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Old 05-03-20, 03:09 PM   #2881
Slinky Skills
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I can't stop buying cars this week.

I've bought a VW golf, an Audi and a Toyota so far this week.

I think I've got car owner virus.
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Klopp on LFC vs MUFC (March 9th 2016) - "This is why I love football. This is why we watched it when we were young. I can still not have enough of it."


Always, keep your face to the sun, and shadows will fall behind you.
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Old 05-03-20, 04:08 PM   #2882
baitman
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......
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Champions of Europe and the World. removing all the weak links makes us stronger

too many gutless players, no beef or desire. pussies everywhere... sack them all, but not VVD or Alisson
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Old 05-03-20, 04:48 PM   #2883
Slinky Skills
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Quote:
Originally Posted by baitman View Post
......
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Klopp on LFC vs MUFC (March 9th 2016) - "This is why I love football. This is why we watched it when we were young. I can still not have enough of it."


Always, keep your face to the sun, and shadows will fall behind you.
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Old 05-03-20, 05:28 PM   #2884
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How much does it cost pirates to get their ears pierced?

About a buccaneer.
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Old 30-05-20, 04:03 AM   #2885
baitman
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Experience what 10 years of marriage is like by telling a deaf stranger about your day while they check Facebook on their phone.
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Champions of Europe and the World. removing all the weak links makes us stronger

too many gutless players, no beef or desire. pussies everywhere... sack them all, but not VVD or Alisson
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Old 01-06-20, 08:41 AM   #2886
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If you have a fear of giants, do you have Fefifobia?
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If only I was as good as I thought I was
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Old 24-06-20, 01:12 PM   #2887
kev776
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Little Johnny SAS.
A teacher asked the children in her third year class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Little Johnny answered first. "I want to start out as an S.A.S. Officer, go to the Middle East and kill loads of militant Terrorists and return as a national hero.
"Then I'd become a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find myself the finest nymphomaniac tart, give her a Ferrari, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while bang her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."

The teacher - shocked and not knowing what to do with this unfortunate response from little Johnny - decided not to acknowledge what he had said and simply tried to continue with the lesson.

"And how about you, Sarah?"
"I want to be Johnny's tart!"
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Old 21-07-20, 11:41 PM   #2888
baitman
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I used to go out with a girl called Lyndsey Doyle, she smelt like a cricket bat.
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Champions of Europe and the World. removing all the weak links makes us stronger

too many gutless players, no beef or desire. pussies everywhere... sack them all, but not VVD or Alisson
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Old 22-07-20, 07:17 AM   #2889
Saveloy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by baitman View Post
I used to go out with a girl called Lyndsey Doyle, she smelt like a cricket bat.



Did she not smell like the school cormorant?
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Old 22-07-20, 12:52 PM   #2890
baitman
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saveloy View Post



Did she not smell like the school cormorant?
Its not true, btw
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Champions of Europe and the World. removing all the weak links makes us stronger

too many gutless players, no beef or desire. pussies everywhere... sack them all, but not VVD or Alisson
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Old 28-07-20, 07:20 AM   #2891
bacon
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Prince Charles arrives in Iran on an official visit. and enquires to the president, 'Where's the Shah?'
'What do you mean?', replies the president. 'There is no shah. We got rid of the shah years ago.'
'Alright then', says Prince Charles, 'in that case I'll have a bath!'
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All you touch and all you see
Is all your life will ever be
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Old 28-07-20, 07:31 AM   #2892
Norbs
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August 10th 2020. My last alcoholic drink
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Old 29-07-20, 12:46 PM   #2893
Shaggy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bacon View Post
Prince Charles arrives in Iran on an official visit. and enquires to the president, 'Where's the Shah?'
'What do you mean?', replies the president. 'There is no shah. We got rid of the shah years ago.'
'Alright then', says Prince Charles, 'in that case I'll have a bath!'
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Fucking chances, goals
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Old 29-07-20, 02:16 PM   #2894
Alex
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Thats the sort of Joke I can get behind
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*Except Michael, who died.
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Old 29-07-20, 06:15 PM   #2895
Norbs
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Yeah, this is the wrong thread for it
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August 10th 2020. My last alcoholic drink
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Old 29-08-20, 01:52 AM   #2896
bacon
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My wife said she was leaving me because I exaggerate too much.
I was so shocked I almost tripped over my cock!
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Old 01-09-20, 09:48 PM   #2897
ChesterDave
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As we don't have a good jokes thread I'll have to put this shamelessly stolen off Twitter joke here

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Steve Brookstein
Steve Brookstein who?
Thay's showbusiness
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