It appears you have not yet registered with our community. To register please click here...

est1892
Old 24-11-09, 03:26 PM   #1
Deano
Shankly
 
Deano's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,615
The Darwin Awards

Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.


Here is the glorious winner:

1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.


And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayohad escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some booze pretty badly.. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
Deano is offline   Reply With Quote
Advertisement.
Don't Like Adverts? (Register or Donate)
Liver Bird
Old 24-11-09, 03:33 PM   #2
bonzai
Fagan
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,281
Absolutely brilliant!!!
bonzai is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24-11-09, 04:32 PM   #3
Mike
Hip Flask Hater
 
Mike's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,166
I love these how the fuck can people be this dumb though.
Mike is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24-11-09, 04:53 PM   #4
The Erectile Banana
Mr. Musa
 
The Erectile Banana's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 8,753
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deano View Post
Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.



9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]


This one made me laugh the most.
__________________
A humble guy with healthy desire.
The Erectile Banana is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24-11-09, 06:05 PM   #5
Subby
George Soros
 
Subby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 14,099
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike View Post
I love these how the fuck can people be this dumb though.
probably american
__________________
Cheers

Subby

Custom 600t : i7 [email protected] : ROG Rampage Extreme IV : 16gig 2400 RAM : Vega 56 : 750w EVGA : Xonar sound : W10 Pro : CableMod custom cables.
Subby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24-11-09, 06:07 PM   #6
Subby
George Soros
 
Subby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 14,099
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deano View Post
Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.


Here is the glorious winner:

1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.


And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayohad escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some booze pretty badly.. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
are these not last years???

they seem very familiar
__________________
Cheers

Subby

Custom 600t : i7 [email protected] : ROG Rampage Extreme IV : 16gig 2400 RAM : Vega 56 : 750w EVGA : Xonar sound : W10 Pro : CableMod custom cables.
Subby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24-11-09, 06:33 PM   #7
Deano
Shankly
 
Deano's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,615
Quote:
Originally Posted by Subby View Post
are these not last years???

they seem very familiar
Someone sent them on an e-mail - Made me chuckle so I'd thought I'd post

Here the site link

http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/
Deano is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24-11-09, 07:04 PM   #8
Subby
George Soros
 
Subby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 14,099
darwin awards are great though

funny as
__________________
Cheers

Subby

Custom 600t : i7 [email protected] : ROG Rampage Extreme IV : 16gig 2400 RAM : Vega 56 : 750w EVGA : Xonar sound : W10 Pro : CableMod custom cables.
Subby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24-11-09, 07:06 PM   #9
Subby
George Soros
 
Subby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 14,099
http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2009.html

this years ones I think
__________________
Cheers

Subby

Custom 600t : i7 [email protected] : ROG Rampage Extreme IV : 16gig 2400 RAM : Vega 56 : 750w EVGA : Xonar sound : W10 Pro : CableMod custom cables.
Subby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-10, 12:48 PM   #10
Mike
Hip Flask Hater
 
Mike's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,166
My fave is story of an office worker in a tall building who reckoned that the windows are so tough that he could run into a window and it would withstand the force. He put the theory to the test and found out the hard way he was wrong . . .
Mike is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-10, 01:26 PM   #11
Carras_Shin_Pads
Dalglish
 
Carras_Shin_Pads's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,030
These are amazing! How do they get reported?
__________________
'The tide is very much in our court now.'

Keegan
Carras_Shin_Pads is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-10, 01:35 PM   #12
Paul.S
:: Site Owner ::
 
Paul.S's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 13,102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carras_Shin_Pads View Post
These are amazing! How do they get reported?
IIRC they can be submitted, the "Darwin Awards" have a team who then verify the story etc.
Paul.S is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-10, 01:46 PM   #13
DaveMc68
Evans
 
DaveMc68's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 150
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike View Post
My fave is story of an office worker in a tall building who reckoned that the windows are so tough that he could run into a window and it would withstand the force. He put the theory to the test and found out the hard way he was wrong . . .
I think he used to do the office tours.

He'd finish his tour at the end of the corridor and for effect would then say something like "thats the end of todays tour, my name is blah but you can call me superman" at which point he'd sprint down the corridor and dive into the glass unit.
Then one time it broke.
DaveMc68 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-10, 01:46 PM   #14
Carras_Shin_Pads
Dalglish
 
Carras_Shin_Pads's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,030
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul.S View Post
IIRC they can be submitted, the "Darwin Awards" have a team who then verify the story etc.
niice
__________________
'The tide is very much in our court now.'

Keegan
Carras_Shin_Pads is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-10, 01:50 PM   #15
Paul.S
:: Site Owner ::
 
Paul.S's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 13,102
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveMc68 View Post
I think he used to do the office tours.

He'd finish his tour at the end of the corridor and for effect would then say something like "thats the end of todays tour, my name is blah but you can call me superman" at which point he'd sprint down the corridor and dive into the glass unit.
Then one time it broke.
There's a few variations of the story, I think the genuine one is a Laywer, who runs into a pane (to scare his students), which fails at the edge (weakest part of a tempered glass pane), shattering and sending him through it.

There are variations to spice it up, such as it was a Glass Salesman, proving the pane was unbreakable, when he jumps into the panel, the whole sheet falls out. He lands on the ground and the glass lands on top of him, not breaking.... sounds cooler, but is untrue.
Paul.S is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-10, 03:52 PM   #16
DaveMc68
Evans
 
DaveMc68's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 150
Yeah, the first one sounds very like the way I heard it, just didn't remember him being a lawyer. The other sounds complete bollocks as you say.

I was told the story during a seminar at saint gobain glass covering impact barrier loadings on safety glass, and brittish standard testing. Probably the most exiting day I've ever had.
DaveMc68 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-10, 04:01 PM   #17
PTP
Passion for fire alarms or extinguishers?
 
PTP's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 34,898
Safety Glass rocks
__________________
i own everton fans on the internet....that's what i do
PTP is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-10, 09:11 PM   #18
nebbers
Fagan
 
nebbers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,110
There is one story about a man jumping from a building to commit suicide. On the way down he flew past a window where a gun was fired. The bullet from the gun killed him rather then the fall.
__________________
I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
nebbers is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-10, 11:42 PM   #19
paulg
Dalglish
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,560
Quote:
Originally Posted by nebbers View Post
There is one story about a man jumping from a building to commit suicide. On the way down he flew past a window where a gun was fired. The bullet from the gun killed him rather then the fall.
I heard a version of that. Man and wife argue constantly, man threatens wife with gun, she laughs. He shoots her and misses, bullet goes through window and hits their plummeting son who'd got so sick of their arguing he decided to top himself.

Convoluted, no?
paulg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-03-10, 11:28 AM   #20
kev776
Paisley
 
kev776's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 11,035
Quote:
Originally Posted by paulg View Post
I heard a version of that. Man and wife argue constantly, man threatens wife with gun, she laughs. He shoots her and misses, bullet goes through window and hits their plummeting son who'd got so sick of their arguing he decided to top himself.

Convoluted, no?
Did the boy land on the family dog, who shot out of the door when the gun was fired?
kev776 is offline   Reply With Quote
Advertisement.
Don't Like Adverts? (Register or Donate)
Liver Bird
Old 06-03-10, 11:33 AM   #21
Neil Young
Prosecco Socialist
 
Neil Young's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 62,564
Quote:
Originally Posted by kev776 View Post
Did the boy land on the family dog, who shot out of the door when the gun was fired?
No, I was unharmed but thanks for your concern.
__________________
.
Suppose you have a physicist and a sociologist standing at the side of a field, observing a set of events unfolding on the field. The physicist does [describes] it using the terminology of mass and velocity and frequency of radiation and the rest. And the sociologist does it by describing it as a rugby match.



May the Lord bless this post.
Neil Young is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-03-10, 03:54 PM   #22
The Erectile Banana
Mr. Musa
 
The Erectile Banana's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 8,753
Quote:
Originally Posted by paulg View Post
I heard a version of that. Man and wife argue constantly, man threatens wife with gun, she laughs. He shoots her and misses, bullet goes through window and hits their plummeting son who'd got so sick of their arguing he decided to top himself.

Convoluted, no?
That story was at the start of the film Magnolia.
__________________
A humble guy with healthy desire.
The Erectile Banana is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-03-10, 11:58 PM   #23
CJ
Shadow Inanity Secretary
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 33,204
wasnt there some more to that story about the fact that the guy who was shot had loaded the gun or something like that
CJ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-03-10, 04:11 PM   #24
paulg
Dalglish
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,560
That's right, something about the boy wanting his dad dead so loaded the gun to shoot him, then changed his mind or some such.
paulg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-03-10, 05:24 PM   #25
Darth Marty
Quite Contrary
 
Darth Marty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 10,284
so utter bollocks then.
Darth Marty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-03-10, 06:36 PM   #26
CJ
Shadow Inanity Secretary
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 33,204
oh ye of little faith








































of course
CJ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-05-10, 11:47 AM   #27
Mike
Hip Flask Hater
 
Mike's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,166
And once again, it's time for the Darwin Award Nominees.
"The Darwins " are awarded every year to the persons who died in the stupidest manner, thereby removing themselves from the gene pool. Some may submit a list for your consideration that is nothing more than a "resend" of last year's winners. Here is the official 2009 list. Notice the interesting spin for this year's first place award which comes to us - from of all places, Arkansas . How surprising is that?
This years nominees are:

Nominee No. 1: ( San Jose Mercury News): An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriends windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.

Nominee No. 2: ( Kalamazoo Gazette): James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo , MI , was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police describe as a "farm-type truck." Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft.

Nominee No. 3: ( Hickory Daily Record): Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton , NC . Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.

Nominee No. 4: (UPI, Toronto ): Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the buildings' windows to visiting law students.. Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" (ed note:????) members of the 200-man association.


Nominee No. 5: (The News of the Weird): Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting South Carolina 's electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.



Nominee No. 6: A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk , IN. A Jay County man, using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle loader, was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriffs investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents' rural Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle-loader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.

Nominee No. 7: (Reuters, Mississauga , Ontario ): A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a wheelchair when the accident occurred, said Inspector Darcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. "It appears that the chair moved, and he went over the balcony," Honer said.

Finally, THE WINNER!!!: ( Arkansas Democrat Gazette): Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock , were returning to Des Arc after a frog catching trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Pooles pickup truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the 22 caliber bullets from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering- wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge . After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged, and struck Poole in the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exiting the pavement, and striking a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which will never operate as intended. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his n**s off, or we might both be dead," stated Wallis. "I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident happened," said Snyder. Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia ( Poole 's wife), asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck. Priorities, after all!! Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their misadventure as normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it can be argued that Poole did, in fact, effectively remove himself from the gene pool.
Mike is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-05-10, 12:16 PM   #28
Tee
El Pistolero
 
Tee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 35,385
__________________
"Its not about the long ball or the short ball, its about the right ball." Bob Paisley
Tee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-05-10, 12:21 PM   #29
Reece
 
Reece's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 76,771
Quote:
Nominee No. 5: (The News of the Weird): Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting South Carolina 's electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.
Reece is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-05-10, 12:29 PM   #30
Darkon
Football Expert
 
Darkon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 16,260
idiots!
Darkon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-05-10, 10:37 PM   #31
Tatterdemalion
Shankly
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 5,687
Are the contenders for the Darwin awards exclusively north american because that is where they are based, or is just natural selection?
__________________
Form vergeht, Klasse besteht.
Tatterdemalion is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-05-10, 11:48 AM   #32
Exiled_red
Paisley
 
Exiled_red's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 37,239
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike View Post
Finally, THE WINNER!!!: ( Arkansas Democrat Gazette): Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock , were returning to Des Arc after a frog catching trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Pooles pickup truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the 22 caliber bullets from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering- wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge . After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged, and struck Poole in the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exiting the pavement, and striking a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which will never operate as intended. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his n**s off, or we might both be dead," stated Wallis. "I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident happened," said Snyder. Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia ( Poole 's wife), asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck. Priorities, after all!! Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their misadventure as normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it can be argued that Poole did, in fact, effectively remove himself from the gene pool.
__________________
The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can't ignore it, top it; if you can't top it, laugh at it; if you can't laugh at it, it's probably deserved.
Exiled_red is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-05-10, 08:52 PM   #33
johnp
Has you on Ignore
 
johnp's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 4,842
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike View Post
Nominee No. 6: A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk , IN. A Jay County man, using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle loader, was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriffs investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents' rural Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle-loader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.
Almost saw the same thing in Australia. We were changing buses from a coach to a mini-bus for the last part of a 20-hour bus trip to Exmouth on the West Coast. It was late at night, maybe about 10pm so it was dark.
While we were putting the bags in the minibus, the driver asks if we want to see some fireworks. Why not! It was a circular firework, with lots of tubes in it that would shoot lots of lovely coloured fireballs in the air.
So he sets off into the bush, lights the firework and runs back to us.

Nothing happens.

He trots off to pick up the firework and brings it back. He's trying to look in, but can't see anything so uses his lighter to get a better look
Luckily for him, nothing happened.

I was gonna say something at the time, but thought it'd be good inclusion for the Darwins
__________________
Quote:
Well, here we are in a room with two manky hookers and a racist dwarf. I think I'm heading home.
johnp is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-19, 12:15 PM   #34
dom9
Ant Pisser
 
dom9's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 61,744
Drivers in US urged not to drive while blindfolded.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-46846981
__________________
Oh I don't know.
dom9 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

  est1892 > General > Jokes, Links & Funnies

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 10:03 AM.


Our Current Balance versus Target. Please help us: (Donate)

Kindly Hosted By DigitalWales
Any posts remain the responsibility of the poster. Neither est1892, its Owners nor any company affiliated will be held responsible from any disputes arising from these posts. The views raised are not necessarily those held by the website or its owners.

 

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions Inc.