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19-08-08, 09:19 AM
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#82 |
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George Soros
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 14,656
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shaggy it's still showing as a red x in a box....repost???
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Cheers Subby www.subbytech.com - Use your "est" discount code to get 15% off everything in the store too  MetalliGear Neo Qube : Ryzen 5900x : Gigabyte x570 Aorus Elite : 32GB Vengence 3600Mhz : Sabrent Gen 4 NVME SSD : RX580 : MasterLiquid 360 : 850w G2 : CableMod custom cables : Win 10 |
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19-08-08, 09:33 AM
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#83 | |
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Dalglish
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 4,510
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Quote:
 I got curious last night so copied the URL into my address bar with my gf stood beside me. Big mistake. 
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"My commitment to Liverpool is 100 per cent. I would die for that Liverpool shirt. I think the club loves me and I feel the same, no matter what the situation." - Pepe Reina, Nov '09. |
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19-08-08, 10:11 AM
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#84 | |
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Passion for fire alarms or extinguishers?
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 34,986
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Quote:
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i own everton fans on the internet....that's what i do |
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19-08-08, 10:17 AM
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#85 |
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Fagan
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,989
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yes
if you work at a sewerage plant
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Keep this quiet  if you carefully grind off the edges of a 50p coin you can use it as a 10p |
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19-08-08, 10:18 AM
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#86 | |
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Dalglish
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 4,510
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Quote:
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"My commitment to Liverpool is 100 per cent. I would die for that Liverpool shirt. I think the club loves me and I feel the same, no matter what the situation." - Pepe Reina, Nov '09. |
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19-08-08, 10:18 AM
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#87 |
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Fagan
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,989
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A Muslim terrorist has been shot dead by the Metropolitan police
When asked why the Muslim had 68 bullet wounds a police spokesman replied " thats all we had "
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Keep this quiet if you carefully grind off the edges of a 50p coin you can use it as a 10p |
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19-08-08, 07:36 PM
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#88 |
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Souness
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 33
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Every Cloud has a silver lining. I really sympathise with the Chinese earthquake victims, but just think of the paralympic team they're going to have in 2012!
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19-08-08, 08:15 PM
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#89 |
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Baron Münchhausen
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 4,634
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Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
Because they're ugly and they stink. What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing, you're already told her twice. |
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20-08-08, 12:33 AM
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#90 |
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Shooterista
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 32,026
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20-08-08, 01:38 PM
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#91 |
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Kloppite
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 24,819
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Two Asian heroin addicts have injected themselves with curry powder by mistake - both are in intensive care. One has a dodgy tikka and the other one is in a korma.
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20-08-08, 01:51 PM
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#92 | |
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Jalebi Cook
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 15,879
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Quote:
 
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We come not to play. |
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20-08-08, 03:05 PM
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#93 |
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Jerry Sadowitz
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,567
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I got a really nasty one which I ainty gonna post. PM me if ya want it
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"Through me the way into the suffering city, Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost. Justice urged on my high artificer; My maker was divine authority, The highest wisdom, and the primal love. Before me nothing but eternal things were made, And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." And like that… he's gone |
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20-08-08, 03:27 PM
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#94 |
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Jerry Sadowitz
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,567
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I was sitting on the settee watching a soppy film with my girlfriend. She was lying with her head in my lap.
Overcome with emotion after the film, she said, "give me a kiss dear." I said, "if I could reach down that far to kiss you, why would I need you in the first place?"
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"Through me the way into the suffering city, Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost. Justice urged on my high artificer; My maker was divine authority, The highest wisdom, and the primal love. Before me nothing but eternal things were made, And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." And like that… he's gone |
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20-08-08, 03:31 PM
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#95 |
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Jerry Sadowitz
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,567
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An American meets an Ethiopian.
The American says, "Fuck me, you look as is you've survived a famine!" The Ethiopian says, "You look as if you fucking caused it you fat cunt!
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"Through me the way into the suffering city, Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost. Justice urged on my high artificer; My maker was divine authority, The highest wisdom, and the primal love. Before me nothing but eternal things were made, And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." And like that… he's gone |
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20-08-08, 03:32 PM
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#96 |
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Jerry Sadowitz
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,567
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So, Gary Glitter had a "heart attack" when boarding the plane in Vietnam, did he?
Must have been all that excitement when they announced that the in-flight movie was "High School Musical".
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"Through me the way into the suffering city, Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost. Justice urged on my high artificer; My maker was divine authority, The highest wisdom, and the primal love. Before me nothing but eternal things were made, And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." And like that… he's gone |
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20-08-08, 03:35 PM
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#97 |
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Jerry Sadowitz
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,567
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I'm one of those people that likes to have a shit while I'm reading.
This is also the reason why I'm banned from Waterstones.
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"Through me the way into the suffering city, Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost. Justice urged on my high artificer; My maker was divine authority, The highest wisdom, and the primal love. Before me nothing but eternal things were made, And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." And like that… he's gone |
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20-08-08, 04:32 PM
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#98 | |
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George Soros
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 14,656
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Quote:
__________________
Cheers Subby www.subbytech.com - Use your "est" discount code to get 15% off everything in the store too MetalliGear Neo Qube : Ryzen 5900x : Gigabyte x570 Aorus Elite : 32GB Vengence 3600Mhz : Sabrent Gen 4 NVME SSD : RX580 : MasterLiquid 360 : 850w G2 : CableMod custom cables : Win 10 |
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20-08-08, 04:49 PM
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#99 |
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Quite Contrary
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 10,612
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oh go on then, me too!
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 RAFA |
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20-08-08, 05:11 PM
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#100 |
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Fagan
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,989
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you'll be sorry think about it, theres some pretty bad ones on this thread and Reaps has still shit out of posting these
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Keep this quiet if you carefully grind off the edges of a 50p coin you can use it as a 10p |
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20-08-08, 05:13 PM
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#101 |
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Quite Contrary
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 10,612
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ha ha ha we will see!!
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RAFA |
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20-08-08, 05:22 PM
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#102 |
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Out Patient
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 3,151
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Pm Me!!!!
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20-08-08, 06:25 PM
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#103 |
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Baron Münchhausen
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 4,634
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hope he hasnt stolen mine
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20-08-08, 07:45 PM
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#104 | |
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Benitez
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 763
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Quote:
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20-08-08, 08:22 PM
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#105 |
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Shooterista
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 32,026
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What do you call a man with no limbs in the sea..............................Bob.
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20-08-08, 09:43 PM
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#106 | |
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Anything
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 8,572
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Quote:
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That rug really tied the room together. |
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21-08-08, 09:57 AM
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#107 |
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Souness
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 47
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Man wearing a trench coat approaches a woman.
Woman says "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?" Man says "Bit of both, this is a rape" |
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21-08-08, 12:26 PM
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#108 |
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Jerry Sadowitz
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,567
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Gary Glitter has caused a hold up in an east Asian airport by refusing to allow his hand luggage to be checked
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"Through me the way into the suffering city, Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost. Justice urged on my high artificer; My maker was divine authority, The highest wisdom, and the primal love. Before me nothing but eternal things were made, And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." And like that… he's gone Last edited by Reaper; 21-08-08 at 12:51 PM. |
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21-08-08, 12:40 PM
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#109 |
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Dalglish
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 4,510
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__________________
"My commitment to Liverpool is 100 per cent. I would die for that Liverpool shirt. I think the club loves me and I feel the same, no matter what the situation." - Pepe Reina, Nov '09. |
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21-08-08, 12:47 PM
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#110 |
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Passion for fire alarms or extinguishers?
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 34,986
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 - playing footie tonight which will be followed by a few pints - writing some fo these down haha
__________________
i own everton fans on the internet....that's what i do |
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21-08-08, 12:52 PM
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#111 |
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Jerry Sadowitz
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,567
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I got a Charity appeal letter from the Tourettes Society today.
Apparently for just two pounds a week I can sponsor a child to fuck off you stupid cunt pissflapping bastard..
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"Through me the way into the suffering city, Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost. Justice urged on my high artificer; My maker was divine authority, The highest wisdom, and the primal love. Before me nothing but eternal things were made, And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." And like that… he's gone |
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21-08-08, 09:54 PM
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#112 |
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Jerry Sadowitz
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,567
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Women are like wine:
I can only afford the really cheap ones that have the big, ugly boxes that leak.
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"Through me the way into the suffering city, Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost. Justice urged on my high artificer; My maker was divine authority, The highest wisdom, and the primal love. Before me nothing but eternal things were made, And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." And like that… he's gone |
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21-08-08, 09:59 PM
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#113 |
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Jerry Sadowitz
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,567
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Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you are a paedophile, but you just haven't met the right child yet?
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"Through me the way into the suffering city, Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost. Justice urged on my high artificer; My maker was divine authority, The highest wisdom, and the primal love. Before me nothing but eternal things were made, And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." And like that… he's gone |
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21-08-08, 10:05 PM
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#114 |
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Jerry Sadowitz
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,567
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Old Father O'Malley was strolling through the church grounds one sunny summer evening, when he came upon a little frog sitting by a tree.
"My Lord," he said, picking it up: "You're the saddest, most forlorn-looking frog I've ever seen. I only wish you could speak, so that you might tell me your troubles." The frog replied, "Actually, I can. You see, I was once a choirboy in this very parish. One day I offended a passing Gypsy, and she put a curse on me that turned me into a talking frog." "Incredible!" said Father O'Malley. "Is there anything I might do to help you?" "Actually yes, there is. The Gypsy said that if I can find somebody to take me home and let me sleep in their bed, the curse will be lifted and I'll be back to normal." "Well," said Father O'Malley, "the good Lord teaches us to be charitable. I think I can manage that." So Father O'Malley picked up the little frog and put it in his pocket. That night he placed it gently on the pillow beside him and drifted off into a long, dreamy sleep. When he awoke the next morning, the frog had turned back into a choirboy, just as it had said it would. And that, Your Honour, is the case for the defence...
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"Through me the way into the suffering city, Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost. Justice urged on my high artificer; My maker was divine authority, The highest wisdom, and the primal love. Before me nothing but eternal things were made, And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." And like that… he's gone |
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21-08-08, 10:07 PM
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#115 |
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Jerry Sadowitz
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,567
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A friend of mine asked me how to try and convince his girlfriend to have anal sex.
I said, "forgiveness is always easier than permission."
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"Through me the way into the suffering city, Through me the way to the eternal pain, Through me the way that runs among the lost. Justice urged on my high artificer; My maker was divine authority, The highest wisdom, and the primal love. Before me nothing but eternal things were made, And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." And like that… he's gone |
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22-08-08, 02:49 AM
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#116 | |
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Dalglish
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,561
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Quote:
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"These stories have as much relation to the truth as an egg to a chestnut." - Racing Santander President Francisco Pernia |
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22-08-08, 04:01 PM
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#117 |
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Souness
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 5
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Why does Michael Barrymore have no ashtrays in his house?
He puts all the fags out in the pool. |
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22-08-08, 04:19 PM
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#118 |
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Dalglish
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 4,510
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__________________
"My commitment to Liverpool is 100 per cent. I would die for that Liverpool shirt. I think the club loves me and I feel the same, no matter what the situation." - Pepe Reina, Nov '09. |
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22-08-08, 04:25 PM
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#119 | |
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George Soros
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 14,656
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Quote:
__________________
Cheers Subby www.subbytech.com - Use your "est" discount code to get 15% off everything in the store too MetalliGear Neo Qube : Ryzen 5900x : Gigabyte x570 Aorus Elite : 32GB Vengence 3600Mhz : Sabrent Gen 4 NVME SSD : RX580 : MasterLiquid 360 : 850w G2 : CableMod custom cables : Win 10 |
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22-08-08, 05:49 PM
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#120 | |
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It's unbelievable Jeff!!
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,614
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Quote:
that is brilliant!!!
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People who think there's no good way to die have obviously never heard the phrase 'Drug-fuelled-sex-heart-attack'. |
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