20 things we might see b4,during and after england andorra
Got this in an email
* Steve McClaren looks like this after a 2-0 win. (see pic below)
* Frank Lampard scores via a deflection off four players, beats his
chest
and Jamie Redknapp smugly informs us that he's silenced his critics.
* McClown makes a point of giving Wayne Rooney a very public hug or a
manly
clap on the shoulder, to prove that they're as close as Ian Paisley and
Gerry Adams.
* Steven Gerrard sets up a goal from the right wing, thus proving he
should
be used out there rather than in his proper position.
* Aaron Lennon, ditto, left wing.
* England have 76% possession.
* During which time 76% of you fall asleep. Even if you're in the pub.
* Someone scores a free-kick, and we're informed no one misses David
Beckham.
* Stewart Downing is brought on for Aaron Lennon in the 65th minute.
Does
little of note.
* Rio Ferdinand jumps on the back of the a goalscorer like they've just
netted in the World Cup final against Brazil, rather than hit the
second in
a turgid match against an amateur side.
* Wayne Rooney is booked for dissent over a throw-in.
* Owen Hargreaves is named man of the match for containing the
rampaging
Andorrans.
* Star-struck Andorran players ask to swap shirts. Three move into
Frank
Lampard's.
* Half of the commentators' sentences begin "With the greatest respect
to
Andorra..."
* The rest inform us that Micah Richards is 'athletic', John Terry is
'brave' and there are so many England fans there "it's like a home
game".
* Someone from the England camp tells us the win is a "statement of
intent".
* Someone in the Russia camp dies laughing.
* Andorra have one easy chance after a ridiculous piece of England
defending. They miss it.
* Steve McClown tells us that "someone who watches a lot of
international
football" says it's the best win over Andorra in March ever. Well,
since
2002.
* Three journalists are blinded by his smile.
* Steve McClaren looks like this after a 2-0 win. (see pic below)
* Frank Lampard scores via a deflection off four players, beats his
chest
and Jamie Redknapp smugly informs us that he's silenced his critics.
* McClown makes a point of giving Wayne Rooney a very public hug or a
manly
clap on the shoulder, to prove that they're as close as Ian Paisley and
Gerry Adams.
* Steven Gerrard sets up a goal from the right wing, thus proving he
should
be used out there rather than in his proper position.
* Aaron Lennon, ditto, left wing.
* England have 76% possession.
* During which time 76% of you fall asleep. Even if you're in the pub.
* Someone scores a free-kick, and we're informed no one misses David
Beckham.
* Stewart Downing is brought on for Aaron Lennon in the 65th minute.
Does
little of note.
* Rio Ferdinand jumps on the back of the a goalscorer like they've just
netted in the World Cup final against Brazil, rather than hit the
second in
a turgid match against an amateur side.
* Wayne Rooney is booked for dissent over a throw-in.
* Owen Hargreaves is named man of the match for containing the
rampaging
Andorrans.
* Star-struck Andorran players ask to swap shirts. Three move into
Frank
Lampard's.
* Half of the commentators' sentences begin "With the greatest respect
to
Andorra..."
* The rest inform us that Micah Richards is 'athletic', John Terry is
'brave' and there are so many England fans there "it's like a home
game".
* Someone from the England camp tells us the win is a "statement of
intent".
* Someone in the Russia camp dies laughing.
* Andorra have one easy chance after a ridiculous piece of England
defending. They miss it.
* Steve McClown tells us that "someone who watches a lot of
international
football" says it's the best win over Andorra in March ever. Well,
since
2002.
* Three journalists are blinded by his smile.
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