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Old 29-05-10, 09:14 AM   #841
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Does anyone fancy a night out in Shipley, West Yorks tonight? I hear there's a bit of fanny floating about!
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Old 01-06-10, 08:21 AM   #842
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I Fostered a Manc kid last week. Hit the fucker smack in the nose with all 4 cans.
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Old 02-06-10, 12:12 AM   #843
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I accepted this blokes offer to get in his car and see his puppies. I ended up being kidnapped and raped repeatedly.





Schoolboy error.
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Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
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Old 02-06-10, 12:30 AM   #844
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Reaper's back!
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Old 03-06-10, 03:30 PM   #845
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derrick birds rampage was triggered by bein left out the England squad. He felt the need to demonstrate his shots on target ratio
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Old 03-06-10, 08:22 PM   #846
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I hear Gary Coleman was at deaths door for a while. Poor little bastard couldnt reach the door handle......
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Old 05-06-10, 12:51 AM   #847
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Robert de Nero - Taxi Driver 1976:
3 oscars
2 Emmys.

Derek Bird - Taxi Driver 2010:
2 Oscars
3 Tonys
2 Emmys
1 Gary
2 Janes
1 Mark
1 Billy
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Last edited by kingfunk; 05-06-10 at 12:53 AM.
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Old 05-06-10, 03:24 AM   #848
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kingfunk View Post
Robert de Nero - Taxi Driver 1976:
3 oscars
2 Emmys.

Derek Bird - Taxi Driver 2010:
2 Oscars
3 Tonys
2 Emmys
1 Gary
2 Janes
1 Mark
1 Billy
I know I shouldn't laugh but that is pretty clever.
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Old 07-06-10, 11:14 PM   #849
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As its Fathers day very soon I thought Id share this thought with you all


When it comes down to it Fathers Day is really just to thank Dad for nailing your mother.





Oh and Mothers Day is to thank Mum for not swallowing you.
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"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
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Old 11-06-10, 05:54 PM   #850
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kingfunk View Post
Robert de Nero - Taxi Driver 1976:
3 oscars
2 Emmys.

Derek Bird - Taxi Driver 2010:
2 Oscars
3 Tonys
2 Emmys
1 Gary
2 Janes
1 Mark
1 Billy


It is funny.. and at level of bad taste to my liking.
But to be a pedant... Taxi driver was nominated for four Oscars and didn't win, and emmy's are TV awards...

But as long as you only tell it to people you aren't arseholes like me then you'll get the appropriate response.
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Old 11-06-10, 06:06 PM   #851
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Reaper, that's just poor
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Old 15-06-10, 09:58 PM   #852
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Today in Africa someone dies every 3 seconds.






Just think, by the 90th minute that's 1800 fewer Vuvuzelas.
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"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
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Old 15-06-10, 10:33 PM   #853
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What's got 3 teeth and 20 Legs?









The methadone queue
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Old 16-06-10, 07:46 AM   #854
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Two chinese people had an albino baby last week.



Turns out, two Wongs do make a white
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"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
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Old 16-06-10, 02:53 PM   #855
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Not my joke but here it goes.

I can't wait to watch Nigeria play Germany. The abbreviated score card will be interesting to see in the top left corner. Nig-Ger
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Old 17-06-10, 07:07 AM   #856
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fernandinho View Post
Not my joke but here it goes.

I can't wait to watch Nigeria play Germany. The abbreviated score card will be interesting to see in the top left corner. Nig-Ger
TV companies have totally shit out on this. Nigeria have now become NGR for some reason yet Uruguay remain URU, Algeria remain ALG, Spain are SPA etc. They have even changed Cameroon(previously CAM) to CMN so they can't be accused of singling out the Nigerian abbreviation.
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Old 17-06-10, 09:13 AM   #857
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haha fair enough but, media would take any chance to bash when it comes to racism
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Old 17-06-10, 09:57 AM   #858
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Reaper View Post
Two chinese people had an albino baby last week.



Turns out, two Wongs do make a white
not even a bad / poor taste joke and still was pissing myself laughing.
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Old 25-06-10, 07:54 PM   #859
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Old 26-06-10, 04:57 AM   #860
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I got all excited with the possibility of a new dirty joke but it's fucking spam!
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Old 26-06-10, 12:07 PM   #861
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cialis online removed during

Spam Deleted...
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Old 26-06-10, 12:29 PM   #862
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Great post, welcome to the site mates.
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I was playing doctors and nurses with my female cousin. I was about 6 or 7, and we were inserting little toy stuffs in our bum holes. Does it count as snogging?
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Old 26-06-10, 12:44 PM   #863
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Old 26-06-10, 01:25 PM   #864
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Oh dear.
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Old 27-06-10, 10:20 PM   #865
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That rug really tied the room together.
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Old 09-07-10, 01:13 PM   #866
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Statistics show that 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape
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Old 09-07-10, 03:21 PM   #867
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Man City have tabled an official bid of 45m for Raoul Moat. They have no idea who he is but they`ve heard everyone is after him....
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Old 20-07-10, 07:22 AM   #868
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Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim Terrorists are so quick to commit suicide. Lets have a look at the evidence:

- No Christmas
- No Television
- No nude women
- No football
- No beer
- No pork chops
- No hotdogs
- No Burgers
- No bacon
- Rags for clothes
- Towels for hats
- Constant wailing from some cunt in a tower
- More than 1 wife
- More than 1 mother in law
- You can't shave
- Your wife(s) can't shave
- You cant wash off the smell of donkey
- You wipe your arse with your hand
- You cook over burning camel shit
- Your wife is picked for you by someone else
- Your wife smells worse than your donkey
Then they tell you "it gets better when you die".......No shit sherlock! Its not like it can fucking get any worse!
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Old 20-07-10, 10:47 AM   #869
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What's the difference between peanut-butter and jam?

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Old 20-07-10, 04:10 PM   #870
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greenbloodred View Post
Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim Terrorists are so quick to commit suicide. Lets have a look at the evidence:

- No Christmas
- No Television
- No nude women
- No football
- No beer
- No pork chops
- No hotdogs
- No Burgers
- No bacon
- Rags for clothes
- Towels for hats
- Constant wailing from some cunt in a tower
- More than 1 wife
- More than 1 mother in law
- You can't shave
- Your wife(s) can't shave
- You cant wash off the smell of donkey
- You wipe your arse with your hand
- You cook over burning camel shit
- Your wife is picked for you by someone else
- Your wife smells worse than your donkey
Then they tell you "it gets better when you die".......No shit sherlock! Its not like it can fucking get any worse!
Hmmm, I'm not one to go looking for things to be deleted but that's pretty unacceptable in my opinion.
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Old 20-07-10, 10:29 PM   #871
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Darkon View Post
What's the difference between peanut-butter and jam?

quality mate.
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Old 20-07-10, 10:29 PM   #872
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greenbloodred View Post
Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim Terrorists are so quick to commit suicide. Lets have a look at the evidence:

- No Christmas
- No Television
- No nude women
- No football
- No beer
- No pork chops
- No hotdogs
- No Burgers
- No bacon
- Rags for clothes
- Towels for hats
- Constant wailing from some cunt in a tower
- More than 1 wife
- More than 1 mother in law
- You can't shave
- Your wife(s) can't shave
- You cant wash off the smell of donkey
- You wipe your arse with your hand
- You cook over burning camel shit
- Your wife is picked for you by someone else
- Your wife smells worse than your donkey
Then they tell you "it gets better when you die".......No shit sherlock! Its not like it can fucking get any worse!
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Old 20-07-10, 10:31 PM   #873
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrono View Post
Hmmm, I'm not one to go looking for things to be deleted but that's pretty unacceptable in my opinion.
That's why it's in this thread. It's bad taste and no doubt offensive but a joke. However feel free to report it and request that it be removed
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Old 20-07-10, 10:32 PM   #874
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrono View Post
Hmmm, I'm not one to go looking for things to be deleted but that's pretty unacceptable in my opinion.
Unacceptably crap, yes.
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Old 22-07-10, 03:58 PM   #875
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greenbloodred View Post
That's why it's in this thread. It's bad taste and no doubt offensive but a joke. However feel free to report it and request that it be removed
I'm not someone who goes around reporting posts but for the record the joke was unfunny and extremely racist.

As you were...
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Old 22-07-10, 05:41 PM   #876
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrono View Post
I'm not someone who goes around reporting posts but for the record the joke was unfunny and extremely racist.

As you were...
Its no more racist than most of the jokes about scousers.

My gran died of Hypothermia but i dont get on my high horse about it...
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Old 22-07-10, 05:56 PM   #877
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 5europeancups View Post
Its no more racist than most of the jokes about scousers.

My gran died of Hypothermia but i dont get on my high horse about it...
If you think it's the same as a joke about scousers then good for you.

I'm not my high horse I just think labelling Muslims in this way isn't funny and just plain racist. It's my opinion of course.

You will also see I defended this thread many many times even in cases like your own it was personal to me but I think it being bad taste doesn't mean that you can just excuse anything.

Last edited by Chrono; 22-07-10 at 06:00 PM.
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Old 23-07-10, 06:35 AM   #878
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrono View Post
If you think it's the same as a joke about scousers then good for you.

I'm not my high horse I just think labelling Muslims in this way isn't funny and just plain racist. It's my opinion of course.

You will also see I defended this thread many many times even in cases like your own it was personal to me but I think it being bad taste doesn't mean that you can just excuse anything.
the joke was in bad taste.

that is exactly the point of this thread. Its here to shock people. Its not going to provide material that you can use at a family get together like a christening or barmitzvah or whatever arabs do...

Sometimes you laugh and feel guilty, other times you feel uncomfortable, but you dont need to share your feeling about it in the thread, just walk away.
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Old 25-07-10, 06:23 PM   #879
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Alex Higgins is due to be buried in a peaceful corner of a cemetery, with a Chinese fella to one side, a Jamaican on the other and in front of him a Pakistani.

A family spokesman has said he's completely snookered behind the yellow, black and brown.

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Old 25-07-10, 06:39 PM   #880
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Woke me up that one this morning.
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