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28-12-18, 08:44 AM
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#2721 |
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Expect the Wurst
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 4,190
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I'm so glad I'm not on Facebook
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28-12-18, 11:02 AM
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#2722 |
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Dan Ashcroft
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 47,852
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That's weak
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VAR is utter bollocks |
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30-12-18, 11:24 PM
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#2723 |
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Micka "don't f*** with me" Wallace
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 15,091
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I made a Belgian waffle this morning.
I made a Frenchman talk shit this afternoon.
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Klopp on LFC vs MUFC (March 9th 2016) - "This is why I love football. This is why we watched it when we were young. I can still not have enough of it."   Always, keep your face to the sun, and shadows will fall behind you. |
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31-12-18, 02:30 AM
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#2724 |
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Big Girl's Blouse
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 28,543
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Fredo?
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https://connect.garmin.com/modern/profile/Norbs69 |
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27-03-19, 08:00 PM
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#2725 |
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Paisley
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 22,084
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Why was the four year old child of the anti-vax parent crying?
Mid-life crisis.
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If it's a girl they're calling her Sigorney after an actress and if it's a boy they're naming him Rodney after Dave. |
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30-03-19, 07:23 PM
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#2726 |
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Micka "don't f*** with me" Wallace
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 15,091
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How does a paedophile find an 8 year old in the woods?
Quite satisfying.
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Klopp on LFC vs MUFC (March 9th 2016) - "This is why I love football. This is why we watched it when we were young. I can still not have enough of it." Always, keep your face to the sun, and shadows will fall behind you. Last edited by Slinky Skills; 30-03-19 at 09:11 PM. |
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09-04-19, 04:36 AM
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#2727 |
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Paisley
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 20,980
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Anybody who criticizes Klopp ever is a James Blunt. Nov 2015 #FUCKCITY |
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16-04-19, 01:12 PM
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#2728 |
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Dalglish
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,595
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One eye witness to the Notre Dam Fire says he's not sure who started the fire but he has a hunch!
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Nope, don't need anger management, you just need to stop pissing me off! |
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16-04-19, 01:14 PM
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#2729 | |
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Takin' Her Easy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 34,573
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Quote:
 
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Like blood on iron |
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16-04-19, 01:15 PM
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#2730 |
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Fagan
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,451
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Fire is destroying a world famous landmark in Paris right now.
And there’s notre dame thing they can do about it. |
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16-04-19, 01:19 PM
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#2731 | |
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Dalglish
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,595
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Quote:
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Nope, don't need anger management, you just need to stop pissing me off! |
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21-07-19, 10:20 AM
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#2732 |
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Micka "don't f*** with me" Wallace
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 15,091
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A man walks into a hardware store and speaks to the cashier...
“Got any two watt bulbs?” “For what?” “That’ll do I’ll take two.” “Two what?” “I thought you didn’t have any.” “Any what?” “Ok then!”
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Klopp on LFC vs MUFC (March 9th 2016) - "This is why I love football. This is why we watched it when we were young. I can still not have enough of it." Always, keep your face to the sun, and shadows will fall behind you. |
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21-07-19, 01:56 PM
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#2733 |
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Paisley
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 22,084
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I'm sure it's been said many times in this thread it's poor taste not poor
Haha
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If it's a girl they're calling her Sigorney after an actress and if it's a boy they're naming him Rodney after Dave. |
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21-07-19, 02:12 PM
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#2734 | |
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Takin' Her Easy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 34,573
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Quote:
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Like blood on iron |
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21-07-19, 04:00 PM
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#2735 | |
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El Pistolero
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 35,765
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Quote:
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"Its not about the long ball or the short ball, its about the right ball." Bob Paisley |
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26-07-19, 09:49 AM
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#2736 | |||
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Micka "don't f*** with me" Wallace
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 15,091
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
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Klopp on LFC vs MUFC (March 9th 2016) - "This is why I love football. This is why we watched it when we were young. I can still not have enough of it." Always, keep your face to the sun, and shadows will fall behind you. |
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03-09-19, 10:07 PM
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#2737 |
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Micka "don't f*** with me" Wallace
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 15,091
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Edit
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Klopp on LFC vs MUFC (March 9th 2016) - "This is why I love football. This is why we watched it when we were young. I can still not have enough of it." Always, keep your face to the sun, and shadows will fall behind you. |
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19-09-19, 02:02 AM
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#2738 |
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Houllier
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 372
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Crowd of blokes in a pub and a woman walks past. Bloke says to his mates "I'd give her one"
The woman turns around "I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last man on earth" The bloke replies "Who said anything about sex, I was marking you out out of ten you fat [email protected]#t!"
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All you touch and all you see Is all your life will ever be |
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20-09-19, 03:20 PM
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#2739 | |
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Donald Buzzworth
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 34,072
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Quote:
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21-09-19, 10:31 PM
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#2740 | |
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Expect the Wurst
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 4,190
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Quote:
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21-09-19, 10:36 PM
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#2741 |
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Expect the Wurst
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 4,190
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.... (distracted dupe)
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21-09-19, 10:43 PM
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#2742 | |
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Takin' Her Easy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 34,573
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Quote:
I'd been searching for a way to say that, without saying that, if you get me
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Like blood on iron |
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21-09-19, 11:28 PM
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#2743 |
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Micka "don't f*** with me" Wallace
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 15,091
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What's pink and dusty?
Madelaine McCann's tricycle.
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Klopp on LFC vs MUFC (March 9th 2016) - "This is why I love football. This is why we watched it when we were young. I can still not have enough of it." Always, keep your face to the sun, and shadows will fall behind you. |
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22-09-19, 08:14 AM
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#2744 |
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Big Girl's Blouse
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 28,543
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That's a ancient recycled joke, not very original
What's pink and fluffy and haven't moved for ages? Rock Hudson's slippers What's rusty and chained up in Canterbury cathedral? Terry Waite's bike
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https://connect.garmin.com/modern/profile/Norbs69 |
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23-09-19, 11:44 PM
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#2745 |
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aka liverpooltj
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 25,806
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Everon are the longest running British comedy. Don't think Only Fools and Horses or Last of the Summer wine went on longer than 120 years.
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08-10-19, 11:20 AM
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#2746 |
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Daddy day care
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 20,574
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Deleted. But its a cracker
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☆☆☆☆☆☆ Champions of Europe. removing all the weak links makes us stronger too many gutless players, no beef or desire. pussies everywhere... sack them all, but not VVD or Alisson |
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11-10-19, 12:42 PM
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#2747 |
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Daddy day care
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 20,574
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A young Geordie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job.
The manager asked "Do you have any sales experience?" The young man answered "Aye, hods, I was a canny salesman back in Newcastle." The manager liked the Geordie so he gave him the job. His first day on the job was challenging and busy, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the manager came down and asked "OK,...... so how many sales did you make today?" The Geordie said "Just the one, Marra." The manager groaned and continued "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for? £124,237.64" replied the Geordie. The manager choked and exclaimed £124,237.64, what the hell did you sell him?" "Well, forst I selt him a smaal fish hook, then a medium fish hook, and then I selt him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was gannin' fishing and he said doon at the coast, so I telt him he would need a boat, so we went doon tiv the boat department and I selt him that twin-engined Power Cat. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him doon tiv the car sales and I selt him the 4 x 4 Suzuki". The manager, incredulous, said "You mean to tell me....a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and 4x4?" "Nah, nah......he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his ladyfriend and I said......... 'Well, since ya weekend's fucked, you might as well gan fishing."
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☆☆☆☆☆☆ Champions of Europe. removing all the weak links makes us stronger too many gutless players, no beef or desire. pussies everywhere... sack them all, but not VVD or Alisson |
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11-10-19, 02:52 PM
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#2748 |
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Paisley
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 13,616
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Agreed, think that's a bit much.
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11-10-19, 03:41 PM
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#2749 | |
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Dalglish
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,595
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Quote:
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Nope, don't need anger management, you just need to stop pissing me off! |
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11-10-19, 09:12 PM
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#2750 |
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Dalglish
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,617
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Wife was cleaning 12 year old son's bedroom when she finds a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags.
She asks her husband "what do we do?" Husband says"I'm no expert, but I wouldn't fucking spank him." |
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11-10-19, 10:01 PM
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#2751 | |
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Shankly
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 5,801
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Quote:
 Thats less a joke than a sign of the times. The fact that you even think it's ok to post sickens me. |
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11-10-19, 11:05 PM
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#2752 | |
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Shankly
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 8,474
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Quote:
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“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.” Bob's Miserable Bastards Club Member #2 |
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13-10-19, 05:57 PM
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#2753 |
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Evans
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 106
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__________________
Virg! |
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14-10-19, 10:16 AM
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#2754 |
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Dan Ashcroft
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 47,852
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Comedy really is highly subjective. I watched that and thought it was rubbish.
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VAR is utter bollocks |
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14-10-19, 10:34 AM
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#2755 | |
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Takin' Her Easy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 34,573
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Quote:
__________________
Like blood on iron |
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14-10-19, 02:04 PM
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#2756 | |
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Daddy day care
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 20,574
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Quote:
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☆☆☆☆☆☆ Champions of Europe. removing all the weak links makes us stronger too many gutless players, no beef or desire. pussies everywhere... sack them all, but not VVD or Alisson Last edited by baitman; 14-10-19 at 02:07 PM. |
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14-10-19, 03:54 PM
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#2758 |
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Dan Ashcroft
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 47,852
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It wasn't the style or even the topics, it was just that there were only 2 or 3 jokes that landed in 24 minutes, which is not enough for me.
__________________
VAR is utter bollocks |
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14-10-19, 04:45 PM
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#2759 |
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Evans
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 106
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I found it hilarious. As you say, its subjective, but the crowd were certainly enjoying too, so I'm not alone...
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Virg! |
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14-10-19, 05:06 PM
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#2760 |
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Shankly
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 5,801
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Do you have any other recommendations I can swerve?
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