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Old 24-10-09, 01:36 AM   #721
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FFS. that one is "what do you do if there's an epileptic in your bath? throw in your dirty clothes." the ignornace about epilepsy in the last couple of jokes is saddening.
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Old 24-10-09, 03:08 AM   #722
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Im sure it is. But have a read of this title. ffs who gives a fuck?? its a JOKE! sicker the better! its the only place we arnt censored!!
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Old 24-10-09, 09:03 AM   #723
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whoosh!!!
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Old 24-10-09, 01:59 PM   #724
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What do you call an epileptic in a bath? ............................Washing Machine.
You total cunt!! I had a brother who was epileptic and he actually died in the bath



















































He choked on a sock!!
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Old 24-10-09, 03:37 PM   #725
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You total cunt!! I had a brother who was epileptic and he actually died in the bath


















































He choked on a sock!!

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Old 25-10-09, 05:10 AM   #726
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You total cunt!! I had a brother who was epileptic and he actually died in the bath



















































He choked on a sock!!

Now that IS GOOD!!!!
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Old 30-10-09, 06:39 PM   #727
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So Andrew Lloyd Webber has cancer.

Well lets hope he's not going to make a song and dance about it.
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Old 02-11-09, 11:32 AM   #728
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I see that Michael Jacksons new film is rated PG.


Even in death the cunt cant be trusted with kids on their own.
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Old 04-11-09, 07:57 PM   #729
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Glove man.. for that joke you win ten internets
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Old 05-11-09, 06:27 PM   #730
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Whats 5 foot long and keeps women up screaming allnight?

Cot death.
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Old 05-11-09, 07:14 PM   #731
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A hillbilly fella walks up to his sister with a sheep under his arm.

"Honey," he says, "This is the pig I fuck when you’ve got your period."

His sister spits back, "For starters Einstein, that’s a sheep."

The hillbilly replies, "Well for starters I wasn’t talking to you."
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Old 05-11-09, 07:18 PM   #732
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A missionary gets sent into the deepest darkest Africa, and goes to live with a tribe there. He spends years with the people, teaching them to read, write, and the good Christian ways of the white man. One thing that he particularly stresses is the evil of sexual sin.

"Thou must not commit adultery or fornication!!!"

One day, the wife of one of the tribes’s noblemen gave birth to a white child. The village is shocked, and the chief is then sent by his people to talk with the missionary.

"You have taught us of the evils of sexual sin, yet here a black women gives birth to a white child. You are the only white man that has ever set foot in our village. I know what you’ve done!"

The missionary replies: "Oh, no, my good man - you are mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, called an albino. LOOK IN YONDER FIELD! You see a field of white sheep, yet amongst them is one black sheep. Nature does this on occasion."

The chief pauses a moment, and then says, "Tell you what - you don’t say anything about the sheep, I won’t say anything about the kid."
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Old 05-11-09, 07:23 PM   #733
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After her fifth child, Carol decided that she should have some cosmetic surgery "down below" to restore herself to her former youthful glory - cos her gammon was dangling a bit too low and looked like a ripped out fireplace.

Time and childbirth had taken its toll and she reckoned that, with five children now being the limit, she’d tidy things with a nip here and a tuck there so it looked more like a piggy bank slot, rather than a badly packed kebab.

Following the operation she awoke from her anaesthetic to find three roses at the end of the bed.

"Who are these from ?" she asked the nurse, "They’re very nice but I’m a bit confused as to why I’ve received them."

"Well" said the nurse, "The first is from the surgeon - the operation went so well and you were such a model patient that he wanted to say thanks"
"Ahhh, that’s really nice" said Carol

"The second is from your husband - he’s delighted the operation was such a success that he can’t wait to get you home. Apparently it’ll be the first time he’s touched the sides for years and he’s very excited!".
"Brilliant!" said Carol. "And the third?"

"That’s from Eric in the burns unit" said the nurse.
"He just wanted to say thanks for his new ears."
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Old 05-11-09, 07:24 PM   #734
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Twelve priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy and beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them.

Each priest had a small bell attached to his penis and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.

The beautiful model danced before the first candidate, with no reaction.

She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest (Carlos).

As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off and fell clattering to the ground.

Embarrassed, Carlos took a few steps forward, and bent over to pick it up.

Then ... all the other bells started to ring!
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Old 05-11-09, 07:43 PM   #735
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Old 06-11-09, 10:31 PM   #736
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The boy is on form tonight
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Old 11-01-10, 10:01 AM   #737
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Tasteless joke time.......Adebayor.....

Does anybody know if Adebayor ran the length of the bus to celebrate infront of the Gunners?
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Old 11-01-10, 10:46 AM   #738
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Does anybody know if Adebayor ran the length of the bus to celebrate infront of the Gunners?

First time ever the African Cup of Nations has opened with a shoot-out...
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Old 11-01-10, 11:02 AM   #739
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Ive always loved my wifes Fanny.

The neatly trimmed pubic hair, the soft skin at the top of her thighs, her erect clitoris, her tight but wet vaginal opening....its just the rest of the cunt I cant stand.
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Old 12-01-10, 04:20 PM   #740
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The newspaper said 'In this hazardous weather, please make sure youre neighbours are ok'. The woman next door to me is 87. Not once has she knocked to see if Im alright, lazy bitch hasnt even taken her milk in for 2 weeks.
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Old 12-01-10, 05:41 PM   #741
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Ive always loved my wifes Fanny.

The neatly trimmed pubic hair, the soft skin at the top of her thighs, her erect clitoris, her tight but wet vaginal opening....its just the rest of the cunt I cant stand.
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Old 12-01-10, 05:55 PM   #742
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I LOLed at both of The Glove's jokes, I'm worried.
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Old 12-01-10, 05:58 PM   #743
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I LOLed at both of The Glove's jokes, I'm worried.
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Old 12-01-10, 07:59 PM   #744
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"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
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Old 12-01-10, 08:19 PM   #745
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^ Destined to be a super-villain
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Old 13-01-10, 02:24 PM   #746
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Good to see she is still in good spirit posing for the camera.
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Old 14-01-10, 09:38 AM   #747
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The newspaper said 'In this hazardous weather, please make sure youre neighbours are ok'. The woman next door to me is 87. Not once has she knocked to see if Im alright, lazy bitch hasnt even taken her milk in for 2 weeks.






























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Old 14-01-10, 09:39 AM   #748
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I take it she is dead considering half her face is missing?
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Old 14-01-10, 11:21 AM   #749
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I think the big autopsy scar down the centre of her chest is a good indicator mate
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"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
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Old 14-01-10, 01:14 PM   #750
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oh aye didn't see that for the excellent Skeletor impression she was doing

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Old 14-01-10, 02:08 PM   #751
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I'm quite glad I can't see Reaper's picture.
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Old 14-01-10, 09:33 PM   #752
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BREAKING NEWS



Man City manager Mancini has promised at least one new face at Eastlands in the Jan transfer window





Lescott and Tevez are fighting over it.
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Old 14-01-10, 09:35 PM   #753
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Is it too early to joke about Haiti?




.
Or should we wait for the dust to settle!?
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Old 15-01-10, 12:36 AM   #754
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I can sympathize with them.. I have trouble finding my house after 30 aftershocks too!
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"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
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Old 15-01-10, 10:59 PM   #755
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African Cup of Nations? What a load of shit, 327 shots, Only 3 on target.........
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Old 16-01-10, 07:34 PM   #756
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i know how those poor bastards in Haiti feel. Last time i had 30 aftershocks i couldn't find my fucking house either.
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Old 17-01-10, 04:00 PM   #757
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That one has been done.. Only two posts above yours I may add
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"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
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Old 17-01-10, 11:04 PM   #758
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The President of Haiti has thanked Liverpool football club for the 120 minutes of silence during the Reading game.
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Old 17-01-10, 11:46 PM   #759
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Quote:
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I can sympathize with them.. I have trouble finding my house after 30 aftershocks too!





Quote:
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i know how those poor bastards in Haiti feel. Last time i had 30 aftershocks i couldn't find my fucking house either.
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Old 18-01-10, 12:03 AM   #760
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What is big long and hard for a girl to take?

Third grade :P
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