnOK View Post
A man goes to the doctor and the doctor says...

"I have some bad news you have aids"

"Oh dear" the patient replies

"One other thing" the doctor says "You have Alzheimer's"

"Could be worse" says the patient "I could have aids"
__________________
That were absolute diabolical
Shaggy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-11-10, 11:49 PM   #943
BJC
Houllier
 
BJC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 327
Horse
BJC is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-10, 04:12 PM   #944
Muddled
Meat Shield
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 25,665
Has anyone else noticed that 'dyslexia' is an anagram of 'hippomotamus'?
Muddled is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-10, 04:19 PM   #945
Icon
Beside the seaside...
 
Icon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 8,959
Quote:
Originally Posted by muddled View Post
has anyone else noticed that 'dyslexia' is an anagram of 'hippomotamus'?
ah !ah ah
Icon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-10, 09:25 PM   #946
Reaper
Jerry Sadowitz
 
Reaper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,547
Great to see the kids out in the snow, its getting close to 8 or 9 inches now.

Snows pretty deep as well.
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."


And like thatů he's gone
Reaper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-10, 10:12 PM   #947
Leyton388
aka liverpooltj
 
Leyton388's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 26,012
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reaper View Post
Great to see the kids out in the snow, its getting close to 8 or 9 inches now.

Snows pretty deep as well.
LOL put that on your facebook. i dare you
Leyton388 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-10, 10:33 PM   #948
Reaper
Jerry Sadowitz
 
Reaper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,547
I just saw a young ginger girl on a sledge.

She said, "Can you pull me?"

I said, "Probably, but I'd have to be seriously drunk".
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."


And like thatů he's gone
Reaper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-10, 03:50 PM   #949
BillobShaisley
Dalglish
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,545
What was the Frankie Boyle Harvey Price 'joke'?

Seems everyone has an opinion about it but nowhere else is reprinting it, so I'm guessing most people (like me) don't even know exactly what it was or how it was delivered.
BillobShaisley is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-10, 03:58 PM   #950
doogle
1500th Member
 
doogle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,975
Quote:
Originally Posted by BillobShaisley View Post
What was the Frankie Boyle Harvey Price 'joke'?

Seems everyone has an opinion about it but nowhere else is reprinting it, so I'm guessing most people (like me) don't even know exactly what it was or how it was delivered.
something to do about custody battle between jordan and peter andre and the loser was gutted because they had to look after him
__________________
RIP IRWT post/rant, best ever
doogle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-10, 03:59 PM   #951
Shaggy
Dressed up as Batman?
 
Shaggy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 132,061
I saw it and can't really remember

It started something like this: “Jordan and Peter Andre are still fighting each other over custody of Harvey. Eventually one will lose and will have to keep him.”

...and he continued saying something like the court will evaluate which one of the two is strongest so they can repel Harvey's muscular sexual assaults on Jordan....or something.
__________________
That were absolute diabolical
Shaggy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-10, 04:05 PM   #952
BillobShaisley
Dalglish
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,545
It seems to be the 2nd part everyone is getting upset about
BillobShaisley is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-10, 04:15 PM   #953
Shaggy
Dressed up as Batman?
 
Shaggy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 132,061
I wish I could remember it!

The implication was that Harvey is wild, untamed, impossibly strong and regularly fucks Jordan against her will.
__________________
That were absolute diabolical
Shaggy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-10, 04:18 PM   #954
Dan
Though this be madness, yet there is method in it
 
Dan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 13,197
I have a theory about the reason Jordan married a cage fighter - she needed a man strong enough to stop Harvey from fucking her
__________________
Contrary to popular belief, I have huge genitals.
Dan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-10, 04:21 PM   #955
Shaggy
Dressed up as Batman?
 
Shaggy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 132,061
There you go. Word for word. There was a bit more afterwards but that was the crux of it.
__________________
That were absolute diabolical
Shaggy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-10, 04:22 PM   #956
Dim Tim
Karl Pilkington
 
Dim Tim's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,489
I know it's wrong, but it's fucking hilarious!
Dim Tim is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-10, 07:27 PM   #957
Big-Red-Ed
Fagan
 
Big-Red-Ed's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,490
As if the Katie price joke was bad enough Frankie also joked about Jade Goodies fanny being like a canoe. Didn't know whether to finger her or row her. Jack was pleased that the cervical cancer tightened her up. (words to that effect)

One seriously bad dude.
Big-Red-Ed is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-10, 11:09 PM   #958
Shaggy
Dressed up as Batman?
 
Shaggy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 132,061
The gag about Susan Boyle saying she's never been kissed was funny though.

"She might never have been kissed, but I bet she's been fingered. She's from Glasgow! Three fingers. Thumb in the belly button - the old bowling grip."
__________________
That were absolute diabolical

Last edited by Shaggy; 11-12-10 at 12:09 AM. Reason: typo ffs
Shaggy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-12-10, 01:07 PM   #959
Drago
Hodgsoned
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,940
A woman is told she has only 24 hrs to live.
She tells her hubby & asks if they can make love one last time. Crying & upset he agrees & they have mind blowing sex.
After 12 hrs she asks again & he gives her the best oral she has ever had. With only 4 hrs left to live she begs for one last go."FUCK OFF" he said. "I'M NOT BEING FUNNY BUT I HAVE TO GET UP IN THE MORNING..YOU DON'T!!

------------------

My girlfriend told me I was a lying bastard today

















........So I slapped her with my 16 inch cock

-------------------------

What did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm?

I can't see anything with all this shit in here

------------------------------
My missus says she keeps dreaming about being abducted by aliens.

Hope she doesn't realise it's me who's been anal probing her when she's asleep.
-----------------------------------
Cheap food for the freezer. That's why Mum's go to Iceland.

Cheap young sluts who do anything in bed. That's why Dad's go to Thailand.
-----------------------------------
My youngest brother asked where the clitoris was, back or front?
So, I explained how it's different for every girl but generally in the frontal area.
He looked disappointed.
So naturally, I asked, "what's wrong".
He said: "I think I've been sucking on my girlfriend's hemorrhoid for months".
-----------------------------------
Drago is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-12-10, 05:15 PM   #960
Drago
Hodgsoned
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,940
I got a new deodorant stick today, the instructions said remove cap and push up bottom.

... I can hardly walk but when i fart the room smells lovely!!
Drago is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

  est1892 > General > Jokes, Links & Funnies

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 09:54 PM.


Our Current Balance versus Target. Please help us: (Donate)

Kindly Hosted By DigitalWales
Any posts remain the responsibility of the poster. Neither est1892, its Owners nor any company affiliated will be held responsible from any disputes arising from these posts. The views raised are not necessarily those held by the website or its owners.

 

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, vBulletin Solutions Inc.