It appears you have not yet registered with our community. To register please click here...

est1892

Go Back   est1892 > General > Jokes, Links & Funnies

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 18-08-08, 02:10 PM   #41
Reaper
Jerry Sadowitz
 
Reaper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
What's the quietest album in the world?

Stephen Hawking unplugged.
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
Reaper is offline   Reply With Quote
Advertisement.
Don't Like Adverts? (Register or Donate)
Liver Bird
Old 18-08-08, 02:11 PM   #42
Reaper
Jerry Sadowitz
 
Reaper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
What's black and blue and smells of spunk?









A rape victim.
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
Reaper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 02:14 PM   #43
Reaper
Jerry Sadowitz
 
Reaper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
What do you call a buck toothed anorexic?


A Crowbar
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
Reaper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 02:15 PM   #44
Reaper
Jerry Sadowitz
 
Reaper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
There's something strange about this olympics...

It said in the paper that Michael Phelps had won the most gold medals anyone had ever won, with 8 gold medals.

Surely the guy who won all China's medals has won more?
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
Reaper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 02:17 PM   #45
Reaper
Jerry Sadowitz
 
Reaper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
Bought my new girlfriend a new mobile today coz she has been whinging at me



































__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
Reaper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 02:36 PM   #46
tufty
Fagan
 
tufty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,985
Whats the best thing about shaggin a transvestite ?



reaching round the front and thinking its gone all the way through
__________________



Keep this quiet
if you carefully grind off the edges of a 50p coin you can use it as a 10p


tufty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 02:38 PM   #47
Reaper
Jerry Sadowitz
 
Reaper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
Reaper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 02:39 PM   #48
Reaper
Jerry Sadowitz
 
Reaper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
Why are women like prawns?

Cos their heads are full of shit but the pink bits taste nice.
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
Reaper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 02:42 PM   #49
Reaper
Jerry Sadowitz
 
Reaper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
I made a list of my old girlfriends earlier...




Edna 93,
Beatrice 86,
Ethel 88.
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
Reaper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 02:47 PM   #50
Reaper
Jerry Sadowitz
 
Reaper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
Lass down the pub told me to go fuck myself last night..

If I could do that I wouldnt have been stickin my hand up her skirt in the first place FFS
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
Reaper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 02:48 PM   #51
Reaper
Jerry Sadowitz
 
Reaper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
50% of people believe sex is "the connecting of two people's souls through two people's bodies, as one."







The other 50% are men.
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
Reaper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 02:48 PM   #52
tufty
Fagan
 
tufty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,985
" Vight, today vee shall have a vace. Zee first person back vill be shot for being too fast, the last person back vill be shot for being too slow.
First two Jews off you go "


" Today vee shall have a change of unterpants. Hut A vill change vith Hut B .... "
__________________



Keep this quiet
if you carefully grind off the edges of a 50p coin you can use it as a 10p


tufty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 02:49 PM   #53
Reaper
Jerry Sadowitz
 
Reaper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock



Who's there?














Michael J Fox
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
Reaper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 02:51 PM   #54
tufty
Fagan
 
tufty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,985
__________________



Keep this quiet
if you carefully grind off the edges of a 50p coin you can use it as a 10p


tufty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 02:56 PM   #55
Red_Polo
Takin' Her Easy
 
Red_Polo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 33,682
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy View Post
If anyone is offended don't come in the thread. Simple.
You have to read something before you can tell whether it offends you, you fucking clown

(If you were offended by this post you shouldn't have fucking well read it you daft cunt)
Red_Polo is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 02:59 PM   #56
Reaper
Jerry Sadowitz
 
Reaper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
Reaper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 03:02 PM   #57
Red_Polo
Takin' Her Easy
 
Red_Polo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 33,682
haha

I swear if you watch the doovde in slo mo Smokey's toe is NOT over the line
Red_Polo is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 03:03 PM   #58
Reaper
Jerry Sadowitz
 
Reaper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
When I was naughty at school, the headmaster used to give me 'six of the best'.




















Now I'm grown up I bet I could take the other 2 inches.
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
Reaper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 03:04 PM   #59
Reaper
Jerry Sadowitz
 
Reaper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
Quote:
Originally Posted by Red_Polo View Post
haha

I swear if you watch the doovde in slo mo Smokey's toe is NOT over the line
I shall fish it out later and check your analysis my friend
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
Reaper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 03:05 PM   #60
tufty
Fagan
 
tufty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,985
Two pregnant woman are sitting together knitting baby clothes. The first woman says, "I hope mine is a boy because ive only got blue wool." The second woman says, "I hope mine is a spastic because ive fucked the arms up."
__________________



Keep this quiet
if you carefully grind off the edges of a 50p coin you can use it as a 10p


tufty is offline   Reply With Quote
Advertisement.
Don't Like Adverts? (Register or Donate)
Liver Bird
Old 18-08-08, 03:05 PM   #61
Reaper
Jerry Sadowitz
 
Reaper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
Am I alone in spending an inordinate amount of time wondering just how exactly Abu Hamza wipes his arse?
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
Reaper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 03:07 PM   #62
Reaper
Jerry Sadowitz
 
Reaper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
Apparently, the London Olympics are supposed to restore English national pride;







FFS for 9.2 billion pounds, we could have written "fuck off Germany" onto the moon!
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
Reaper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 03:09 PM   #63
Reaper
Jerry Sadowitz
 
Reaper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
Id like to quash a nasty rumour that has been doing the rounds once and for all



Members have been saying that Tufty loves cock sandwiches.






This is totally untrue, I know for a fact he hates bread.
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
Reaper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 03:11 PM   #64
tufty
Fagan
 
tufty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,985
a woman is walking down a dark alley way when a big black man jumps out of the shadows with his cock in his hand

" I'm gonna shag the arse off you lady "

" thank fuck for that, I thought you were going to hit me over the fuckin head with it "
__________________



Keep this quiet
if you carefully grind off the edges of a 50p coin you can use it as a 10p


tufty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 03:12 PM   #65
tommyg
Dalglish
 
tommyg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,561
Whats the worst thing about eating bald pussy?

Putting the diaper back on.

-----------------------------------------------

How do you make the little girl cry twice?

Wipe the blood on her teddy bear.

---------------------------------------------

Whats the difference between a black man and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family.

--------------------------------------------

Whats the difference between period blood and sand?

You cant gargle sand.
__________________
"These stories have as much relation to the truth as an egg to a chestnut." - Racing Santander President Francisco Pernia
tommyg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 03:18 PM   #66
Subby
George Soros
 
Subby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 14,099
I kow it's getting bad when I''m getting

Access to http://www.est1892.co.uk/forums/show...t=53677&page=2 has been blocked by WebMarshal™

WARNING - based on a content scan of this URL, it is suspected this site may contain offensive material.

Your company's web gateway has been configured to control access to this site.
Contact your local I.T. Department or System Administrator if you need access for business purposes.

Note: Information about this download has been recorded.




...from my work internet access
__________________
Cheers

Subby

Custom 600t : i7 [email protected] : ROG Rampage Extreme IV : 16gig 2400 RAM : Vega 56 : 750w EVGA : Xonar sound : W10 Pro : CableMod custom cables.
Subby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 03:18 PM   #67
Reaper
Jerry Sadowitz
 
Reaper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
I went to the travel agent the other day for some advice on a holiday and told him I am afraid of flying because there might be a bomb on the plane.

He told me the chances of a bomb being on a plane are over a million to one.

I told him it was still too big a risk for me.

He advised me to take a bomb of my own.

When I asked, "what the fuck for?" he told me that the chances of two bombs being on the same plane are TWENTY million to one!
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
Reaper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 03:20 PM   #68
Reaper
Jerry Sadowitz
 
Reaper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
Van der Merwe had never been out of South Africa before and was visiting Bondi Beach, Australia.

He spotted a long line of black dots out in the water and said to an Aussie, who was sitting close by, "What are all those little black things out there?"

"They're buoys," said the Aussie.

"Boys!" replied Van der Merwe. "What are they doing out there?"

"Holding up the shark nets," the Aussie told him.

"Fucking great country this!" said the South African, deeply impressed. "We'd never get away with that at home!"
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
Reaper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 03:21 PM   #69
Reaper
Jerry Sadowitz
 
Reaper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,541
We've got a stunning blonde started at our office and I heard rumours she wanted to give me one.










Unfortunately, it was out of ten.
__________________
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
Reaper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 03:29 PM   #70
Paddy
Out Patient
 
Paddy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 3,117
Quote:
Originally Posted by Red_Polo View Post
You have to read something before you can tell whether it offends you, you fucking clown

(If you were offended by this post you shouldn't have fucking well read it you daft cunt)
Dammit.
Paddy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 04:45 PM   #71
tufty
Fagan
 
tufty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,985
Linford Christie walks into a golf club

The man on reception, looking embarrassed, says
" I'm very sorry but we don't allow black men here, theres another club ten minutes down the road that may be able to help "

" but I'm Linford Christie ! "

" ok, three minutes down the road, now fuck off "
__________________



Keep this quiet
if you carefully grind off the edges of a 50p coin you can use it as a 10p


tufty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 08:15 PM   #72
Laz
Fagan
 
Laz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,729
Tim, Jack & Rupert chatting. Tim says, "I'll never understand women, my wife's bought a car & she can't drive."

Jock says, "I know what you mean, my wife's gone on a diet & she's not even fat."

Rupert says, "That's nothing, my wife's taken 30 condoms to Benidorm & she hasn't even got a cock!"
Laz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 08:26 PM   #73
Laz
Fagan
 
Laz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,729
Hang on, I think I might have read that one on here anyway.

I'll try again...

A man buys wife a car for her birthday "I don't like it she says, I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 3 seconds."

He returns the car and comes back with some bathroom scales "Here, stand on that you fat cunt!"
Laz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 10:08 PM   #74
RoadEnd
Dalglish
 
RoadEnd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,360
Did you hear the one about the retard who won the disco dancing competition.




He only crossed the floor to buy a bag of crisps.
RoadEnd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 10:10 PM   #75
Johnny
Hodgsoned
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 10,707
Did you hear the one about the bus full of spastics that went over a cliff???



























It took firemen 3 hours to dig the bus out of the wreckage.
Johnny is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 10:11 PM   #76
Johnny
Hodgsoned
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 10,707
Why is there cotton in medicine bottles.





























To remind black fellas what they did before they became drug dealers.
Johnny is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 11:03 PM   #77
Darth Marty
Quite Contrary
 
Darth Marty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 10,284
oh man, im a sick sick person for laughing at these!
Darth Marty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 11:16 PM   #78
wiw
Paisley
 
wiw's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 19,494
Quote:
Originally Posted by Red_Polo View Post
haha

I swear if you watch the doovde in slo mo Smokey's toe is NOT over the line
Obsessed
__________________
Sack swinging like Dub-D40 on a door hinge
wiw is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 11:22 PM   #79
Shaggy
Dressed up as Batman?
 
Shaggy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 125,347
<image removed>
__________________
She and I enjoyed some banter together

Last edited by Paul.S; 18-03-15 at 07:58 PM. Reason: Violation of Google AdSense T&C's
Shaggy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-08-08, 11:22 PM   #80
Kronenburg1892
Fagan
 
Kronenburg1892's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,233
I was in Poland a couple of years back traveling with a local to a sales meeting. He turned around to me and said "That's where Aushwitz concentration camp was"
"Really" I said.
"Yes my father died there during the war!"
Fuck, what do you say to that? "I'm sorry"
"It was his own fault"
"Heh?"
"He got pissed one night and fell off the machine gun tower"
Kronenburg1892 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

  est1892 > General > Jokes, Links & Funnies

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 10:04 AM.


Our Current Balance versus Target. Please help us: (Donate)

Kindly Hosted By DigitalWales
Any posts remain the responsibility of the poster. Neither est1892, its Owners nor any company affiliated will be held responsible from any disputes arising from these posts. The views raised are not necessarily those held by the website or its owners.

 

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions Inc.