'New man' of the season

[Shaggy]

From The Observer's end of season awards...

Deportivo San Martín's Mario Leguizamón was sacked in Peru in April after saying this on TV about female referee Silvia Reyes: 'Why did she send me off? You should ask the fat whore! In my opinion, she'd obviously missed out on getting a good bit of big cock that morning, that's all. I don't know why there are women refs. It's like women's football - it's neither feminine, nor football.'

Oops!

[Shaggy]

The rest of the awards are pretty funny too....


Observer Said & Done Season Awards '07-'08.



Mr Football 2007-08

Thaksin - the Premier League's best ever Fit And Proper Person. Bought Man City in July, gave Sven 'a job for life - he can stay until he retires', then took City's PR team to Thailand to manage his personal rebrand. The trip - aimed at spinning Thaksin a clean new image to replace the old one ('Human rights abuser of the worst kind', 'billionaire leader of a regime responsible for extrajudicial executions, disappearances and torture', etc) - earned Thaksin positive press stories across Asia and Europe. 'Thaksin's a very generous and very nice man!' said Kasper Schmeichel, one of two young City players put in front of the world's press in Thailand by City's PR manager, Paul Tyrrell. 'He's a good man and City is close to his heart. He's a really genuine guy.'


Runners-Up

Rio and JT came close - Brave JT's nightclub record as strong as ever ('he urinated in a cup, AND on the floor' - The Mirror) - but Cristiano Ronaldo was best all-rounder, blending great football with a lively low-rent prostitute habit. His best moment: September, News of the World: 'I turned Ronaldo on with my Tesco knickers - exclusive: Two of the five hookers who romped with Cristiano Ronaldo and his Man Utd pals at Ronaldo's house said the players had "no morals". "They made me feel cheap," said Tyese, 18. "I've slept with 200 clients and I've never been treated with such little respect!'"


Best Moral Lead

In a big year for suspect PR deals, Man United's trip to Saudi in January stood out: a £1m fee in return for sexing up the image of a nation accused of 'torture and violence against non-Muslims', 'links to organised crime and sexual exploitation', plus 124 beheadings carried out with swords in 2007. How to handle all that with PR sensitivity? United's answer: a trip to Prince Abdullah bin Mosaad bin Abdulaziz al-Saud's palace, to pose with knives and swords.


Biggest Heart

Sam Hammam. July 2000: says he'd die for Cardiff. 'I feel so strongly, I am in with all my heart. Cardiff have swept me off my feet and I pledge to do my best for my new family - or die trying.' March 2008: sues them for £24m.


Best Fifa.com Moment

September - after a week of headlines attacking Fifa's 'vile organisation' (News of the World), 'lack of credibility' (The Times) and 'stink of corruption' (Sunday Mirror) Fifa.com ran with this instead: 'Blatter receives Humanist award: The League of Humanists has created a special postage stamp of Joseph S Blatter. The Fifa president was awarded the Golden Charter of Peace. "I'm proud," said Mr Blatter.'


Best Stat

£50m: total amount lost by Fifa on 'financial mismanagement' in 2007 - a new Fifa best.


Media Lies: Best Outrage

Another big year for damaging media lies. Most outraged by it all: Ian Holloway, Plymouth, 20 November: 'I'm not going to Leicester. It's total poppycock, if I'm allowed to use that word. It's absolutely pathetic. The media is a very powerful thing and, unfortunately, they can make a rumour into a bigger rumour. But ask anybody who knows me how I feel about Plymouth and they will tell you the truth. And if you need me to say it again, I will. I'm in love with the place. It's absolutely magnificent.' 22 November: Joins Leicester.


Most Consistent...

18 December: Leicester boss Ian Holloway attacks reports that he's using the press to unsettle Plymouth's Barry Hayles. 'I don't like it: it's very damaging. I was proud of what I did at Plymouth, and very proud of the Plymouth fans, so I'm not going to raid their team. I'm looking at other targets.' 1 January: Signs Barry Hayles for £150k. 'I'm absolutely delighted!'


Best Charity News

Some rag, November - 'England football stars last night gave up their match fees from the disastrous Croatia game to help wounded troops - thanks to us (some rag). We urged the entire squad to give something back to the nation. An FA spokesman said: "The England squad are honoured to be associated with such a worthy cause."' · Total amount raised: £23,000. 1.5: number of days it takes JT to earn £23k.


Best Keeper

Peru keeper Juan Flores: censored in September for hospitalising a ball boy who 'repeatedly called him a gay'. The boy was reacting to press photos showing Flores in 'compromising positions' with two nude men. 'The boy was annoying him,' says a Cienciano official. 'So he nailed him.'



And Finally...

Best Gaffer:
Real Murcia coach Javier Clemente - banned journalists from the training ground in April after they recorded him telling his squad: 'You ****s have no testicles! You're pathetic, lazy - you aren't even close to being footballers. You shat yourselves at the Bernabéu. You're morons.' Clemente said journalists betrayed his attempt to involve them in the club. "I invited you in to my house for coffee and you f*cked my wife. I trusted you! You will never hear from me again."

[Harv]

The rest of the awards are pretty funny too....


Observer Said & Done Season Awards '07-'08.



Mr Football 2007-08

Thaksin - the Premier League's best ever Fit And Proper Person. Bought Man City in July, gave Sven 'a job for life - he can stay until he retires', then took City's PR team to Thailand to manage his personal rebrand. The trip - aimed at spinning Thaksin a clean new image to replace the old one ('Human rights abuser of the worst kind', 'billionaire leader of a regime responsible for extrajudicial executions, disappearances and torture', etc) - earned Thaksin positive press stories across Asia and Europe. 'Thaksin's a very generous and very nice man!' said Kasper Schmeichel, one of two young City players put in front of the world's press in Thailand by City's PR manager, Paul Tyrrell. 'He's a good man and City is close to his heart. He's a really genuine guy.'


Runners-Up

Rio and JT came close - Brave JT's nightclub record as strong as ever ('he urinated in a cup, AND on the floor' - The Mirror) - but Cristiano Ronaldo was best all-rounder, blending great football with a lively low-rent prostitute habit. His best moment: September, News of the World: 'I turned Ronaldo on with my Tesco knickers - exclusive: Two of the five hookers who romped with Cristiano Ronaldo and his Man Utd pals at Ronaldo's house said the players had "no morals". "They made me feel cheap," said Tyese, 18. "I've slept with 200 clients and I've never been treated with such little respect!'"


Best Moral Lead

In a big year for suspect PR deals, Man United's trip to Saudi in January stood out: a £1m fee in return for sexing up the image of a nation accused of 'torture and violence against non-Muslims', 'links to organised crime and sexual exploitation', plus 124 beheadings carried out with swords in 2007. How to handle all that with PR sensitivity? United's answer: a trip to Prince Abdullah bin Mosaad bin Abdulaziz al-Saud's palace, to pose with knives and swords.


Biggest Heart

Sam Hammam. July 2000: says he'd die for Cardiff. 'I feel so strongly, I am in with all my heart. Cardiff have swept me off my feet and I pledge to do my best for my new family - or die trying.' March 2008: sues them for £24m.


Best Fifa.com Moment

September - after a week of headlines attacking Fifa's 'vile organisation' (News of the World), 'lack of credibility' (The Times) and 'stink of corruption' (Sunday Mirror) Fifa.com ran with this instead: 'Blatter receives Humanist award: The League of Humanists has created a special postage stamp of Joseph S Blatter. The Fifa president was awarded the Golden Charter of Peace. "I'm proud," said Mr Blatter.'


Best Stat

£50m: total amount lost by Fifa on 'financial mismanagement' in 2007 - a new Fifa best.


Media Lies: Best Outrage

Another big year for damaging media lies. Most outraged by it all: Ian Holloway, Plymouth, 20 November: 'I'm not going to Leicester. It's total poppycock, if I'm allowed to use that word. It's absolutely pathetic. The media is a very powerful thing and, unfortunately, they can make a rumour into a bigger rumour. But ask anybody who knows me how I feel about Plymouth and they will tell you the truth. And if you need me to say it again, I will. I'm in love with the place. It's absolutely magnificent.' 22 November: Joins Leicester.


Most Consistent...

18 December: Leicester boss Ian Holloway attacks reports that he's using the press to unsettle Plymouth's Barry Hayles. 'I don't like it: it's very damaging. I was proud of what I did at Plymouth, and very proud of the Plymouth fans, so I'm not going to raid their team. I'm looking at other targets.' 1 January: Signs Barry Hayles for £150k. 'I'm absolutely delighted!'


Best Charity News

Some rag, November - 'England football stars last night gave up their match fees from the disastrous Croatia game to help wounded troops - thanks to us (some rag). We urged the entire squad to give something back to the nation. An FA spokesman said: "The England squad are honoured to be associated with such a worthy cause."' · Total amount raised: £23,000. 1.5: number of days it takes JT to earn £23k.


Best Keeper

Peru keeper Juan Flores: censored in September for hospitalising a ball boy who 'repeatedly called him a gay'. The boy was reacting to press photos showing Flores in 'compromising positions' with two nude men. 'The boy was annoying him,' says a Cienciano official. 'So he nailed him.'



And Finally...

Best Gaffer:
Real Murcia coach Javier Clemente - banned journalists from the training ground in April after they recorded him telling his squad: 'You ****s have no testicles! You're pathetic, lazy - you aren't even close to being footballers. You shat yourselves at the Bernabéu. You're morons.' Clemente said journalists betrayed his attempt to involve them in the club. "I invited you in to my house for coffee and you f*cked my wife. I trusted you! You will never hear from me again."

[slimbimjim]

Absolute ****ing gold.

[dom9]

[redheart]

laugh out loud funny

[Kenneth]

[Craig_H]

From The Observer's end of season awards...

Deportivo San Martín's Mario Leguizamón was sacked in Peru in April after saying this on TV about female referee Silvia Reyes: 'Why did she send me off? You should ask the fat whore! In my opinion, she'd obviously missed out on getting a good bit of big cock that morning, that's all. I don't know why there are women refs. It's like women's football - it's neither feminine, nor football.'

Oops!

[Jennings]

That winning quote is sheer class from start to finish. Even without the personal insults it is a powerful statement, particularly:-

It's like women's football - it's neither feminine, nor football.'


Oops!

Quality!!

[spud_gun]

good stuff.

[Parm]

quality, but how the **** do you lose 50mill on finanicial mismangement!!!