Volzy

[Joe King]

Shaggy - i this from the Volzy blog, or your own Sunday morning?

I'm guessing it was yours?

What gave it away? The usage of the word 'cunt' or Chorlton?

[BFG]

The best thing about this thread (and it's all pretty good) is Shaggy's complete absence while half the board are debating whether Volz grasp of english is good enough to write his post.

[Neil Young]

Although actually the funniest thing is that Volz's English is too good to write Shaggy's post.

[BFG]

Although actually the funniest thing is that Volz's English is too good to write Shaggy's post.

tekkin' t'piss.

[dom9]

Haha it was my Sunday morning. Didn't think it warranted its own thread so tagged it onto the discussions here in the Volzy thread. Since hanging up my boots I used to watch quite a lot but haven't been for a few years. That's my Sunday mornings sorted until the end of the season.

What gave it away? The usage of the word 'cunt' or Chorlton?

A bit of both actually.

[Shaggy]

I can't believe what I've just read!!

That game I watched last week - well, on my way back, I stopped by at another game and watched the last 20 minutes. The ref was getting unbelievable amounts of stick and I spoke to the manager of one of the teams about him. His players were calling this fella 'Tread', or 'Tready' - he'd reffed his own team the week before and his players were saying this ref was even worse. Incredulously he failed to mention what I'm about to post below, instead moaning about an extremely soft penalty he'd just given to the opposition.

I watched them yesterday also, and they lost 2-1 in a fantastic game of football - devoid of the comedy of the week before...just a cracking game played in a great spirit.

Anyway....

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/7984554.stm

A referee ordered a penalty to be retaken in a Sunday league football game when an opposition player broke wind as the ball was kicked.

The Chorlton Villa player got a yellow card for the noise which was classed as "ungentlemanly conduct".

The team, who conceded a goal on the second take, went on to win the match 6-4 against International Manchester FC at Turn Moss in Stretford, Manchester.

Villa manager Ian Treadwell said their conduct was "normally exemplary".

"One of our players 'broke wind' and only the referee heard it and he booked the player," he said.

"The other player had the penalty saved because it was a bad penalty; it was nothing to do with any noise. They were as shocked as we were as to why."

Mr Treadwell said he was waiting for the Football Association to contact them after it had received a report.

The Manchester Publicity league club faces total fines of £97 for three dismissals and two yellow card bookings from the game.

'Just hilarious'

Mr Treadwell said: "We are not a dirty team and we like to play football.

"While I won't condone the actions of the players, it is an emotive game and some of the players were sent off for entering into conversation with the referee.

"This has come at a bad time in the season as we don't have sponsor and we are looking for a new sponsor for next season."

Pauline Riley, secretary and treasurer of International Manchester FC, said both team were "very friendly".

"There's no animosity. It was just hilarious," she said.

[wiw]

Brilliant

Pretty surprised the BBC got wind of it, being Sunday league 'n all

[Shaggy]

Brilliant

Pretty surprised the BBC got wind of it, being Sunday league 'n all

I'm amazed.

The same ref also gave a free kick against Chorlton Villa when one of their lads shouted '****IN KNOB!' at his teammate for losing possession. The ref blew up for a free kick and everyone went mad... "it's his own ****in player ref!!". He'd just given the oppo an extremely dodgy pen and was getting all kinds of stick. Poor fat ref.

Also interesting to know the oppo were called International Manchester - every single player was black or Asian.

[Shaggy]

Now it's starting to make sense! Standing with their manager were two or three players in their kits. Yesterday they didn't have any subs. How did I fail to notice they had so few players?!

Also explains the swearing thing I witnessed...

http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/s/1106658_ref_calls_foul_after_player_breaks_wind

A FOOTBALL team who tried to put the wind up a penalty taker were left with more than red faces.

One of Chorlton Villa's players was given a yellow card for allegedly breaking wind as a spot kick was taken.

The penalty was saved - but ordered to be retaken when the ref decided the noise had put the kicker off.

Villa's goalkeeper was red carded for saying he believed the ref was 'the worst he had seen in years'. Minutes later another Villa player was sent off for expressing disbelief that his team-mate had been booked for flatulence.

The re-taken penalty was scored by rivals International Manchester.

Villa, who won the game 6-4, finished the match at Turn Moss, Stretford, with just eight men. They had already had another player dismissed for giving the ref abuse.

Bookings

The club now faces fines of £97 for three dismissals and two bookings.

Villa's manager Ian Treadwell said: "At half time we were 4-1 up and there was no indication of there being any trouble.

"This club had an exemplary record before this game.

"It was a mistake for any of my team to get involved. The referee has applied the letter of the law to the absolute button.

"What you would hope for is that there can be room for some common sense as well."

The first Villa player to get sent off was dismissed after an earlier penalty. Mr Treadwell said the player's only crime was to shout 'referee!' when he disputed the decision.

Noise

He said his team had been coy about the breaking wind incident but added: "My gut feeling is that someone made the noise with his mouth."

He added: "Referees have a hard job - I know because I have done it too. But whether you are at Champions League or grassroots level football is an emotional game for players, especially if something is not given your way.

"I must stress that the other team were completely blameless for what happened."

The referee, who asked not to be named, said: "The players who I sent off did obey my instructions and left the field. They were not a nasty lot. It was just a normal day at the office. No one physically assaulted me and they took the sendings off."

He said all three players had been sent off for using abusive language. "It's the swearing that is the problem. The player who made the noise was booked for ungentlemanly conduct - trying to put the other player off."

[Joe King]

Sunday league - goodness me. I've never played Sunday league but I would imagine its kitchen sink football.

[Shaggy]

Sunday league - goodness me. I've never played Sunday league but I would imagine its kitchen sink football.

I played it from the age of 8 until I was about 23/24. Yes it can be rough, violent even, comical and of a very poor standard but it's not all like that. I played in some tremendous games, against and with good players. I was a good player.

The game I watched yesterday - Chorlton Villa in fact - was a cracker. They lost 2-1 after somehow clinging on in the face of a pounding, until the 85th minute when the striker picked the ball up on the right touchline on halfway, beat three men, cut inside, and unleashed an unstoppable left foot screamer into the top corner from about 30 yards.

They'd listened to my advice.

[Neil Young]

Sunday league - goodness me. I've never played Sunday league but I would imagine its kitchen sink football.

Just watch our opponents on Saturday.

*shudder*

[Joe King]

James Richardson has just mentioned this story on Football Matters

[dom9]

[PTP]

haha ****ing love it - i have hundreds of tales from Sunday League over the years - it's proper, grass roots football! thats what i love about amatuer football - from the top level of amatuer were they are really good quality, all the way down to the worst possible sunday league, everyone is playing cause they want to play football!

My sunday league this season is currently the roughest league i have played in - with teams from birkenhead, rock ferry and bootle all turning up to kick the **** out of each other - We have a fair few teams from other the water playing in the wirral leagues, as usually they have been kicked out/banned in Liverpool so they reform with a different name and come over here.

Some of the referees are appaling but you have to give them creddit - they take some ****ing abuse too!!

We have all the great shouts you hear that 'volzy' loves - "box em in" - "these don't want it" - "he can't handle you la" "these are ****e" - but you get some ****ing random ones that just crack everyone up,

Playing against a team once and we had this centre mid who is a bit of an arsehole - bit of robbie savage, **** dirty footballer with stupid hair that every team hated so as such it meant the other team would come out all guns blazing against us.

anyway as much as a knob he could be he comes out with some corkers! - he got sent off for something that went like this after a bad tackle

him - I shagged ur bird and she was ****e
other - yeah, well she's a better shag than ur ma,
him- do one lad, ur ma's got aids on toast!!


- the other lad just looked at him stunned, noone had no idea what he was on about but everyone was laughing and the ref sent him off

Got a game tonight at 6:30pm for my Sun team, we are 3rd playing top so big game, going to be rough too so will report any funny instances tomorrow.


Also - i would say saturday leagues are much better - usually you play on better pitches, a better standard of football, less fights and bad tackles, etc etc - but some refs go toooo far - last saturday before the game both teams are warming up when the ref comes over and gets our team together.

He then explained to us the health and safety regulations and new Respect campaign blah blah blah before going over to the other team and doin the same.

He then!!! wait for this corker! - took both teams of the pitch and had us lined up alongside each otherin an imaginery tunnel - walked us out onto the pitch and to the centre circle, were we had to turn and line up like they do for champions league matches!!! at this point both teams were pissing ourselves, as we lined up, and someone was singing the champions league theme tune, and in front of us there was about 15 people on the sidelines watching - one lad was pointin at the 'crowd' then waving and saying "this is for you" etc taking the piss.......we then had to walk down the line shaking the refs hand then the oppostion

it was so far ott it was unreal - anyway the ref was saying that from next season every game this is supposed to take place!!! ****ing hell ref, ur ma's got aids on toast!!