Got this in an email My favourite is number 11
1 Anton Ferdinand, Nigel Reo-Coker, Bobby Zamora and the rest of West
Ham's
Baby Bentley brigade will get bigger contracts at bigger clubs next
season.
2 Kieran Richardson will collect a Premiership winner's medal.
3 Michael Ballack gets paid £140,000 a week for smoking a big, fat
cigar.
4 Rio Ferdinand probably gets paid three times as much as Nemanja Vidic
to
be roughly a third as good.
5 Liverpool have lost their last two games and yet somehow this has
made
them the best team in Europe.
6 Phil Neville is still more likely to play at left-back for England
than
Gareth Barry, Matt Taylor, Leighton Baines or Nicky Shorey.
7 Frank Lampard will get voted in as World Player, European Player, PFA
Player or some other such nonsense of the Year. Michael Essien will get
nothing.
8 Micah Richards will join Chelsea this summer.
9 As one of the best players outside of the top four, Dimitar Berbatov
will
undoubtedly be linked to all four of the Premiership's elite this
summer.
10 Kevin Nolan actually gets paid by the BBC to do that 'column'.
11 Jamie Redknapp actually gets paid by Sky for his 'expert' view.
12 Bolton are probably going to play European football next year.
People in
Spain will actually think this is how we play football in England.
13 Steve Coppell has as much chance of winning Manager of the Year as
Alan
Curbishley.
14 Mark Viduka will get a big, fat contract somewhere, having tried for
approximately the last three months of his current deal.
15 Harry Redknapp will proclaim avoiding relegation has made
Portsmouth's
season a success, despite the fact that they self-combusted in January
when
in fifth.
16 We will still have to read 427 more 'Wembley delay' stories before
it's
actually ready.
17 Arsenal have won nothing but their fans still believe they play the
best
football in the Premiership.
18 Michael Owen's return to full training will be watched by 47,000
jobless
Geordies. And Jim White.
19 Anyone who ever criticises Cristiano Ronaldo is accused of
xenophobia
born of England's World Cup exit to Portugal. No, sometimes he's just a
nasty little diving git.
1 Anton Ferdinand, Nigel Reo-Coker, Bobby Zamora and the rest of West
Ham's
Baby Bentley brigade will get bigger contracts at bigger clubs next
season.
2 Kieran Richardson will collect a Premiership winner's medal.
3 Michael Ballack gets paid £140,000 a week for smoking a big, fat
cigar.
4 Rio Ferdinand probably gets paid three times as much as Nemanja Vidic
to
be roughly a third as good.
5 Liverpool have lost their last two games and yet somehow this has
made
them the best team in Europe.
6 Phil Neville is still more likely to play at left-back for England
than
Gareth Barry, Matt Taylor, Leighton Baines or Nicky Shorey.
7 Frank Lampard will get voted in as World Player, European Player, PFA
Player or some other such nonsense of the Year. Michael Essien will get
nothing.
8 Micah Richards will join Chelsea this summer.
9 As one of the best players outside of the top four, Dimitar Berbatov
will
undoubtedly be linked to all four of the Premiership's elite this
summer.
10 Kevin Nolan actually gets paid by the BBC to do that 'column'.
11 Jamie Redknapp actually gets paid by Sky for his 'expert' view.
12 Bolton are probably going to play European football next year.
People in
Spain will actually think this is how we play football in England.
13 Steve Coppell has as much chance of winning Manager of the Year as
Alan
Curbishley.
14 Mark Viduka will get a big, fat contract somewhere, having tried for
approximately the last three months of his current deal.
15 Harry Redknapp will proclaim avoiding relegation has made
Portsmouth's
season a success, despite the fact that they self-combusted in January
when
in fifth.
16 We will still have to read 427 more 'Wembley delay' stories before
it's
actually ready.
17 Arsenal have won nothing but their fans still believe they play the
best
football in the Premiership.
18 Michael Owen's return to full training will be watched by 47,000
jobless
Geordies. And Jim White.
19 Anyone who ever criticises Cristiano Ronaldo is accused of
xenophobia
born of England's World Cup exit to Portugal. No, sometimes he's just a
nasty little diving git.
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