 |
 |
 |
 |
29-01-22, 10:57 PM
|
#3001 |
|
Donald Buzzworth
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 51,797
|
__________________
Create a memory |
|
|
|
30-01-22, 06:02 PM
|
#3002 |
|
Special Kind of Scum
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 12,492
|
I wonder who could tell that joke?
__________________
"But thus I counsel you, my friends: Mistrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful. They are people of a low sort and stock; the hangmen and the bloodhound look out of their faces. Mistrust all who talk much of their justice!" |
|
|
|
|
30-01-22, 06:36 PM
|
#3003 | |
|
Donald Buzzworth
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 51,797
|
Quote:
Yeah I dunno. The punchline would take a bit of telling. I love a shaggy dog story though.
__________________
Create a memory |
|
|
|
|
|
01-02-22, 04:53 PM
|
#3004 |
|
Daddy day care
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 23,786
|
A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home. 'Where have you been?' his wife demanded. 'I can't lie to you,' he replied, 'I'm having an affair with my secretary and we had sex all afternoon.' She looked down at his shoes and said: 'You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!'
__________________
removing all the weak links makes us stronger too many gutless players, no beef or desire. pussies everywhere... sack them all, but not VVD or Fabinho |
|
|
|
|
01-02-22, 09:26 PM
|
#3005 |
|
Big Girl's Blouse
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 36,244
|
|
|
|
|
|
02-02-22, 04:01 PM
|
#3006 |
|
George Soros
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 14,648
|
I dont' get it....fuck!
 the arms rotating joke.
__________________
Cheers Subby www.subbytech.com - Use your "est" discount code to get 15% off everything in the store too  MetalliGear Neo Qube : Ryzen 5900x : Gigabyte x570 Aorus Elite : 32GB Vengence 3600Mhz : Sabrent Gen 4 NVME SSD : RX580 : MasterLiquid 360 : 850w G2 : CableMod custom cables : Win 10 |
|
|
|
|
02-02-22, 04:35 PM
|
#3007 |
|
Paisley
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 27,615
|
Is it not that he just asked for something really stupid? If not I don't get it either...
__________________
Football without Origi is nothing |
|
|
|
|
03-02-22, 11:23 AM
|
#3008 |
|
Paisley
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 10,106
|
the anticipation on that arms rotating thing was brilliant.......the punchline was such a let-down!!!
|
|
|
|
|
03-02-22, 01:04 PM
|
#3009 |
|
Special Kind of Scum
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 12,492
|
I laugh every time I think of it.
__________________
"But thus I counsel you, my friends: Mistrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful. They are people of a low sort and stock; the hangmen and the bloodhound look out of their faces. Mistrust all who talk much of their justice!" |
|
|
|
|
03-02-22, 03:10 PM
|
#3010 | |
|
Donald Buzzworth
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 51,797
|
Quote:
It’s the expectation that his reveal was going to be epic, and that the other guys would in some way not be satisfied and morally bankrupt. Instead he just admits that he fucked it up. It’s genius.
__________________
Create a memory |
|
|
|
|
|
04-02-22, 12:59 AM
|
#3011 |
|
Paisley
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 27,615
|
I'm fairly sure the man with an organe for a head joke is in here as well. Its the same premise.
__________________
Football without Origi is nothing |
|
|
|
|
04-02-22, 01:00 AM
|
#3012 | |
|
Paisley
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 27,615
|
Yep. Here it is. Classic
Quote:
__________________
Football without Origi is nothing |
|
|
|
|
|
04-02-22, 11:25 AM
|
#3013 |
|
Micka "don't f*** with me" Wallace
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 17,714
|
Hahaha!
__________________
Klopp on LFC vs MUFC (March 9th 2016) - "This is why I love football. This is why we watched it when we were young. I can still not have enough of it."  Always, keep your face to the sun, and shadows will fall behind you. |
|
|
|
|
04-02-22, 04:52 PM
|
#3014 | |
|
Donald Buzzworth
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 51,797
|
Quote:
__________________
Create a memory |
|
|
|
|
|
04-02-22, 04:59 PM
|
#3015 |
|
Donald Buzzworth
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 51,797
|
I just told my son that, he didnt find it funny at all
__________________
Create a memory |
|
|
|
|
04-02-22, 05:56 PM
|
#3016 |
|
Big Girl's Blouse
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 36,244
|
I don't either, it's stupid
|
|
|
|
|
04-02-22, 06:04 PM
|
#3017 |
|
Dan Ashcroft
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 55,470
|
Yep, it’s gone down as badly as an out of context Jimmy Carr joke about Gypsies.
__________________
Abolish the Monarchy. |
|
|
|
|
04-02-22, 06:11 PM
|
#3018 |
|
Donald Buzzworth
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 51,797
|
 It’s funny because it goes against the convention. Tough crowd 
__________________
Create a memory |
|
|
|
|
04-02-22, 06:13 PM
|
#3019 | |
|
Daddy day care
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 23,786
|
Quote:
__________________
removing all the weak links makes us stronger too many gutless players, no beef or desire. pussies everywhere... sack them all, but not VVD or Fabinho |
|
|
|
|
|
04-02-22, 07:22 PM
|
#3020 |
|
Shankly
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 9,247
|
Horse is in the pub having a few, spots a donkey in the corner. So he nips over to have a natter, donkey asks "what did you do for a living?" Horse says " I ran on the flat in the summer and over the jumps in the winter". Donkey says "I worked with the kids on blackpool beach" , then he asks "did you win anything?" horse says "yeah on the flat I won the Oaks, St. Leger and the Derby and over the jumps I won the Grand National and the Gold Cup”
… They arrange to meet at the donkey's house a week later, donkey thinks, "I need to impress this guy he's done everything". So he buys a big picture of a zebra and hangs it above the fireplace. The horse arrives and says "lovely place you have here, who's that in the picture on the wall?" Donkey replies "that's me when I played for Juventus!" |
|
|
|
04-02-22, 07:37 PM
|
#3021 | |
|
Big Girl's Blouse
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 36,244
|
Quote:
I'm nicking that for a best man's speech Last edited by Norbs; 04-02-22 at 07:40 PM. |
|
|
|
|
|
04-02-22, 10:09 PM
|
#3022 | |
|
Daddy day care
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 23,786
|
Quote:
__________________
removing all the weak links makes us stronger too many gutless players, no beef or desire. pussies everywhere... sack them all, but not VVD or Fabinho |
|
|
|
|
|
06-02-22, 09:16 PM
|
#3023 |
|
Daddy day care
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 23,786
|
Jurgen Klopp, Ralf Rangnick, Brendan Rodgers and Mikel Arteta entered a pub. Jurgen bought them all a drink. Once they had finished, Rangnick got a round in. Then Arteta put his hand in his pocket. Then Brendan Rodgers got the beers in.
Once they'd all consumed 4 beers, Klopp went to the bar, bought a drink for himself only, and sat at the table. They all looked at him before Rangnick said "Excuse me Jurgen. What about us?" Klopp looked at them and said, "Sorry lads. This is the fifth round and none of you are in it."
__________________
removing all the weak links makes us stronger too many gutless players, no beef or desire. pussies everywhere... sack them all, but not VVD or Fabinho |
|
|
|
|
07-02-22, 07:21 AM
|
#3024 | |
|
Run the Jewels
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 37,366
|
Quote:
__________________
========================== QUADRUPLE TRACKER 21/22 ----------------------------------------------- League Cup: Winners (Liverpool vs Chelsea) FA Cup: Winners (Liverpool vs Chelsea) Champions League: We're in the Final! (Liverpool vs Real Madrid) HANG ON! Premier League: Down to the last game and one point behind City.. We could win it IF we win our last game left AND City draw or lose to Villa... |
|
|
|
|
|
12-02-22, 01:32 PM
|
#3025 |
|
Special Kind of Scum
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 12,492
|
__________________
"But thus I counsel you, my friends: Mistrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful. They are people of a low sort and stock; the hangmen and the bloodhound look out of their faces. Mistrust all who talk much of their justice!" |
|
|
|
|
12-02-22, 08:38 PM
|
#3026 |
|
Donald Buzzworth
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 51,797
|
Viz
__________________
Create a memory |
|
|
|
|
12-02-22, 09:39 PM
|
#3027 |
|
Micka "don't f*** with me" Wallace
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 17,714
|
I've got the Viz bulging sack book haha! Some classics in there!
__________________
Klopp on LFC vs MUFC (March 9th 2016) - "This is why I love football. This is why we watched it when we were young. I can still not have enough of it." Always, keep your face to the sun, and shadows will fall behind you. |
|
|
|
|
12-02-22, 09:41 PM
|
#3028 |
|
Micka "don't f*** with me" Wallace
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 17,714
|
Lol
__________________
Klopp on LFC vs MUFC (March 9th 2016) - "This is why I love football. This is why we watched it when we were young. I can still not have enough of it." Always, keep your face to the sun, and shadows will fall behind you. |
|
|
|
|
12-02-22, 09:49 PM
|
#3029 | |
|
Paisley
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 27,384
|
Quote:
__________________
_____________________________________ Weak willed, Wank or do they have a masterplan? Think we have the answer..Klopp
|
|
|
|
|
|
14-02-22, 02:58 PM
|
#3030 |
|
Donald Buzzworth
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 51,797
|
__________________
Create a memory |
|
|
|
|
23-02-22, 08:53 AM
|
#3031 |
|
Houllier
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 407
|
Police have confirmed that a man who died after falling from a nightclub roof was not a bouncer
__________________
All you touch and all you see Is all your life will ever be |
|
|
|
|
01-04-22, 03:33 PM
|
#3032 |
|
Special Kind of Scum
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 12,492
|
I ate a clock for dinner last night. It was very time consuming. But I still went back for seconds.
__________________
"But thus I counsel you, my friends: Mistrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful. They are people of a low sort and stock; the hangmen and the bloodhound look out of their faces. Mistrust all who talk much of their justice!" |
|
|
|
|
12-04-22, 12:39 AM
|
#3033 |
|
Daddy day care
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 23,786
|
A dwarf was drinking in a bar when a sexy blonde walked up to him and said “I’ve always wanted to have sex with a little person”
The dwarf replied “I’m sorry, but I’ve had women say that before, then I go home with them and the husband or boyfriend finds out and I get beaten up” “It’s ok” said the woman “ my husband is working away until next week “ So, against his better judgment he goes back with the woman. Well, they start having amazing sex, when suddenly the front door opens. “Shit, it’s my husband “ she said “ quick, hang out of the bedroom window, and when he goes for a shower, you can climb in and get away” So the dwarf climbs out of the window and hangs on the ledge by his fingertips. The husband comes in the bedroom and says “ it’s cold in here” and slams the window shut and the dwarf plummets to the ground. Well the woman is distraught and calls an ambulance. A couple of days later she goes to visit the dwarf in hospital “How are you” ? She asked “Well my fingers are broken, I’ve got two broken ankles, a dislocated hip and severe concussion “ he said “Oh dear” she said “Still , it could have been much worse “ “Much worse !!!!?” Said the dwarf “How do you figure that out” “Well” she said “You’re lucky I live in a bungalow"😂😂😂😂
__________________
removing all the weak links makes us stronger too many gutless players, no beef or desire. pussies everywhere... sack them all, but not VVD or Fabinho |
|
|
|
|
13-04-22, 12:32 AM
|
#3034 |
|
Daddy day care
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 23,786
|
In these difficult times a story to inspire you to reach for your dreams and never give up.👍👍
My mates missus came a close 2nd in the 1997 Miss Bolton competition... Later that year she was beset by a long period of bad luck... She suffered years of drug and alcohol abuse and a series of eating disorders... She lost a leg and needed facial reconstructive surgery after a road traffic accident... Later she suffered 80% burns in a factory fire... Several of her teeth were knocked out and an eye gouged out in a fight outside a kebab shop... The stress caused severe hair loss and facial warts but she never stopped believing And then finally, last month.... She was crowned Miss Wigan 2020 👏
__________________
removing all the weak links makes us stronger too many gutless players, no beef or desire. pussies everywhere... sack them all, but not VVD or Fabinho |
|
|
|
|
13-04-22, 08:49 AM
|
#3035 |
|
The Wisp
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 22,014
|
__________________
Hello mert. |
|
|
|
|
13-04-22, 10:58 AM
|
#3036 |
|
Daddy day care
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 23,786
|
Mates wife was cleaning their 12 year old sons bedroom and finds a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags she asks her husband
"What should I do?" Hubby says "I'm no expert but I wouldn't fucking spank him"
__________________
removing all the weak links makes us stronger too many gutless players, no beef or desire. pussies everywhere... sack them all, but not VVD or Fabinho |
|
|
|
|
14-04-22, 04:30 PM
|
#3037 |
|
Daddy day care
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 23,786
|
Absolutely devastated.
7 years of medical training and hard work resulting in a friend being struck off for a minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients. He is no longer able to continue in the profession he loves. A genuinely nice guy and a brilliant vet!
__________________
removing all the weak links makes us stronger too many gutless players, no beef or desire. pussies everywhere... sack them all, but not VVD or Fabinho |
|
|
|
|
14-04-22, 04:44 PM
|
#3038 | |
|
Big Girl's Blouse
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 36,244
|
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
|
19-04-22, 08:07 AM
|
#3039 | |
|
Houllier
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 407
|
Quote:
.. like that one
__________________
All you touch and all you see Is all your life will ever be |
|
|
|
|
 |
|
| Bookmarks |
«
Previous Thread
|
Next Thread
»
| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | |
Linear Mode
|
|
All times are GMT +1. The time now is 10:15 PM.