24-10-08, 12:30 PM
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#1
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Paul Burrell
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 12,122
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Joke to tell in the bar tonight...
Did anyone hear about that actress that was murdered today by Christian Slater...? Yeah, her name was Reece, Reece, oh what's her name...?
You'll have everyone's attention and some clever bastard will say, "Witherspoon?"
To which you reply, "no, with a knife."
__________________
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Don't take life too seriously or you'll never get out alive.
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24-10-08, 01:08 PM
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#2
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El Pistolero
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 35,786
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob
Did anyone hear about that actress that was murdered today by Christian Slater...? Yeah, her name was Reece, Reece, oh what's her name...?
You'll have everyone's attention and some clever bastard will say, "Witherspoon?"
To which you reply, "no, with a knife." 
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Never heard of Reece Witherknife.
__________________
"Its not about the long ball or the short ball, its about the right ball." Bob Paisley
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24-10-08, 01:38 PM
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#3
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Passion for fire alarms or extinguishers?
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 34,969
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Quote:
Originally Posted by looprevil
Never heard of Reece Witherknife. 
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__________________
i own everton fans on the internet....that's what i do
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24-10-08, 01:42 PM
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#4
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Dalglish
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,834
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I quite like Christian Slater. Couldn't you make it Jude Law or someone instead? I'm not as keen on him.
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24-10-08, 01:44 PM
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#5
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Paul Burrell
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 12,122
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Quote:
Originally Posted by looprevil
Never heard of Reece Witherknife. 
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Yip better, just say she killed herself and fuck off the Christian Slater bit.
__________________
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Don't take life too seriously or you'll never get out alive.
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24-10-08, 01:51 PM
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#6
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El Pistolero
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 35,786
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob
Yip better, just say she killed herself and fuck off the Christian Slater bit. 
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err, ok Bob.
__________________
"Its not about the long ball or the short ball, its about the right ball." Bob Paisley
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24-10-08, 01:52 PM
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#7
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Prosecco Socialist
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 62,564
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob
Yip better, just say she killed herself and fuck off the Christian Slater bit.
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Either way it's tragic. She was only 32.
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24-10-08, 01:56 PM
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#8
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Baron Münchhausen
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 4,634
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the al fellas remenber it about the boxer tim witherspoon
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24-10-08, 02:00 PM
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#9
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Paul Burrell
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 12,122
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elvoz
the al fellas remenber it about the boxer tim witherspoon 
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No. With her knife.
__________________
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Don't take life too seriously or you'll never get out alive.
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24-10-08, 02:11 PM
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#10
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Dalglish
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,561
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wait she died? :O
__________________
"These stories have as much relation to the truth as an egg to a chestnut." - Racing Santander President Francisco Pernia
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24-10-08, 02:14 PM
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#11
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Paul Burrell
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 12,122
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tommyg
wait she died? :O
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Nope - it's a joke.
__________________
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Don't take life too seriously or you'll never get out alive.
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24-10-08, 02:15 PM
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#12
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Dalglish
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,561
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob
Nope - it's a joke.
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thought so lol, even googled it just to check lol
__________________
"These stories have as much relation to the truth as an egg to a chestnut." - Racing Santander President Francisco Pernia
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24-10-08, 02:15 PM
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#13
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Dalglish
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,834
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elvoz
the al fellas remenber it about the boxer tim witherspoon 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob
No. With her knife. 
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Actually, if I recall correctly Slater was quite a big boxing fan. Perhaps he was out to get some kind of revenge. This story gets worse by the minute.
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24-10-08, 02:22 PM
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#14
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Anti-Antipodeanite
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 23,939
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Sad news. I would have happily given her one. My condolences go out to her family :candle:
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24-10-08, 02:26 PM
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#15
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El Pistolero
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 35,786
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pablo1981
Sad news. I would have happily given her one. My condolences go out to her family :candle:
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TTINGWP
__________________
"Its not about the long ball or the short ball, its about the right ball." Bob Paisley
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24-10-08, 03:01 PM
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#16
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Prosecco Socialist
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 62,564
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zimbo
Actually, if I recall correctly Slater was quite a big boxing fan. Perhaps he was out to get some kind of revenge. This story gets worse by the minute.
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But supposedly he didn't actually do it. He's been set up, it must be a conspiracy.
Maybe Witherspoon found out about the new World Government, they bumped her off and Slater is the patsy.
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24-10-08, 03:05 PM
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#17
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Anti-Antipodeanite
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 23,939
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neil Young
But supposedly he didn't actually do it. He's been set up, it must be a conspiracy.
Maybe Witherspoon found out about the new World Government, they bumped her off and Slater is the patsy.

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[waits for Nicey to enter the thread]
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24-10-08, 03:13 PM
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#18
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Dalglish
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,834
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neil Young
But supposedly he didn't actually do it. He's been set up, it must be a conspiracy.
Maybe Witherspoon found out about the new World Government, they bumped her off and Slater is the patsy.

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Apparently if you follow the rabbit-hole all the way down, it comes out in Iceland, where Gordon Brown and David Icke are busy arm-wrestling with our robot-martian overlords whilst spitting at Witherspoon's still-warm corpse. Or something.
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24-10-08, 03:38 PM
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#19
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Paul Burrell
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 12,122
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Just told it at afternoon coffee, brought the house down.
__________________
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Don't take life too seriously or you'll never get out alive.
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24-10-08, 03:49 PM
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#20
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 77,363
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Reece Witherspoon?
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24-10-08, 04:01 PM
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#21
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Prosecco Socialist
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 62,564
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You've just killed this thread, Reecey.
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24-10-08, 04:01 PM
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#22
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El Pistolero
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 35,786
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I thought she was a blonde?
__________________
"Its not about the long ball or the short ball, its about the right ball." Bob Paisley
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24-10-08, 04:02 PM
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#23
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Prosecco Socialist
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 62,564
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Legally, yes.
Last edited by Neil Young; 24-10-08 at 04:10 PM.
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24-10-08, 04:50 PM
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#24
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Paul Burrell
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 12,122
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neil Young
Legally, yes.
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__________________
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Don't take life too seriously or you'll never get out alive.
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25-10-08, 10:37 AM
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#26
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Shooterista
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 32,026
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Reece
Reece Witherspoon?
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And you can see the murderers reflection too....
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25-10-08, 09:42 PM
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#27
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Dressed up as Batman?
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 130,728
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__________________
Fucking chances, goals
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28-10-08, 02:01 PM
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#28
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Fagan
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,370
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On a similar theme...
Ken Dodd died
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28-10-08, 03:10 PM
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#29
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El Pistolero
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 35,786
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fan65
On a similar theme...
Ken Dodd died
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..and...
__________________
"Its not about the long ball or the short ball, its about the right ball." Bob Paisley
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28-10-08, 03:33 PM
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#30
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Fagan
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,370
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Quote:
Originally Posted by looprevil
..and...
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No no no...
you're supposed to say "Did He ? "
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28-10-08, 05:31 PM
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#31
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George Soros
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 14,237
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this joke is going slow...
__________________
Cheers
Subby
MetalliGear Neo Qube : Ryzen 3600 : Gigabyte x570 Aorus Elite : DDR4 3600Mhz : Sabrent Gen 4 NVME SSD : ROG Strix Vega 64 : MasterLiquid 360 : 750w G2 : CableMod custom cables : Win 10
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28-10-08, 05:31 PM
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#32
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George Soros
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 14,237
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fan65
On a similar theme...
Ken Dodd died
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*cough*
did he??
__________________
Cheers
Subby
MetalliGear Neo Qube : Ryzen 3600 : Gigabyte x570 Aorus Elite : DDR4 3600Mhz : Sabrent Gen 4 NVME SSD : ROG Strix Vega 64 : MasterLiquid 360 : 750w G2 : CableMod custom cables : Win 10
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29-10-08, 08:51 AM
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#33
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Fagan
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,370
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Subby
*cough*
did he?? 
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No...Doddy !!!!
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29-10-08, 01:54 PM
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#34
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El Pistolero
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 35,786
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fan65
No...Doddy !!!!
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His name isn't Ken Doddy though...
__________________
"Its not about the long ball or the short ball, its about the right ball." Bob Paisley
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29-10-08, 02:17 PM
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#35
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Prosecco Socialist
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 62,564
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Quote:
Originally Posted by looprevil
His name isn't Ken Doddy though... 
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And he isn't dead.
The story just doesn't stand up which is ironic given he was a comedian.
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29-10-08, 02:57 PM
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#36
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Paisley
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 19,797
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I'm going to see Ken Dodd next week you'll all be fascinated to hear
__________________
Sack swinging like Dub-D40 on a door hinge
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29-10-08, 04:00 PM
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#37
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Fagan
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,370
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neil Young
And he isn't dead.
The story just doesn't stand up which is ironic given he was a comedian.
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" Ken Dodd died"
" Diddy ? "
" No..Doddy"
Hmmm maybe you're right
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29-10-08, 04:02 PM
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#38
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Prosecco Socialist
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 62,564
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fan65
" Ken Dodd died"
" Diddy ? "
" No..Doddy"
Hmmm maybe you're right
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I hope so otherwise wiw's going to have a pretty quiet evening next week.
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29-10-08, 04:23 PM
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#39
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El Pistolero
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 35,786
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neil Young
I hope so otherwise wiw's going to have a pretty quiet evening next week.
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 He can always get up on stage and see how the original Slater/Witherknife joke goes down with the punters.
__________________
"Its not about the long ball or the short ball, its about the right ball." Bob Paisley
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29-10-08, 04:52 PM
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#40
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Souness
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 85
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I'm going to see Ken Dodd as well. Where are you sitting?
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