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Old 01-06-08, 08:27 PM   #1
Angry Dan
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 948
Talking dog

A man is driving around the back woods of Cornwall and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house:

"Talking Dog for Sale"

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The man goes into the back yard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yeah," the lab replies.

After the man recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told MI5 and they had me sworn into the toughest branch of the armed forces...Her Majesties “Royal Marines”.
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders; because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running, but the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger. So, I decided to settle down.

I retired from the Corps (8 dog years is 56 Corps years) and signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The man is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten quid," the farmer says.

"Ten quid? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's such a bullshitter .. He never did any of that shit. He was in the fucking Navy!"
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Liver Bird
Old 01-06-08, 08:51 PM   #2
I'm Slovakian really!
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,966
honestly i scroled back up to see if it's one of tufty's jokes
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Old 01-06-08, 09:04 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by SloKopite View Post
honestly i scroled back up to see if it's one of tufty's jokes

Keep this quiet
if you carefully grind off the edges of a 50p coin you can use it as a 10p

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Old 02-06-08, 10:22 AM   #4
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Old 02-06-08, 11:08 AM   #5
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A Tufty

Sillyness in motion

Last edited by Assassin; 02-06-08 at 11:10 AM.
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