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Old 05-07-20, 10:30 PM   #8681
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Chips might be my favourite type of goal. Love em.

https://twitter.com/PremierSportsTV/...80037035106307
Chips? No way. The choice of the self-regarding effete

It's the on the floor, or just about, thunderbolt. Miles Miles out. What every kid dreams of and when it happens it disrupts the game. Row Z or legend in your own daydreams.
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Old 05-07-20, 10:35 PM   #8682
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Chips? No way. The choice of the self-regarding effete

It's the on the floor, or just about, thunderbolt. Miles Miles out. What every kid dreams of and when it happens it disrupts the game. Row Z or legend in your own daydreams.
Top corner underside of the bar
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Old 05-07-20, 11:20 PM   #8683
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Originally Posted by Saveloy View Post
Chips? No way. The choice of the self-regarding effete

It's the on the floor, or just about, thunderbolt. Miles Miles out. What every kid dreams of and when it happens it disrupts the game. Row Z or legend in your own daydreams.
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Old 06-07-20, 02:51 PM   #8684
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Originally Posted by Saveloy View Post
Chips? No way. The choice of the self-regarding effete

It's the on the floor, or just about, thunderbolt. Miles Miles out. What every kid dreams of and when it happens it disrupts the game. Row Z or legend in your own daydreams.
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Old 07-07-20, 06:37 PM   #8685
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Nice tap in from Zaha
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Old 08-07-20, 09:27 AM   #8686
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Chelsea spunking money - or planning to - all over the place

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Old 08-07-20, 09:54 AM   #8687
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Appears 5 subs are with us for next season too
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Old 08-07-20, 12:40 PM   #8688
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Chelsea spunking money - or planning to - all over the place

https://twitter.com/JamesNursey/stat...09232061906944
They are leading the Havertz chase as well......Roman is going all 2004 again
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Old 08-07-20, 01:09 PM   #8689
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Appears 5 subs are with us for next season too
I've not seen this yet, but I would imagine if they do that for one (whole) season then it'll be here for good...
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Old 08-07-20, 01:21 PM   #8690
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Chelsea spunking money - or planning to - all over the place

https://twitter.com/JamesNursey/stat...09232061906944
If FFP rules are being temporarily relaxed, I can see how the Russian's interest in Chelsea might be revived.
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Old 08-07-20, 01:25 PM   #8691
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It's not that it's been relaxed has it? Just now calculated over 2020 and 2021, so if they spend big this year they still have to (theoretically) rein it in next year

And it's off a relatively lower revenue base for two years as well, given the lack of matchday revenue for the last quarter of the season
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Old 08-07-20, 05:34 PM   #8692
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If FFP rules are being temporarily relaxed, I can see how the Russian's interest in Chelsea might be revived.
Nail on the head and I wonder if City, PSG and other oligarchic clubs follow suit......Geordies
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Old 08-07-20, 05:42 PM   #8693
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Wouldn't it be more to do with their transfer ban?

The money saved from that window essentially gives them a bumper wallet this time
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Old 08-07-20, 07:32 PM   #8694
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Wouldn't it be more to do with their transfer ban?

The money saved from that window essentially gives them a bumper wallet this time
That is a myth, they still bought Kovacic, Pulisic and Ziyech in that time. Relaxed FFP means Roman can pump in cash, freshen up the squad and then follow the rules again. I suspect Lampard won’t last long either - saw the he is after Naglesmann
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Old 09-07-20, 05:41 AM   #8695
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That is a myth, they still bought Kovacic, Pulisic and Ziyech in that time. Relaxed FFP means Roman can pump in cash, freshen up the squad and then follow the rules again. I suspect Lampard won’t last long either - saw the he is after Naglesmann
They also had their Hazard cash from last season right? 85m quid or so
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Old 09-07-20, 10:30 AM   #8696
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Decent effort from Rabiot.

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Old 09-07-20, 02:26 PM   #8697
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World's gone mad.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/53226659

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Why the most interesting clubs in the USA do not really exist
By Jon Arnold


BBC Sport

The most interesting football clubs in the United States will not be involved in the MLS is Back tournament this month and they will not take part in the NWSL Challenge Cup. In fact, they have not missed a single fixture even as the rest of the country does its best to cope with the coronavirus pandemic. That is because the most interesting and fun football clubs in the country do not actually exist.

At least, not in the traditional sense of actually signing players, sending them out on to the pitch and playing football.

The United States has seen a spate of faux football clubs pop up since Asbury Park FC's "founding" in 2014, teams that have elaborate backstories, put out press releases, release stadium renderings and sell merchandise but are not actually represented by 11 players on the field.

Nor do they plan to be.

The fake clubs, tongue planted firmly in cheek, draw on local references, create in-jokes and drum up "rivalries" with other non-existent clubs. In the process, they've become almost as relevant as the country's real-life teams.

"Quite frankly, the story of American soccer is people trying to create something that is not there," said Shawn Francis, who started New Jersey club Asbury Park with his friend, guitarist Ian Perkins. "We're playing catch-up with this game, even though there is a history of soccer going back to the early part of the 20th century here the reality is we're trying to create our own little world because everyone else is so far ahead of us in terms of having older, longer-established clubs, longer-established leagues, cultures and traditions around the game."

In plenty of cities, that means MLS - the country's top division - just is not cool yet. Asbury Park bleeds cool, and you just have to look at their new merchandise (this season is all about indoor football, thanks to the Covid-19 pandemic) or see who has rocked their gear to notice.

MLS marketing teams dream of a list like legendary actor Danny DeVito, Stranger Things star Gaten Matarazzo and Bad Religion guitarist Brian Baker being spotted in their gear, and that's before current and former United States internationals like Alejandro Bedoya, Sacha Kljestan and Freddy Adu get involved.

Francis and Perkins leveraged their contacts from years working in soccer and music to get the brand out. It has worked as Asbury Park merchandise has become a must-have for those in the know in the soccer world, the New Jersey music scene or just people who are proud to be from a state underrepresented in mainstream American sports.

"We really like to align ourselves with Jersey because there's no-one else flying the flag, no-one else claiming it," Francis said. "The great thing about it is it's the one sports team you'll never get in an argument with anyone about."

That is, unless you get too deep into the fake backstories of the teams.

"People fell in love with a fake soccer club to the point where they were writing their own history, saying things like, 'Hey, my grandpa was there for the championship in 1962 when we won the cup in stoppage time,'" said Andy Munoz, a Utah native who launched Saltair FC this year and has seen the local community latch on to the idea.

Munoz discovered Asbury Park last year but wanted something that would resonate with the Salt Lake City community. He thought of Saltair, an amusement park that was a "historic, mythic" landmark, especially since the first version burned down in an incident now commemorated on Saltair's crest.

Munoz initially hired a designer to work up logos but did not like the results and now does the designs himself despite having no experience.

"I wish I could credit a design team because maybe it would make us a little more legitimate," Munoz said with a laugh.

Not too legitimate, of course, since it is a fake soccer team.

There was a bit of confusion when he first launched the project, with players wanting to sign on and local news outlets reaching out to try to cover matches. That confusion is set to increase when Saltair soon reveals its "stadium designs", which an architecture student approached Munoz about doing as a final project.

Francis and Asbury Park also have a "stadium plan", with the way renderings are received among soccer fans another element of supporter culture the club can embrace.

"I think the first thing we ever really did was put out a press release about putting a stadium on top of Convention Hall, which is this grand old iconic building on the Jersey Shore," Francis said.

Convention Hall on Jersey Shore with football pitch design on top
The Convention Hall was opener in 1925 - without a football stadium on its roof

"We paid an architecture student in Sri Lanka $50 (£41) to make some renderings because Ian and I, being big soccer fans, knew stadium renderings were one of those things fans get all excited about and it always generates a buzz."

As Munoz starts to get some of that same type of buzz, the Utah resident is looking to take the fake team concept and bring it to the real-life community. He helped out members of the Salt Lake community struggling to pay bills during the coronavirus crisis and is planning more charity initiatives.

Community involvement is a big portion of what Fishtown FC, named for a neighbourhood in Philadelphia, looks to do. In addition to the fish on their crest with a star above it, added when co-founder Jon Turner passed suddenly last year, their jerseys feature "JAWN" across the front in reference to the regional slang used to stand in for pretty much any noun.

"It doesn't say, like, 'Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Come visit!'" said Fishtown FC co-founder Phil Imhof, who has sent shirts as far away as Qatar to Philly natives serving in the military. "It's a nod to the slang here, and if you're from here you know it. If you've been here, you know it. It's just something a little fun."

Proceeds of sales go to help local youth teams like Kensington Soccer Club, AC Fairhill and Anderson Monarchs, who provide assistance to young players who may not be able to pay for fees.

"We started doing fundraisers, creating a bunch of weird stuff - products from jerseys to hats to T-shirts and hoodies with the goal of supporting some of the great programmes around Philadelphia, but also being a little wacky, a little sarcastic, a little fun," added Imhof.

There is even a faux club named after a tollway rest stop, FC Belvedere Oasis, started by a supporters' group for third-division Forward Madison FC to poke fun at their founder's proclivity for starting (real-life) clubs. They made jerseys and donated profits to a local food bank.

Francis says imitation is the sincerest form of flattery when it comes to the movement he and Perkins unwittingly sparked.

"We've created this thing which is much more fun than we thought it would be and it's lasted much longer than we thought it would," he said. "It has had a greater impact than we ever could have dreamed."
Anyone want to start a fake football club with me?
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Old 10-07-20, 08:26 PM   #8698
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I read that yesterday, I still don't understand what it's all about
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Old 10-07-20, 08:45 PM   #8699
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Is this USA's version of Mornington Crescent?
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Old 12-07-20, 03:05 PM   #8700
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OLIVER HOLT: Don't pretend real football is back... this is a pale imitation, and the game we love may never return
  • Things have felt sanitised and bleak since football has returned from lockdown
  • Getting fans back in stadiums must be a priority in order to revive the game
  • The five-sub rule feels like a sop smuggled in to benefit the richer clubs

By OLIVER HOLT FOR THE MAIL ON SUNDAY
PUBLISHED: 22:30, 11 July 2020 | UPDATED: 22:30, 11 July 2020

Half an hour before kick-off of the second leg of League One’s play-off semi-final between Oxford United and Portsmouth on Monday evening, a white flat-bed truck pulled up in the car park outside the Kassam Stadium.

Twenty blue pallets had been stacked high on the back of it so that they rose six feet or more above the driver’s cab.

There are only three sides to the Kassam. The fourth was never built. So behind one goal, only a low wall separates the pitch from the car park. The truck driver had done his homework

The police moved him on but he circled round and parked a few metres away in the spaces reserved for customers of a cinema multiplex, which is closed. After that, they left him alone.

Just before kick-off, the driver clambered on to the top of the pile of pallets and opened a beer. He was 20 metres away from the pitch but he had an uninterrupted view of the empty stadium. Another man climbed up beside him, shook his hand and sat next to him. Others scrambled up as well and, when the game kicked off, they began to sing and cheer.

Soon, there were 10 Portsmouth fans perched precariously atop the pallets, English football’s first spectators for almost four months. They began to chant at the wall of cardboard fans behind the other goal, the fans that football has replaced them with. The real thing confronted the impostors. ‘Where were you at Fratton Park?’ they yelled. The mute army of cut-outs stared back at them.

To people who don’t know English football, who are not steeped in it, maybe that moment might seem insignificant. For those of us there, sitting socially distanced in the stand, masks around our faces, it was a moment of joy. It was like a breath of pure oxygen. Banished since the game came back sanitised and bleak last month, it was the first sighting of football’s soul.

They have been saying football is back but it isn’t really. What’s the point of staging a drama if it plays to empty theatres? I’m sorry, but I have been to a few matches behind closed doors and it has been interesting to watch the games and see moments of skill and expression but let’s stop pretending football is back. What we have is a pale imitation of football.

We know these stadiums of ours as cauldrons of emotion and passion and argument and anger and cursing and pleading and laughing and crying and hugging and stamping and shouting and sighing and shrugging and raging and exhorting and conflict and resolution and despair and triumph and pointing and waving and escaping and living. Now they are places that echo and clang and try to fool our minds with their cardboard fans and their fake crowd noise.

All this is necessary, we know, and we accept it because the safety of fans is paramount and the alternative was for the TV companies to ask for their billions back and for English football to be plunged into a terminal meltdown.

In the weeks since restart, it has still provoked moments that make the heart sing. Kevin De Bruyne has played more majestically than ever, it has been thrilling to watch the continuing emergence of Mason Greenwood at Manchester United, and it was a pleasure to see the joy of Chris Wilder when his Sheffield United side scored a last-minute winner against Wolves on Wednesday. Some things transcend the emptiness.

Others do not. Without crowds, too many matches have looked like training games. Without fans, lower-quality sides accept their fate against the big boys far more readily than they did when they had their supporters there roaring them on, refusing to allow them to become dispirited, refusing to allow them to give up.

Newcastle’s FA Cup capitulation to Manchester City at St James’ Park at the end of last month was a good example. Many sides have been outplayed by City. There is no shame in that. But Newcastle would not have been quite as supine in front of 50,000 screaming Geordies.

And would Spurs have surrendered so meekly to Sheffield United that Jose Mourinho said he was ‘disturbed’ by their lack of desire if thousands of their fans had been packed into the away end at Bramall Lane 10 days ago?

Now that the domestic season is drawing to a close, Jurgen Klopp’s dominant Liverpool side have been confirmed as title winners and relegation and promotion issues are about to be finalised, a wider concern is starting to emerge, too: will we ever get football back as we knew it before the coronavirus or is it being changed so fundamentally that it will be unrecognisable?

It almost feels as if a coup against football has taken place during lockdown. Suddenly, it is a game transformed. More breaks, more subs, more interruptions, more protests, less rhythm, less momentum. It is starting to look like a different game. So when fans are allowed back, will they like what they see? When they are allowed back, will they want to stay?

I am not sure that football recognises quite yet the magnitude of the task it faces to win back the fans. The balance of power between clubs and supporters has shifted during the lockdown.

Fans had been relegated to cash-cows, customers to be fleeced in superstores and at the turnstile, commodities taken for granted. But the sight and the sounds of those empty stadiums has reminded us that they are the game’s life-blood. We already know we can put a price on the importance of supporters to the ‘product’.

Broadcasters forced the Premier League to pay them a £330million rebate for the portion of the season played behind closed doors because the absence of the fans and the atmosphere they create devalued the viewer experience.

Extrapolate that figure and apply it to an entire campaign and it tells you fans are worth £1.4billion a season to our top-flight clubs.

The clubs should be paying them to come to matches rather than the other way round. Season tickets should be free. We can see clearly now that fans make clubs money and clubs ask them to pay for the privilege. The figures tell us what we already knew and what is being confirmed with every soulless game played behind closed doors: football is nothing without fans.

They tell us, too, that the game ought to pay more attention to fans’ concerns because, apart from wider issues about whether we will ever be comfortable in crowds of 50,000 people again, there is growing alarm at the game’s direction of travel and the new rules it has adopted during the coronavirus crisis.

In the course of one season, English football has accelerated quickly towards a model of sport that has increasing similarities with the NFL with its staccato rhythm, its constant interruptions, its made-for-television-adverts time-outs and its video replays. You can love the NFL and still deplore the way that our game appears to be trying to imitate it.

VAR is one part of the problem. Its introduction at the start of the season was a victory for logic and technology. Its implementation has been shambolic. Luddites have never given it a chance but nor has it helped itself. The failure to include match-going fans in the decision-making process and to communicate with them about why there is a delay has been unforgivable.

Even last week, the length of the time it took to decide on Eddie Nketiah’s red card for Arsenal against Leicester and then to adjudicate on whether there was an offside in the build-up to Jamie Vardy’s equaliser in the same game felt unacceptable. Decision-making should be getting quicker. It feels as if it is getting slower.

There is understandable disquiet, too, about the news that the rule that allowed teams to use five substitutes this season is to be extended to next season, too. It was supposed to be introduced to aid player welfare in a time of accentuated fixture congestion and its perpetuation feels like a sop to the richer clubs that has been smuggled in under the cover of darkness.

Nobody signed up for this. There has been no consultation with fans. And it really does not take the brains of Lloyd George to work out that it is a rule which will favour richer clubs who have squads packed with larger numbers of higher-quality players. There are enough rules that favour the rich already. We do not need another.

That is before we consider the damage that the five-substitute rule does to the rhythm of the game. Yes, each club still only has three opportunities to make changes but the reality of wholesale changes is that momentum in a game is lost. A side introducing three substitutes at once is not uncommon now. It is like the game starting again.

The drinks breaks that have appeared since the restart have increased the sense of disruption, too. Wilder has already pointed out that managers like Arsenal’s Mikel Arteta have been using the breaks as auxiliary half-time intervals, seizing them as opportunities for extra coaching. Often, any advantage an opponent may have gained is negated by the drinks break.

The NFL is calibrated around interruptions like that. Our game is not. Our game is at its best when it builds around surges of momentum and periods of pressure and periods of heroic resistance.

Even when the fans are back, perhaps especially when the fans are back, the prevalence of these new interruptions will ruin those rhythms and how they rise and fall.

If all this were being done in the name of crisis management, we could stomach it. But what was supposed to be temporary is already becoming permanent. It does not feel right. It feels surreptitious and wrong. Changes are bleeding into the game that are altering its nature fundamentally and all without fans being given the chance to make their feelings known.

The Premier League are playing a dangerous game. They seem to be in denial. They used to hold all the cards but they don’t any more. It needs to understand that even though some supporters will rush back as soon as they can, others will be more cautious.

Maybe that will be because they will no longer feel comfortable in stadiums with tens of thousands of people. Maybe that will be because they have grown used to spending less money during lockdown. Maybe that will be because they have lost their jobs and they no longer have the disposable income the Premier League demands of their supporters and their families.

Maybe that will be because they have reassessed their priorities during the crisis and they have decided they are bored of being taken for granted by clubs and kit manufacturers who have been abusing their loyalty and that they would rather spend their money elsewhere.

Football must realise now more than ever that it has to make a priority of getting fans back into grounds as soon as it is safe. The longer their absence, the quicker the game will wither and the harder it will be to revive it.

West Ham vice-chair Karren Brady said that the plan is to have supporters back in full stadiums by September, which would be a fillip for the league. If the Government can get audiences back into cinemas and theatres, the Premier League has to convince them it can get football fans back into grounds. If they have not been readmitted by early next season, the game will be in even more serious trouble.

Even then, the danger for English football is that the public will come back to a game it no longer recognises and no longer loves, a game of changed rhythms and alien interruptions and manufactured breaks and innovations weighted towards the most powerful clubs that make it even harder for the Premier League to maintain the illusion of unpredictability on which much of its appeal is predicated.

It may want football back the way it used to be but it is as if the Premier League and the football authorities think they still exist in a world where they can treat fans with disdain.

They may find that their world has changed. They may find that power has shifted away from them. They may be in for a rude awakening.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/fo...imitation.html
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Old 12-07-20, 06:24 PM   #8701
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35/36


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Old 13-07-20, 12:11 AM   #8702
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too many gutless players, no beef or desire. pussies everywhere... sack them all, but not VVD or Alisson
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Old 14-07-20, 09:40 AM   #8703
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Old 14-07-20, 09:44 AM   #8704
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Old 14-07-20, 03:36 PM   #8705
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"looking through your posts since 2007 and what you have consistently written about my football team I have come to the conclusion that if you had 1 more brain cell you would be a plant .. your father was a hamster and your mother smells of elder berries, I fart in your general direction ..." Nicey
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Old 14-07-20, 03:40 PM   #8706
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fucks sake

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Old 14-07-20, 03:41 PM   #8707
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Jeez, not again
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Old 14-07-20, 04:10 PM   #8708
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That's from the weekend
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Old 14-07-20, 06:56 PM   #8709
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Wigan 7-0 up at half time ������
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Old 14-07-20, 07:09 PM   #8710
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Hull must be shit. Even J-Lo got on the scoresheet
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Old 14-07-20, 07:40 PM   #8711
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Old 14-07-20, 07:50 PM   #8712
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Old 14-07-20, 09:02 PM   #8713
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Wigan 8 Hull 0!!!! What the actual. I really hope Wigan finish more than 12 clear of relegation after getting properly fucked.
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Old 14-07-20, 09:08 PM   #8714
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Old 14-07-20, 09:18 PM   #8715
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ITV hardly show any football, surely he’ll get a gig somewhere else?
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Old 14-07-20, 10:27 PM   #8716
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Those boobies can't have been that special, they divorced after about 4 years from memory.

In other news what does this mean - I daren't google it for fear of the images that might appear

Matterface was born with a bifurcated penis, a subject he has talked about at length on his BBC Radio Kent show
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Old 14-07-20, 10:32 PM   #8717
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cormack74 View Post
Those boobies can't have been that special, they divorced after about 4 years from memory.

In other news what does this mean - I daren't google it for fear of the images that might appear

Matterface was born with a bifurcated penis, a subject he has talked about at length on his BBC Radio Kent show
bifurcate
verb
past tense: bifurcated; past participle: bifurcated
/ˈbʌɪfəkeɪt/

divide into two branches or forks.
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Old 14-07-20, 10:34 PM   #8718
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There is a citation for the claim on Wikipedia. But it is actually the article on Tyldsley losing his ITV gig.
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Old 14-07-20, 10:54 PM   #8719
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChesterDave View Post
bifurcate
verb
past tense: bifurcated; past participle: bifurcated
/ˈbʌɪfəkeɪt/

divide into two branches or forks.

So does that mean he has some sort of double dick arrangement?

Blimey
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Old 14-07-20, 11:04 PM   #8720
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or the Wiki trolls are having fun again
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Weak willed, Wank or do they have a masterplan?

Think we have the answer..Klopp
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