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03-10-07, 03:13 PM
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#1 |
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Dalglish
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 4,803
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Funny Quiz Answers
QUIZMANIA (ITV)
Greg Scott: We're looking for an occupation beginning with 'T'. Contestant: Doctor. Scott: No, it's 'T'. 'T' for Tommy. 'T' for Tango. Contestant: Oh, right . . . (pause) . . . Doctor. DANNY KELLY SHOW (RADIO WM) Kelly: Which French Mediterranean town hosts a famous film festival every year? Contestant: I don't know, I need a clue. Kelly: OK. What do beans come in? Contestant: Cartons? BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2) Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is? Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point. Theakston: There's a clue in the title. Contestant: Leicester. BBC NORFOLK Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World? Contestant: I don't know. White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow? Contestant: Arm. White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...? Contestant: Strong. White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name? Contestant: Louis. White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World? Contestant: Frank Sinatra? LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS) Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy? Contestant: France. Trelinski: France is another country. Try again. Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm. Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon? Contestant: Sorry, I don't know. Trelinski: Just guess a country then. Contestant: Paris. UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2) Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'? Contestant: Homosexuals. Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you. THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2) Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: prison, or the Conservative Party? Contestant: The Conservative Party. BEACON RADIO (WOLVERHAMPTON) DJ Mark: For Pounds 10, what is the nationality of the Pope? Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish? THE WEAKEST LINK Anne Robinson: In traffic, what 'J' is where two roads meet? Contestant: Jool carriageway? UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name? Contestant: Goosey? GWR FM (Bristol) Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963? Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then. RTE RADIO 2FM (IRELAND) Presenter: What is the name of the long- running TV comedy show about pensioners: Last Of The ...? Caller: Mohicans. QUIZMANIA Greg Scott: We're looking for a word that goes in front of 'clock'. Contestant: Grandfather. Scott: Grandfather clock is already up there, say something else. Contestant: Panda. PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER) Phil: What's 11 squared? Contestant: I don't know. Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle. Contestant: Is it five? RICHARD AND JUDY Q: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman? A: Forrest Gump. RICHARD AND JUDY Leslie: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live? Contestant: Er . . . Leslie: He makes bread . . . Contestant: Er . . . Leslie: He makes cakes . . . Contestant: Kipling Street? MAGIC 52 (NORTHEAST ENGLAND) Presenter: In what year was President Kennedy assassinated? Contestant: Erm . . . Presenter: Well, let's put it this way - he didn't see 1964. Contestant: 1965? SIMPLY THE BEST (ITV) Phil Tufnell: How many Olympic Games have been held? Contestant: Six. Tufnell: Higher! Contestant: Five. FORT BOYARD (CHALLENGE TV) Jodie Marsh: Arrange these two groups of letters to form a word - CHED and PIT. Team: Chedpit. LINCS FM PHONE-IN Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world? Contestant: Barcelona. Presenter: I was really after the name of a country. Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain. RADIO 1 EARLY MORNING SHOW Presenter: How many toes would three people have in total? Contestant: 23. NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ (BBC RADIO NOTTINGHAM) Jeff Owen: In which country is Mount Everest? Contestant (long pause): Er, it's not in Scotland, is it? THE MICK GIRDLER SHOW (BBC RADIO SOLENT) Girdler: I'm looking for an island in the Atlantic whose name includes the letter 'e'. Contestant: Ghana. Girdler: No, listen. It's an island in the Atlantic Ocean. Contestant: New Zealand. NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1) Question: What is the world's largest continent? Contestant: The Pacific ROCK FM (PRESTON) Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo Da Vinci. Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit? THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV) Steve Le Fevre: What was signed to bring World War I to an end in 1918? Contestant: Magna Carta. JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC) O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry? Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... er ... er ... three? NATIONAL LOTTERY Eamonn Holmes: There are three states of matter: solid, liquid and what? Contestant: Jelly. RICHARD ALLINSON SHOW (RADIO 2) Allinson: What international brand shares its name with the Greek goddess of victory? Contestant (after long deliberation): Erm, Kellogg's? BLIND DATE (ITV) Girl: Name a book written by Jane Austen. Boy: Charlotte Bronte. CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL) Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna? Caller: Japan. Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again. Caller: Er ... Mexico? DOG EAT DOG (BBC1) Ulrika Jonsson: Who wrote Lord of the Rings? Contestant: Enid Blyton PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE) Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last? Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days. NATIONAL LOTTERY Eamonn Holmes: Dizzy Gillespie is famous for playing what? Contestant: Basketball. NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ Jeff Owen: Where did the D-Day landings take place? Contestant (after pause): Pearl Harbor? DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO) Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels? Contestant: Holland? Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet. Contestant: Iceland? Ireland? Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel? Contestant: No. PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR) Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible? Contestant: Er . . . Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . . Contestant: Blimey? Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . . Contestant: (Silence) Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . . Contestant: Walked? NATIONAL LOTTERY Dale Winton: Skegness is a seaside resort on the coast of which sea:a) Irish Sea, b) English Channel, c) North Sea? Contestant: Oh, I know that, you can start writing out the cheque now, Dale. It's on the east coast, so it must be the Irish Sea. THE VAULT Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time? Contestant: Nostalgia. LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB) Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes? Contestant: Jewish. Presenter: That's close enough. BREAKFAST SHOW, RADIO 1 Chris Moyles: Which 'S' is a kind of whale that can grow up to 80 tonnes? Contestant: Ummm . . . Moyles: It begins with 'S' and rhymes with 'perm'. Contestant: Shark. STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2) Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play? Contestant: Jesus. |
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03-10-07, 03:26 PM
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#2 | |
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Shankly
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,841
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 Some classics on there.Quote:
Was Captain Fog that contestant?  
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03-10-07, 03:39 PM
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#3 |
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Dressed up as Batman?
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 131,290
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I am absolutely roaring laughing at some of these.
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That were absolute diabolical |
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03-10-07, 04:19 PM
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#4 |
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Benitez
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 527
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really is incredible how stupid some people are
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in january we were doomed. in august we will rise from the ashes of shite and march on again |
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03-10-07, 05:27 PM
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#5 |
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Souness
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 42
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absolute quality mate, I was pi55ing myself reading those! there really are some imbicilles out there!
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Lurker Extraordinaire |
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03-10-07, 05:34 PM
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#6 |
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Evans
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 170
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If you've never heard "hold your plums" there's some crackers here.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/liverpool/fun/2...ms_index.shtml |
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04-10-07, 01:34 PM
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#7 |
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Benitez
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 990
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how thick can some people be
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04-10-07, 04:12 PM
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#8 |
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Dressed up as Batman?
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 131,290
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Never forget this classic on Family Fortunes..
Bygraves: Name something people take with them to the beach. Johnson: Turkey. Bygraves: The first thing you buy at a supermarket. Johnson: Turkey. Bygraves: A food often stuffed. Johnson: Turkey.
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That were absolute diabolical |
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05-10-07, 01:03 AM
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#9 |
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Fagan
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,720
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Those answers are really funny.
How daft are some people!
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Twin boys - now arriving late August 2008. Its gonna be Fernando and Gerrard if I get my way! 
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05-10-07, 12:07 PM
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#10 |
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Extremely tubby
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,227
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FUCK OFF HICKS AND GILLETT WE DON'T WANT YOU. |
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05-10-07, 12:08 PM
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#11 | |
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Extremely tubby
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,227
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Quote:
Dennis: We asked 100 people to name something green. Contestant: My jumper
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FUCK OFF HICKS AND GILLETT WE DON'T WANT YOU. |
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05-10-07, 01:00 PM
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#12 |
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Fagan
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,376
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Name a furry animal :
A Bee |
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09-03-15, 07:18 PM
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#13 |
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Paisley
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 25,053
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Two Tribes
Q) Danny John Jules played The Cat in which TV Show A) Bagpuss |
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09-03-15, 07:34 PM
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#14 |
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Shankly
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 9,463
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Oh I say his vision there was lovely |
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09-03-15, 07:42 PM
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#15 | |
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Expect the Wurst
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 5,082
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Quote:
Great bump. What was Ghandi's first name? Goosey? 
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09-03-15, 10:23 PM
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#16 | |
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Donald Buzzworth
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 44,389
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Quote:
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Create a memory |
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13-03-15, 12:02 AM
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#17 |
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El Pistolero
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 35,786
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"Its not about the long ball or the short ball, its about the right ball." Bob Paisley |
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13-03-15, 08:25 AM
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#18 |
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Big Girl's Blouse
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 33,598
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13-03-15, 08:35 AM
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#19 |
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Shankly
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 7,376
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13-03-15, 06:48 PM
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#20 |
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Takin' Her Easy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 35,516
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Like blood on iron |
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24-06-15, 12:14 PM
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#21 |
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Paisley
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 11,705
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[QUOTE]On holiday a few years back, I took part in a quiz and managed to reach the final only to lose out after what I consider to this day, to be a correct answer. The question asked 'What 'C' would you associate Jeremy Clarkson with?' to which I confidently replied 'cunt'. Not only was I told the answer was incorrect, but I was asked by the holiday rep to leave the premises immediately! Has anyone else experienced such appalling treatment whilst holidaying with one's family?
Noel, Leeds/[QUOTE]
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"But thus I counsel you, my friends: Mistrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful. They are people of a low sort and stock; the hangmen and the bloodhound look out of their faces. Mistrust all who talk much of their justice!" |
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24-06-15, 10:49 PM
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#22 |
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Benitez
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 990
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I was in a quiz with my wife and there was a question about the film The Dirty Dozen and she said is that the one with seven of them in it!
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14-08-15, 06:15 PM
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#23 |
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Paisley
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 25,053
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I'm convinced the people on this Two Tribes are forced to appear.
They can't be applying because they think they know stuff. |
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20-08-15, 10:44 AM
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#24 |
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Paisley
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 19,918
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This is fictitious and from a TV show, but i nearly wet myself when first seeing it on Phoenix Nights:
Ray Von/The Quiz Ninja: And the answer is, the Shroud of Turin. Phoenix Nights Quiz Team: Ah, sh*t. Kenny Junior: What did we put ? Kenny Senior: Lisa Stansfield 
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Sack swinging like Dub-D40 on a door hinge |
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24-11-15, 07:18 PM
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#25 |
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Paisley
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 25,053
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On Eggheads and actually one of the Eggheads not a contestant.
And I don't care they might not like football they are smug buggers so I'm going to mock. I missed the exact questions but based on the answer... Who took over from Alex Ferguson as manager of Manchester United. He gave the answer Tommy Docherty. |
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24-11-15, 08:24 PM
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#26 |
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The Wisp
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 20,827
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Wow, absolutely mental.
Thanks for letting us know.
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Hello mert. |
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24-11-15, 08:26 PM
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#27 |
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Paisley
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 25,053
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Anytime. Its a service I like to provide. I would have created a new thread if it was that gobshite CJ getting it wrong.
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24-11-15, 09:20 PM
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#28 | |
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Ant Pisser
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 66,918
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Quote:
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Oh I don't know. |
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24-11-15, 09:33 PM
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#29 | |
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Passion for fire alarms or extinguishers?
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 34,982
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Quote:
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i own everton fans on the internet....that's what i do |
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16-07-16, 02:44 AM
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#30 |
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Befuddled
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 3,479
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Last year while in Lanzarote myself and the family won a pub quiz. I was very happy and stood up and gave a speech, promising to return and compete again.
We returned to Lanzarote this year but my family refused to go to the quiz. Apparently I'm embarrassing.
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I love Sarah |
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16-07-16, 08:55 AM
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#31 |
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Dalglish
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,500
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Great story
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16-07-16, 12:08 PM
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#32 | |
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Shooterista
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 32,026
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Quote:
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16-07-16, 04:00 PM
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#33 | |
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Dalglish
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2,477
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Quote:
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SakhoPotatoes
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16-07-16, 04:32 PM
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#34 |
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Dan Ashcroft
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 52,026
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wtf
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16-07-16, 05:22 PM
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#35 |
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Paisley
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 25,053
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03-09-16, 06:33 PM
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#36 |
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Paisley
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 25,053
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Pointless Celebrities: An element in the periodic table beginning with a letter in the second half of the alphabet
Arlene Phillips: A Flame (aflame? Not suite sure what hideously wrong answer on multiple levels she was trying to give)) |
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03-01-17, 08:06 PM
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#37 |
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Paisley
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 25,053
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Have we all seen this doing the rounds from Pointless yesterday?
http://metro.co.uk/video/pointless-c...riend-1385173/ |
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07-01-17, 12:23 AM
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#38 |
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Hip Flask Hater
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,175
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Yet another
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07-01-17, 09:10 PM
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#39 | |
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George Soros
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 14,259
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Quote:
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Cheers Subby MetalliGear Neo Qube : Ryzen 3600 : Gigabyte x570 Aorus Elite : 32GB Dominator 3600Mhz : Sabrent Gen 4 NVME SSD : Sapphire 5600XT : MasterLiquid 360 : 850w G2 : CableMod custom cables : Win 10 |
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07-01-17, 09:23 PM
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#40 | |
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Paisley
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 11,697
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Quote:
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Experimental music, Metropolitan foodstuffs, Mexican wrestler art, London suburbia, wry whimsy |
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