It appears you have not yet registered with our community. To register please click here...

est1892

Go Back   est1892 > General > Jokes, Links & Funnies

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 29-08-06, 07:12 PM   #1
Angry Dan
Benitez
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 948
Smile Difference between Men and Women

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
Angry Dan is offline   Reply With Quote
Advertisement.
Don't Like Adverts? (Register or Donate)
Liver Bird
Old 29-08-06, 11:56 PM   #2
AnfieldForever
Has left his site in good hands...
 
AnfieldForever's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 6,263
Quote:
Originally Posted by Angry Dan
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
AnfieldForever is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30-08-06, 07:28 AM   #3
univofchicago
Fagan
 
univofchicago's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,095
Quote:
Originally Posted by Angry Dan

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"


Great post!

Hahahahahahaha.
__________________
"In fact Iím going to make a promise which will be welcomed by many. If thereís no finance secured by the opening day of the season, Iím going to hang up my keyboard and close KOPTALK down."

Duncan Oldham, March 29th 2006
univofchicago is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30-08-06, 10:51 PM   #4
Howard_lfc
Dalglish
 
Howard_lfc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,668
Wait till the bints on this site see this !!!
__________________
Liverpool born and bred.
Howard_lfc is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-09-06, 08:53 AM   #5
Mumsafan
Paisley
 
Mumsafan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 10,087
Quote:
Originally Posted by Howard_lfc
Wait till the bints on this site see this !!!

Seen it before. :yawn:
__________________
I live with Steptoe.
Mumsafan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-07, 04:12 PM   #6
captain-caveman
Evans
 
captain-caveman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 115
Thats Quality!!!
captain-caveman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-07, 04:39 PM   #7
MrsB
looking at the world
 
MrsB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 14,622
*yawns too*
MrsB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-07, 07:54 PM   #8
PeachSalsa
Hodgsoned
 
PeachSalsa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 266
Another yawn. And I make enough money to buy my own stuff.
PeachSalsa is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

  est1892 > General > Jokes, Links & Funnies

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 01:06 AM.


Our Current Balance versus Target. Please help us: (Donate)

Kindly Hosted By DigitalWales
Any posts remain the responsibility of the poster. Neither est1892, its Owners nor any company affiliated will be held responsible from any disputes arising from these posts. The views raised are not necessarily those held by the website or its owners.

 

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions Inc.