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Old 22-09-10, 02:08 PM   #1
5europeancups
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Millions to watch commonwealth games to see if something collapses

22-09-10

MILLIONS of people who had no intention of watching the Commonwealth Games are now eager to tune in just to see if the stadium collapses.


The state of the art Jawaharlal Nehru Stadium can bury up to 80,000 people

Organisers had feared mass indifference to the world's most irrelevant sporting spectacular but now anticipate record figures based on the treacherous state of the multi-hundred pound facilities.

Some of the best action is expected to be in the velodrome, which was completed in a personal best of just under two hours by a gang of Filipino infants and is really just of a lot of old magazines piled precariously on top of each other.

Meanwhile the bottom of the Delhi Commonwealth pool was finished late last night with some sheets of grease-proof paper and a couple of packs of India's version of blu-tak.

Sports construction analyst Stephen Malley said: "About three or four seconds into the men's 100m backstroke the bottom should give way and all the swimmers will be sucked down what will look to the TV viewers at home like a giant plughole. God only knows what happens to them after that."

Audiences can also look forward to seeing some of the world's least famous athletes competing while severely traumatised from spending the night in the Commonwealth Village.

Malley added: "Watch out for the Canadian long jumper Kirk McKenzie lying on the track weeping like a grandmother and trying to wash himself with a single sheet of wet toilet paper.

"It is going to be a challenge to break 8.5 metres when you've been sitting up in bed all night, clutching the blanket to your chin and listening intently for signs of chronic structural weakness."

Experts said the exciting gap between the promise and the reality of Delhi's Commonwealth facilities reflected the amazing richness and diversity of India in the 21st century.

Tom Booker, author of India: Land of F*ck Me, What's that Stench? said: "Remember this is a society with cholera and a space programme. It is a society divided between the 20 or so people who appear on the Sunday Times Rich List and think the entire world looks like the lobby of a five star hotel and the other billion who live knee deep in their own shite."

He added: "Given that about 80 people die in India whenever someone opens a cupboard, if they can keep the Commonwealth Games death toll to under 3000 it should be regarded as unqualified success."
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Old 22-09-10, 02:27 PM   #2
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fuckin hell
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Old 22-09-10, 02:29 PM   #3
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Old 22-09-10, 02:55 PM   #4
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It's all a big fucking sham I tell you. The budget for the CWG this yr is $7 billion and more than two thirds of it will be lined by the uber corrupt politicians.

The whole thing is a replica of how the Indian Govt works. People have been crying out since a long time to privatize a lot of Public Sector Govt Utilities but if they do that the "ruling party" will lose it's share of the pie and hence they don't.

I hope the whole CWG shows us under poor light so that people can really see that it isn't about the CWG but about the corrupt bureaucrats.

PS: I don't think 3,000 will die. The hygiene standards here are far below than what the West practice. We are immune to all kinds of diseases here. I really don't see even 100 people dying.
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Old 22-09-10, 02:59 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 5europeancups View Post
22-09-10

MILLIONS of people who had no intention of watching the Commonwealth Games are now eager to tune in just to see if the stadium collapses.


The state of the art Jawaharlal Nehru Stadium can bury up to 80,000 people

"
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Old 22-09-10, 03:06 PM   #6
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guys, this was a satirical piece from a famous online rag that satirises cuurent stories and there reporting.

that's why it was placed in this folder

Please chill out...
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Old 22-09-10, 03:09 PM   #7
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Very tasteful. Not surprising when I see who has posted it though.
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Old 22-09-10, 03:10 PM   #8
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Its a Dailymash article.
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Old 22-09-10, 03:11 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 5europeancups View Post
guys, this was a satirical piece from a famous online rag that satirises cuurent stories and there reporting.

that's why it was placed in this folder

Please chill out...
Obviously you found it funny though. Satire? Seriously? Not worth my time and energy telling YOU what I think.......
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Old 22-09-10, 03:13 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by -V- View Post
Obviously you found it funny though. Satire? Seriously? Not worth my time and energy telling YOU what I think.......
well then stop it.
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Old 22-09-10, 03:41 PM   #11
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People have a problem with the possible racist implications of this I'm guessing. It's a pity Nigeria weren't hosting some sort of competition. Then we would all have been free to laugh at them. Like with the title of this.

http://www.est1892.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=70693
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Old 22-09-10, 03:42 PM   #12
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People have a problem with the possible racist implications of this I'm guessing. It's a pity Nigeria weren't hosting some sort of competition. Then we would all have been free to laugh at them. Like with the title of this.

http://www.est1892.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=70693
Where is the racism in that thread?
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Old 22-09-10, 03:44 PM   #13
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Yeah, where is the Racism?

I thought it was about the 'bad taste' style of writing
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Old 22-09-10, 03:47 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by badpiggy View Post
People have a problem with the possible racist implications of this I'm guessing. It's a pity Nigeria weren't hosting some sort of competition. Then we would all have been free to laugh at them. Like with the title of this.

http://www.est1892.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=70693
really?

I thought peoples problem was with the talk of stadium disasters, maybe I was reading too much into it, not that I found it that offensive.
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Old 22-09-10, 03:47 PM   #15
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Probably the title

"I bet they were nigerian!"

?
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Old 22-09-10, 03:48 PM   #16
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really?

I thought peoples problem was with the talk of stadium disasters, maybe I was reading too much into it, not that I found it that offensive.
Yep

Bad Taste especially on a LFC forum
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Old 22-09-10, 04:01 PM   #17
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'I bet they were nigerian'. Thats obviously a joke about the nigerian scammers because the story is about a scam. duh.

Thats not the same as sayings lets watch to see if thousands of nigerians die or not. Or if a billion nigerians live knee deep in their own shit
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Old 22-09-10, 04:15 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by -V- View Post
'I bet they were nigerian'. Thats obviously a joke about the nigerian scammers because the story is about a scam. duh.

Thats not the same as sayings lets watch to see if thousands of nigerians die or not. Or if a billion nigerians live knee deep in their own shit
:haha You're right. Your headline - and now your explanation - only states that scam = Nigerians.

Look man - i don't give a fuck about this but if you can't see your double standard here then forget it. I kinda laughed at your headline as well cos there's an element of truth behind every stereotype. I took this one as being satirical about hygiene and safety standards in India. You seem to be just sitting there waiting to be selectively offended.
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Old 22-09-10, 04:41 PM   #19
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Calm down badpiggy,no one is talking about racism,but you.
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Old 22-09-10, 04:58 PM   #20
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I'm not either! I'm talking about a very obvious double standard. That involves race.
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Old 22-09-10, 05:21 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by badpiggy View Post
People have a problem with the possible racist implications of this I'm guessing. It's a pity Nigeria weren't hosting some sort of competition. Then we would all have been free to laugh at them. Like with the title of this.

http://www.est1892.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=70693
Quote:
Originally Posted by badpiggy View Post
I'm not either! I'm talking about a very obvious double standard. That involves race.
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Old 22-09-10, 06:47 PM   #22
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"People have a problem with the possible racist implications of this I'm guessing " is indeed what I said. Not me though. And in fairness for the last time it's the double standard from -V- specifically that I'm talking about. Can we just fuckin leave it cos the man himself ain't getting involved and I will have posted his response here in his "all nigerians are scammers" thread and not the other way round.
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