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18-08-08, 02:10 PM
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#41 |
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Jerry Sadowitz
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
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What's the quietest album in the world?
Stephen Hawking unplugged.
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"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost. Justice urged on my high artificer; My maker was divine authority, The highest wisdom, and the primal love. Before me nothing but eternal things were made, And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." |
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18-08-08, 02:11 PM
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#42 |
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Jerry Sadowitz
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
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What's black and blue and smells of spunk?
A rape victim.
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"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost. Justice urged on my high artificer; My maker was divine authority, The highest wisdom, and the primal love. Before me nothing but eternal things were made, And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." |
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18-08-08, 02:14 PM
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#43 |
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Jerry Sadowitz
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
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What do you call a buck toothed anorexic?
A Crowbar
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost. Justice urged on my high artificer; My maker was divine authority, The highest wisdom, and the primal love. Before me nothing but eternal things were made, And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." |
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18-08-08, 02:15 PM
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#44 |
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Jerry Sadowitz
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
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There's something strange about this olympics...
It said in the paper that Michael Phelps had won the most gold medals anyone had ever won, with 8 gold medals. Surely the guy who won all China's medals has won more?
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost. Justice urged on my high artificer; My maker was divine authority, The highest wisdom, and the primal love. Before me nothing but eternal things were made, And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." |
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18-08-08, 02:17 PM
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#45 |
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Jerry Sadowitz
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
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Bought my new girlfriend a new mobile today coz she has been whinging at me
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost. Justice urged on my high artificer; My maker was divine authority, The highest wisdom, and the primal love. Before me nothing but eternal things were made, And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." |
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18-08-08, 02:36 PM
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#46 |
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Fagan
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,985
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Whats the best thing about shaggin a transvestite ?
reaching round the front and thinking its gone all the way through 
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Keep this quiet  if you carefully grind off the edges of a 50p coin you can use it as a 10p |
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18-08-08, 02:38 PM
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#47 |
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Jerry Sadowitz
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
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__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost. Justice urged on my high artificer; My maker was divine authority, The highest wisdom, and the primal love. Before me nothing but eternal things were made, And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." |
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18-08-08, 02:39 PM
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#48 |
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Jerry Sadowitz
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
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Why are women like prawns?
Cos their heads are full of shit but the pink bits taste nice.
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost. Justice urged on my high artificer; My maker was divine authority, The highest wisdom, and the primal love. Before me nothing but eternal things were made, And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." |
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18-08-08, 02:42 PM
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#49 |
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Jerry Sadowitz
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
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I made a list of my old girlfriends earlier...
Edna 93, Beatrice 86, Ethel 88.
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost. Justice urged on my high artificer; My maker was divine authority, The highest wisdom, and the primal love. Before me nothing but eternal things were made, And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." |
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18-08-08, 02:47 PM
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#50 |
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Jerry Sadowitz
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
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Lass down the pub told me to go fuck myself last night..
If I could do that I wouldnt have been stickin my hand up her skirt in the first place FFS
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost. Justice urged on my high artificer; My maker was divine authority, The highest wisdom, and the primal love. Before me nothing but eternal things were made, And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." |
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18-08-08, 02:48 PM
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#51 |
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Jerry Sadowitz
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
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50% of people believe sex is "the connecting of two people's souls through two people's bodies, as one."
The other 50% are men.
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost. Justice urged on my high artificer; My maker was divine authority, The highest wisdom, and the primal love. Before me nothing but eternal things were made, And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." |
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18-08-08, 02:48 PM
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#52 |
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Fagan
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,985
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" Vight, today vee shall have a vace. Zee first person back vill be shot for being too fast, the last person back vill be shot for being too slow.
First two Jews off you go " " Today vee shall have a change of unterpants. Hut A vill change vith Hut B .... "
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Keep this quiet if you carefully grind off the edges of a 50p coin you can use it as a 10p |
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18-08-08, 02:49 PM
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#53 |
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Jerry Sadowitz
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock
Who's there? Michael J Fox
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost. Justice urged on my high artificer; My maker was divine authority, The highest wisdom, and the primal love. Before me nothing but eternal things were made, And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." |
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18-08-08, 02:51 PM
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#54 |
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Fagan
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,985
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__________________
Keep this quiet if you carefully grind off the edges of a 50p coin you can use it as a 10p |
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18-08-08, 02:56 PM
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#55 | |
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Takin' Her Easy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 35,516
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Quote:
(If you were offended by this post you shouldn't have fucking well read it you daft cunt) 
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Like blood on iron |
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18-08-08, 02:59 PM
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#56 |
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Jerry Sadowitz
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
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__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost. Justice urged on my high artificer; My maker was divine authority, The highest wisdom, and the primal love. Before me nothing but eternal things were made, And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." |
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18-08-08, 03:02 PM
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#57 |
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Takin' Her Easy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 35,516
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haha
I swear if you watch the doovde in slo mo Smokey's toe is NOT over the line 
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Like blood on iron |
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18-08-08, 03:03 PM
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#58 |
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Jerry Sadowitz
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
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When I was naughty at school, the headmaster used to give me 'six of the best'.
Now I'm grown up I bet I could take the other 2 inches.
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost. Justice urged on my high artificer; My maker was divine authority, The highest wisdom, and the primal love. Before me nothing but eternal things were made, And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." |
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18-08-08, 03:04 PM
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#59 | |
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Jerry Sadowitz
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
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Quote:
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost. Justice urged on my high artificer; My maker was divine authority, The highest wisdom, and the primal love. Before me nothing but eternal things were made, And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." |
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18-08-08, 03:05 PM
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#60 |
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Fagan
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,985
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Two pregnant woman are sitting together knitting baby clothes. The first woman says, "I hope mine is a boy because ive only got blue wool." The second woman says, "I hope mine is a spastic because ive fucked the arms up."
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Keep this quiet if you carefully grind off the edges of a 50p coin you can use it as a 10p |
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18-08-08, 03:05 PM
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#61 |
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Jerry Sadowitz
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
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Am I alone in spending an inordinate amount of time wondering just how exactly Abu Hamza wipes his arse?
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost. Justice urged on my high artificer; My maker was divine authority, The highest wisdom, and the primal love. Before me nothing but eternal things were made, And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." |
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18-08-08, 03:07 PM
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#62 |
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Jerry Sadowitz
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
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Apparently, the London Olympics are supposed to restore English national pride;
 FFS for 9.2 billion pounds, we could have written "fuck off Germany" onto the moon!
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost. Justice urged on my high artificer; My maker was divine authority, The highest wisdom, and the primal love. Before me nothing but eternal things were made, And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." |
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18-08-08, 03:09 PM
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#63 |
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Jerry Sadowitz
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
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Id like to quash a nasty rumour that has been doing the rounds once and for all
Members have been saying that Tufty loves cock sandwiches. This is totally untrue, I know for a fact he hates bread.
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost. Justice urged on my high artificer; My maker was divine authority, The highest wisdom, and the primal love. Before me nothing but eternal things were made, And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." |
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18-08-08, 03:11 PM
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#64 |
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Fagan
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,985
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a woman is walking down a dark alley way when a big black man jumps out of the shadows with his cock in his hand
" I'm gonna shag the arse off you lady " " thank fuck for that, I thought you were going to hit me over the fuckin head with it "
__________________
Keep this quiet if you carefully grind off the edges of a 50p coin you can use it as a 10p |
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18-08-08, 03:12 PM
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#65 |
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Dalglish
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,561
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Whats the worst thing about eating bald pussy?
Putting the diaper back on. ----------------------------------------------- How do you make the little girl cry twice? Wipe the blood on her teddy bear. --------------------------------------------- Whats the difference between a black man and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family. -------------------------------------------- Whats the difference between period blood and sand? You cant gargle sand.
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"These stories have as much relation to the truth as an egg to a chestnut." - Racing Santander President Francisco Pernia |
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18-08-08, 03:18 PM
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#66 |
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George Soros
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 14,259
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I kow it's getting bad when I''m getting
Access to http://www.est1892.co.uk/forums/show...t=53677&page=2 has been blocked by WebMarshal™ WARNING - based on a content scan of this URL, it is suspected this site may contain offensive material. Your company's web gateway has been configured to control access to this site. Contact your local I.T. Department or System Administrator if you need access for business purposes. Note: Information about this download has been recorded. ...from my work internet access
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Cheers Subby MetalliGear Neo Qube : Ryzen 3600 : Gigabyte x570 Aorus Elite : 32GB Dominator 3600Mhz : Sabrent Gen 4 NVME SSD : Sapphire 5600XT : MasterLiquid 360 : 850w G2 : CableMod custom cables : Win 10 |
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18-08-08, 03:18 PM
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#67 |
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Jerry Sadowitz
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
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I went to the travel agent the other day for some advice on a holiday and told him I am afraid of flying because there might be a bomb on the plane.
He told me the chances of a bomb being on a plane are over a million to one. I told him it was still too big a risk for me. He advised me to take a bomb of my own. When I asked, "what the fuck for?" he told me that the chances of two bombs being on the same plane are TWENTY million to one!
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost. Justice urged on my high artificer; My maker was divine authority, The highest wisdom, and the primal love. Before me nothing but eternal things were made, And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." |
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18-08-08, 03:20 PM
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#68 |
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Jerry Sadowitz
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
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Van der Merwe had never been out of South Africa before and was visiting Bondi Beach, Australia.
He spotted a long line of black dots out in the water and said to an Aussie, who was sitting close by, "What are all those little black things out there?" "They're buoys," said the Aussie. "Boys!" replied Van der Merwe. "What are they doing out there?" "Holding up the shark nets," the Aussie told him. "Fucking great country this!" said the South African, deeply impressed. "We'd never get away with that at home!"
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost. Justice urged on my high artificer; My maker was divine authority, The highest wisdom, and the primal love. Before me nothing but eternal things were made, And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." |
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18-08-08, 03:21 PM
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#69 |
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Jerry Sadowitz
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
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We've got a stunning blonde started at our office and I heard rumours she wanted to give me one.
Unfortunately, it was out of ten. 
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost. Justice urged on my high artificer; My maker was divine authority, The highest wisdom, and the primal love. Before me nothing but eternal things were made, And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." |
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18-08-08, 03:29 PM
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#70 | |
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Out Patient
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 3,140
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Quote:
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18-08-08, 04:45 PM
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#71 |
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Fagan
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,985
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Linford Christie walks into a golf club
The man on reception, looking embarrassed, says " I'm very sorry but we don't allow black men here, theres another club ten minutes down the road that may be able to help " " but I'm Linford Christie ! " " ok, three minutes down the road, now fuck off "
__________________
Keep this quiet if you carefully grind off the edges of a 50p coin you can use it as a 10p |
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18-08-08, 08:15 PM
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#72 |
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Fagan
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,729
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Tim, Jack & Rupert chatting. Tim says, "I'll never understand women, my wife's bought a car & she can't drive."
Jock says, "I know what you mean, my wife's gone on a diet & she's not even fat." Rupert says, "That's nothing, my wife's taken 30 condoms to Benidorm & she hasn't even got a cock!" |
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18-08-08, 08:26 PM
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#73 |
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Fagan
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,729
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Hang on, I think I might have read that one on here anyway.
 I'll try again... A man buys wife a car for her birthday "I don't like it she says, I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 3 seconds." He returns the car and comes back with some bathroom scales "Here, stand on that you fat cunt!" |
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18-08-08, 10:08 PM
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#74 |
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Dalglish
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,476
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Did you hear the one about the I'm a little teapot who won the disco dancing competition.
He only crossed the floor to buy a bag of crisps. |
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18-08-08, 10:10 PM
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#75 |
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Hodgsoned
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 10,707
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Did you hear the one about the bus full of spastics that went over a cliff???
It took firemen 3 hours to dig the bus out of the wreckage. |
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18-08-08, 10:11 PM
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#76 |
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Hodgsoned
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 10,707
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Why is there cotton in medicine bottles.
To remind black fellas what they did before they became drug dealers. |
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18-08-08, 11:03 PM
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#77 |
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Quite Contrary
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 10,559
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oh man, im a sick sick person for laughing at these!
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 RAFA |
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18-08-08, 11:16 PM
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#78 | |
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Paisley
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 19,911
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Quote:
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Sack swinging like Dub-D40 on a door hinge |
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18-08-08, 11:22 PM
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#79 |
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Dressed up as Batman?
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 131,273
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<image removed>
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Fucking chances, goals Last edited by Paul.S; 18-03-15 at 07:58 PM. Reason: Violation of Google AdSense T&C's |
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18-08-08, 11:22 PM
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#80 |
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Fagan
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,237
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I was in Poland a couple of years back traveling with a local to a sales meeting. He turned around to me and said "That's where Aushwitz concentration camp was"
"Really" I said. "Yes my father died there during the war!" Fuck, what do you say to that? "I'm sorry" "It was his own fault" "Heh?" "He got pissed one night and fell off the machine gun tower" |
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