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Old 18-08-08, 11:26 PM   #81
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Sack swinging like Dub-D40 on a door hinge

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Old 19-08-08, 09:19 AM   #82
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shaggy it's still showing as a red x in a box....repost???
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Old 19-08-08, 09:33 AM   #83
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shaggy it's still showing as a red x in a box....repost???
You fucker Shaggy.

I got curious last night so copied the URL into my address bar with my gf stood beside me. Big mistake.
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Old 19-08-08, 10:11 AM   #84
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You fucker Shaggy.

I got curious last night so copied the URL into my address bar with my gf stood beside me. Big mistake.
is it safe for work?
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Old 19-08-08, 10:17 AM   #85
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yes






if you work at a sewerage plant

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Old 19-08-08, 10:18 AM   #86
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is it safe for work?
If you work in a place where people bend over and curl out 5 foot long shits then yes. Otherwise I'd have to say no mate.
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Old 19-08-08, 10:18 AM   #87
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A Muslim terrorist has been shot dead by the Metropolitan police

When asked why the Muslim had 68 bullet wounds a police spokesman replied
" thats all we had "
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Old 19-08-08, 07:36 PM   #88
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Every Cloud has a silver lining. I really sympathise with the Chinese earthquake victims, but just think of the paralympic team they're going to have in 2012!
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Old 19-08-08, 08:15 PM   #89
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Why do women wear makeup and perfume?

Because they're ugly and they stink.





What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you're already told her twice.
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Old 20-08-08, 12:33 AM   #90
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Old 20-08-08, 01:38 PM   #91
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Two Asian heroin addicts have injected themselves with curry powder by mistake - both are in intensive care. One has a dodgy tikka and the other one is in a korma.
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Old 20-08-08, 01:51 PM   #92
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Two Asian heroin addicts have injected themselves with curry powder by mistake - both are in intensive care. One has a dodgy tikka and the other one is in a korma.


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Old 20-08-08, 03:05 PM   #93
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I got a really nasty one which I ainty gonna post. PM me if ya want it
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"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
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Old 20-08-08, 03:27 PM   #94
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I was sitting on the settee watching a soppy film with my girlfriend. She was lying with her head in my lap.

Overcome with emotion after the film, she said, "give me a kiss dear."

I said, "if I could reach down that far to kiss you, why would I need you in the first place?"
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"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
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Old 20-08-08, 03:31 PM   #95
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An American meets an Ethiopian.

The American says, "Fuck me, you look as is you've survived a famine!"

The Ethiopian says, "You look as if you fucking caused it you fat cunt!
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"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
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Old 20-08-08, 03:32 PM   #96
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So, Gary Glitter had a "heart attack" when boarding the plane in Vietnam, did he?

Must have been all that excitement when they announced that the in-flight movie was "High School Musical".
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"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
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Old 20-08-08, 03:35 PM   #97
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I'm one of those people that likes to have a shit while I'm reading.

This is also the reason why I'm banned from Waterstones.
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"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
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Old 20-08-08, 04:32 PM   #98
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Reaper View Post
I got a really nasty one which I ainty gonna post. PM me if ya want it
PM please
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Old 20-08-08, 04:49 PM   #99
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oh go on then, me too!
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Old 20-08-08, 05:11 PM   #100
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you'll be sorry



think about it, theres some pretty bad ones on this thread and Reaps has still shit out of posting these

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Old 20-08-08, 05:13 PM   #101
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ha ha ha we will see!!
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Old 20-08-08, 05:22 PM   #102
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Pm Me!!!!
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Old 20-08-08, 06:25 PM   #103
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hope he hasnt stolen mine
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Old 20-08-08, 07:45 PM   #104
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PM please
Me too please
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Old 20-08-08, 08:22 PM   #105
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What do you call a man with no limbs in the sea..............................Bob.
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Old 20-08-08, 09:43 PM   #106
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Me too please
And me
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Old 21-08-08, 09:57 AM   #107
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Man wearing a trench coat approaches a woman.

Woman says "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?"

Man says "Bit of both, this is a rape"
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Old 21-08-08, 12:26 PM   #108
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Gary Glitter has caused a hold up in an east Asian airport by refusing to allow his hand luggage to be checked












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"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."

Last edited by Reaper; 21-08-08 at 12:51 PM.
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Old 21-08-08, 12:40 PM   #109
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"My commitment to Liverpool is 100 per cent. I would die for that Liverpool shirt. I think the club loves me and I feel the same, no matter what the situation." - Pepe Reina, Nov '09.
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Old 21-08-08, 12:47 PM   #110
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- playing footie tonight which will be followed by a few pints - writing some fo these down haha
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Old 21-08-08, 12:52 PM   #111
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I got a Charity appeal letter from the Tourettes Society today.

Apparently for just two pounds a week I can sponsor a child to fuck off you stupid cunt pissflapping bastard..
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"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
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Old 21-08-08, 09:54 PM   #112
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Women are like wine:

I can only afford the really cheap ones that have the big, ugly boxes that leak.
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"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
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Old 21-08-08, 09:59 PM   #113
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Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you are a paedophile, but you just haven't met the right child yet?
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"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
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Old 21-08-08, 10:05 PM   #114
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Old Father O'Malley was strolling through the church grounds one sunny summer evening, when he came upon a little frog sitting by a tree.

"My Lord," he said, picking it up: "You're the saddest, most forlorn-looking frog I've ever seen. I only wish you could speak, so that you might tell me your troubles."

The frog replied, "Actually, I can. You see, I was once a choirboy in this very parish. One day I offended a passing Gypsy, and she put a curse on me that turned me into a talking frog."

"Incredible!" said Father O'Malley. "Is there anything I might do to help you?"

"Actually yes, there is. The Gypsy said that if I can find somebody to take me home and let me sleep in their bed, the curse will be lifted and I'll be back to normal."

"Well," said Father O'Malley, "the good Lord teaches us to be charitable. I think I can manage that."

So Father O'Malley picked up the little frog and put it in his pocket.

That night he placed it gently on the pillow beside him and drifted off into a long, dreamy sleep.

When he awoke the next morning, the frog had turned back into a choirboy, just as it had said it would.





And that, Your Honour, is the case for the defence...
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"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
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Old 21-08-08, 10:07 PM   #115
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A friend of mine asked me how to try and convince his girlfriend to have anal sex.

I said, "forgiveness is always easier than permission."
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"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
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Old 22-08-08, 02:49 AM   #116
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Reaper View Post
Old Father O'Malley was strolling through the church grounds one sunny summer evening, when he came upon a little frog sitting by a tree.

"My Lord," he said, picking it up: "You're the saddest, most forlorn-looking frog I've ever seen. I only wish you could speak, so that you might tell me your troubles."

The frog replied, "Actually, I can. You see, I was once a choirboy in this very parish. One day I offended a passing Gypsy, and she put a curse on me that turned me into a talking frog."

"Incredible!" said Father O'Malley. "Is there anything I might do to help you?"

"Actually yes, there is. The Gypsy said that if I can find somebody to take me home and let me sleep in their bed, the curse will be lifted and I'll be back to normal."

"Well," said Father O'Malley, "the good Lord teaches us to be charitable. I think I can manage that."

So Father O'Malley picked up the little frog and put it in his pocket.

That night he placed it gently on the pillow beside him and drifted off into a long, dreamy sleep.

When he awoke the next morning, the frog had turned back into a choirboy, just as it had said it would.





And that, Your Honour, is the case for the defence...
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Old 22-08-08, 04:01 PM   #117
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Why does Michael Barrymore have no ashtrays in his house?

He puts all the fags out in the pool.
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Old 22-08-08, 04:19 PM   #118
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"My commitment to Liverpool is 100 per cent. I would die for that Liverpool shirt. I think the club loves me and I feel the same, no matter what the situation." - Pepe Reina, Nov '09.
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Old 22-08-08, 04:25 PM   #119
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BFG View Post
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Old 22-08-08, 05:49 PM   #120
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Reaper View Post
Old Father O'Malley was strolling through the church grounds one sunny summer evening, when he came upon a little frog sitting by a tree.

"My Lord," he said, picking it up: "You're the saddest, most forlorn-looking frog I've ever seen. I only wish you could speak, so that you might tell me your troubles."

The frog replied, "Actually, I can. You see, I was once a choirboy in this very parish. One day I offended a passing Gypsy, and she put a curse on me that turned me into a talking frog."

"Incredible!" said Father O'Malley. "Is there anything I might do to help you?"

"Actually yes, there is. The Gypsy said that if I can find somebody to take me home and let me sleep in their bed, the curse will be lifted and I'll be back to normal."

"Well," said Father O'Malley, "the good Lord teaches us to be charitable. I think I can manage that."

So Father O'Malley picked up the little frog and put it in his pocket.

That night he placed it gently on the pillow beside him and drifted off into a long, dreamy sleep.

When he awoke the next morning, the frog had turned back into a choirboy, just as it had said it would.





And that, Your Honour, is the case for the defence...
that is brilliant!!!
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People who think there's no good way to die have obviously never heard the phrase 'Drug-fuelled-sex-heart-attack'.
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