Purely for the purpose of the play-offs:
Is it now OK to like Chelsea?
Manchester United's Premiership success has brought on an alarming desire to feel sympathy for Chelsea, as difficult as that may be.
By Barney Ronay
http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/sport/20...e_chelsea.html
First off, I'd just like to say that I don't. My credentials here are immaculate. In fact, like many others, over the last couple of seasons I've found myself plunged through the looking glass into an inverted world where the idea of Manchester United winning the league suddenly looks quite plucky and underdog and cool. Or, at least, it did for a while.
Maybe it was Mourinho's touching "chin-up" gesture at the Emirates Stadium. Perhaps it was the effect of watching Cristiano Ronaldo very deliberately slicking his hair back into place before waving the Premiership trophy around above his head. But suddenly the idea of Chelsea winning the FA Cup doesn't seem so terrible after all. The problem is: you want to like them, but how exactly do you go about doing it? You can't just turn your emotions on and off like a tap. You need a way in. Here, then, are some pointers to start you on the road to Chelsea conversion.
Find a player in blue to like
Go on. How hard can it be? Develop a crush on Ricardo Carvalho. Feel a protective fondness for Mikel John Obi and his scary inflated head. Watch the game in a replica Petr Cech quilted helmet. Cast your mind back to the old Joe Cole, before he got all effective, the one who did 12 step-overs and then got substituted. Learn to love Frank Lampard's . . . Well, OK, maybe forget about that one.
Get into the new Mourinho
Chastened, wiser and slightly sadder, the Chelsea manager cuts a far more appealing figure as a man who dared to dream the impossible and got done up like a kipper good and proper. The eyes have become limpid pools of melancholy; the coat is now accessorised with a zip-up Primark sweatshirt. Sometimes the touch of failure is all it takes to turn Darth Vader into King Lear. Although, obviously, winning the FA Cup and then spending £120m on Ronaldinho and a cryogenically re-born Ferenc Puskas would probably change all that.
Enjoy the Bridge
Often derided as looking like the kind of 1980s shopping centre where the lifts never work, the car park is a toxic dungeon and there's always a huge queue in Argos, Stamford Bridge is due a re- appraisal. Give yourself a spiky Mohawk hairstyle and muse over its modern Brutalist credentials. Take an arty photo of its monolithic northern façade. Spend half an hour walking 100 metres to the tube. It's the new home of new football.
Become more middle class
This has always been the easiest way to suddenly and without warning adopt Chelsea as your chosen club. Once you'd have been best off wearing a cravat and a wide felt hat and adopting a fruity "theatrical" persona. These days red jeans and laughing in a braying fashion into your mobile phone just as the game is about to kick off seem to be all it takes. Go on the Chels! Um, please.
Install some software
What we really need is for someone to invent a sophisticated TV set top box that automatically pixelates out every image of a yawning billionaire club owner, every close-up of a manager being body-checked by the fourth official and every shot of a sullen star player falling over dramatically. Hang on, the entire screen's gone completely blank ...
Is it now OK to like Chelsea?
Manchester United's Premiership success has brought on an alarming desire to feel sympathy for Chelsea, as difficult as that may be.
By Barney Ronay
http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/sport/20...e_chelsea.html
First off, I'd just like to say that I don't. My credentials here are immaculate. In fact, like many others, over the last couple of seasons I've found myself plunged through the looking glass into an inverted world where the idea of Manchester United winning the league suddenly looks quite plucky and underdog and cool. Or, at least, it did for a while.
Maybe it was Mourinho's touching "chin-up" gesture at the Emirates Stadium. Perhaps it was the effect of watching Cristiano Ronaldo very deliberately slicking his hair back into place before waving the Premiership trophy around above his head. But suddenly the idea of Chelsea winning the FA Cup doesn't seem so terrible after all. The problem is: you want to like them, but how exactly do you go about doing it? You can't just turn your emotions on and off like a tap. You need a way in. Here, then, are some pointers to start you on the road to Chelsea conversion.
Find a player in blue to like
Go on. How hard can it be? Develop a crush on Ricardo Carvalho. Feel a protective fondness for Mikel John Obi and his scary inflated head. Watch the game in a replica Petr Cech quilted helmet. Cast your mind back to the old Joe Cole, before he got all effective, the one who did 12 step-overs and then got substituted. Learn to love Frank Lampard's . . . Well, OK, maybe forget about that one.
Get into the new Mourinho
Chastened, wiser and slightly sadder, the Chelsea manager cuts a far more appealing figure as a man who dared to dream the impossible and got done up like a kipper good and proper. The eyes have become limpid pools of melancholy; the coat is now accessorised with a zip-up Primark sweatshirt. Sometimes the touch of failure is all it takes to turn Darth Vader into King Lear. Although, obviously, winning the FA Cup and then spending £120m on Ronaldinho and a cryogenically re-born Ferenc Puskas would probably change all that.
Enjoy the Bridge
Often derided as looking like the kind of 1980s shopping centre where the lifts never work, the car park is a toxic dungeon and there's always a huge queue in Argos, Stamford Bridge is due a re- appraisal. Give yourself a spiky Mohawk hairstyle and muse over its modern Brutalist credentials. Take an arty photo of its monolithic northern façade. Spend half an hour walking 100 metres to the tube. It's the new home of new football.
Become more middle class
This has always been the easiest way to suddenly and without warning adopt Chelsea as your chosen club. Once you'd have been best off wearing a cravat and a wide felt hat and adopting a fruity "theatrical" persona. These days red jeans and laughing in a braying fashion into your mobile phone just as the game is about to kick off seem to be all it takes. Go on the Chels! Um, please.
Install some software
What we really need is for someone to invent a sophisticated TV set top box that automatically pixelates out every image of a yawning billionaire club owner, every close-up of a manager being body-checked by the fourth official and every shot of a sullen star player falling over dramatically. Hang on, the entire screen's gone completely blank ...
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