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Old 28-12-18, 08:44 AM   #2721
Saveloy
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I'm so glad I'm not on Facebook
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Old 28-12-18, 11:02 AM   #2722
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That's weak
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Old 30-12-18, 11:24 PM   #2723
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I made a Belgian waffle this morning.

I made a Frenchman talk shit this afternoon.
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Klopp on LFC vs MUFC (March 9th 2016) - "This is why I love football. This is why we watched it when we were young. I can still not have enough of it."


Always, keep your face to the sun, and shadows will fall behind you.
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Old 31-12-18, 02:30 AM   #2724
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Fredo?
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Old 27-03-19, 08:00 PM   #2725
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Why was the four year old child of the anti-vax parent crying?






Mid-life crisis.
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Old 30-03-19, 07:23 PM   #2726
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How does a paedophile find an 8 year old in the woods?

Quite satisfying.
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Klopp on LFC vs MUFC (March 9th 2016) - "This is why I love football. This is why we watched it when we were young. I can still not have enough of it."


Always, keep your face to the sun, and shadows will fall behind you.

Last edited by Slinky Skills; 30-03-19 at 09:11 PM.
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Old 09-04-19, 04:36 AM   #2727
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Anybody who criticizes Klopp ever is a James Blunt. Nov 2015
#FUCKCITY
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Old 16-04-19, 01:12 PM   #2728
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One eye witness to the Notre Dam Fire says he's not sure who started the fire but he has a hunch!
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Old 16-04-19, 01:14 PM   #2729
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angryred View Post
One eye witness to the Notre Dam Fire says he's not sure who started the fire but he has a hunch!
Beat me to it
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Old 16-04-19, 01:15 PM   #2730
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Fire is destroying a world famous landmark in Paris right now.

And there’s notre dame thing they can do about it.
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Old 16-04-19, 01:19 PM   #2731
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Talking

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Originally Posted by sinbad View Post
Fire is destroying a world famous landmark in Paris right now.

And there’s notre dame thing they can do about it.
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Old 21-07-19, 10:20 AM   #2732
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A man walks into a hardware store and speaks to the cashier...

“Got any two watt bulbs?”

“For what?”

“That’ll do I’ll take two.”

“Two what?”

“I thought you didn’t have any.”

“Any what?”

“Ok then!”
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Klopp on LFC vs MUFC (March 9th 2016) - "This is why I love football. This is why we watched it when we were young. I can still not have enough of it."


Always, keep your face to the sun, and shadows will fall behind you.
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Old 21-07-19, 01:56 PM   #2733
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I'm sure it's been said many times in this thread it's poor taste not poor

Haha
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Old 21-07-19, 02:12 PM   #2734
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChesterDave View Post
I'm sure it's been said many times in this thread it's poor taste not poor

Haha
Thank you! I had to work so hard to not say that for the twentieth time
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Old 21-07-19, 04:00 PM   #2735
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Slinky Skills View Post
A man walks into a hardware store and speaks to the cashier...

“Got any two watt bulbs?”

“For what?”

“That’ll do I’ll take two.”

“Two what?”

“I thought you didn’t have any.”

“Any what?”

“Ok then!”
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Old 26-07-19, 09:49 AM   #2736
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChesterDave View Post
I'm sure it's been said many times in this thread it's poor taste not poor

Haha
Quote:
Originally Posted by Red_Polo View Post
Thank you! I had to work so hard to not say that for the twentieth time
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tee View Post
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Klopp on LFC vs MUFC (March 9th 2016) - "This is why I love football. This is why we watched it when we were young. I can still not have enough of it."


Always, keep your face to the sun, and shadows will fall behind you.
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Old 03-09-19, 10:07 PM   #2737
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Edit
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Klopp on LFC vs MUFC (March 9th 2016) - "This is why I love football. This is why we watched it when we were young. I can still not have enough of it."


Always, keep your face to the sun, and shadows will fall behind you.
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Old 19-09-19, 02:02 AM   #2738
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Crowd of blokes in a pub and a woman walks past. Bloke says to his mates "I'd give her one"
The woman turns around "I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last man on earth"
The bloke replies "Who said anything about sex, I was marking you out out of ten you fat [email protected]#t!"
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Old 20-09-19, 03:20 PM   #2739
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bacon View Post
Crowd of blokes in a pub and a woman walks past. Bloke says to his mates "I'd give her one"
The woman turns around "I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last man on earth"
The bloke replies "Who said anything about sex, I was marking you out out of ten you fat [email protected]#t!"
This certainly fulfils the criteria of the thread title.
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Old 21-09-19, 10:31 PM   #2740
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bacon View Post
Crowd of blokes in a pub and a woman walks past. Bloke says to his mates "I'd give her one"
The woman turns around "I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last man on earth"
The bloke replies "Who said anything about sex, I was marking you out out of ten you fat [email protected]#t!"
"Red_Polo likes this."
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Old 21-09-19, 10:36 PM   #2741
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.... (distracted dupe)
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Old 21-09-19, 10:43 PM   #2742
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saveloy View Post
"Red_Polo likes this."


I'd been searching for a way to say that, without saying that, if you get me
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Old 21-09-19, 11:28 PM   #2743
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What's pink and dusty?

Madelaine McCann's tricycle.
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Klopp on LFC vs MUFC (March 9th 2016) - "This is why I love football. This is why we watched it when we were young. I can still not have enough of it."


Always, keep your face to the sun, and shadows will fall behind you.
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Old 22-09-19, 08:14 AM   #2744
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That's a ancient recycled joke, not very original

What's pink and fluffy and haven't moved for ages? Rock Hudson's slippers

What's rusty and chained up in Canterbury cathedral? Terry Waite's bike
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Old 23-09-19, 11:44 PM   #2745
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Everon are the longest running British comedy. Don't think Only Fools and Horses or Last of the Summer wine went on longer than 120 years.
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Old 08-10-19, 11:20 AM   #2746
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Deleted. But its a cracker
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☆☆☆☆☆☆ Champions of Europe. removing all the weak links makes us stronger

too many gutless players, no beef or desire. pussies everywhere... sack them all, but not VVD or Alisson
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Old 11-10-19, 12:42 PM   #2747
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A young Geordie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job.

The manager asked "Do you have any sales experience?"

The young man answered "Aye, hods, I was a canny salesman back in Newcastle."

The manager liked the Geordie so he gave him the job. His first day on the job was challenging and busy, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the manager came down and asked "OK,...... so how many sales did you make today?"

The Geordie said "Just the one, Marra." The manager groaned and continued "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day.

How much was the sale for? £124,237.64" replied the Geordie.

The manager choked and exclaimed £124,237.64, what the hell did you sell him?"

"Well, forst I selt him a smaal fish hook, then a medium fish hook, and then I selt him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was gannin' fishing and he said doon at the coast, so I telt him he would need a boat, so we went doon tiv the boat department and I selt him that twin-engined Power Cat. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him doon tiv the car sales and I selt him the 4 x 4 Suzuki".

The manager, incredulous, said "You mean to tell me....a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and 4x4?"

"Nah, nah......he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his ladyfriend and I said.........

'Well, since ya weekend's fucked, you might as well gan fishing."
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☆☆☆☆☆☆ Champions of Europe. removing all the weak links makes us stronger

too many gutless players, no beef or desire. pussies everywhere... sack them all, but not VVD or Alisson
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Old 11-10-19, 02:52 PM   #2748
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Agreed, think that's a bit much.
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Old 11-10-19, 03:41 PM   #2749
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Angry

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yozza View Post
Really? Racist rape jokes now?
Erm...title of thread says poor/bad taste jokes so piss off, ya hacks!
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Old 11-10-19, 09:12 PM   #2750
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Wife was cleaning 12 year old son's bedroom when she finds a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags.

She asks her husband "what do we do?"

Husband says"I'm no expert, but I wouldn't fucking spank him."
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Old 11-10-19, 10:01 PM   #2751
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angryred View Post
Erm...title of thread says poor/bad taste jokes so piss off, ya hacks!


Thats less a joke than a sign of the times.
The fact that you even think it's ok to post sickens me.
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Old 11-10-19, 11:05 PM   #2752
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fidget View Post


Thats less a joke than a sign of the times.
The fact that you even think it's ok to post sickens me.
Thank you
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Old 13-10-19, 05:57 PM   #2753
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Some of the funniest standup I've seen for a while

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Old 14-10-19, 10:16 AM   #2754
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Comedy really is highly subjective. I watched that and thought it was rubbish.
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Old 14-10-19, 10:34 AM   #2755
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Quote:
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Comedy really is highly subjective. I watched that and thought it was rubbish.
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Old 14-10-19, 02:04 PM   #2756
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Angry

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kenneth View Post
Comedy really is highly subjective. I watched that and thought it was rubbish.
Agree. I gave it a few minutes then bailed out, didnt comment just in case it upped its game later.
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☆☆☆☆☆☆ Champions of Europe. removing all the weak links makes us stronger

too many gutless players, no beef or desire. pussies everywhere... sack them all, but not VVD or Alisson

Last edited by baitman; 14-10-19 at 02:07 PM.
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Old 14-10-19, 02:22 PM   #2757
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10 seconds here
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Coinbase (buy with card) | Binance (large caps) | Cryptopia (small caps) | Bitmex (leverage) | Coinigy (charts & portfolio tracking)

Hello mert.
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Old 14-10-19, 03:54 PM   #2758
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It wasn't the style or even the topics, it was just that there were only 2 or 3 jokes that landed in 24 minutes, which is not enough for me.
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Old 14-10-19, 04:45 PM   #2759
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I found it hilarious. As you say, its subjective, but the crowd were certainly enjoying too, so I'm not alone...
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Old 14-10-19, 05:06 PM   #2760
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Do you have any other recommendations I can swerve?
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