Prem Manager in Brothel.

[Kenneth]

She's very tidy for her age. Maybe not downstairs though.

[Stanbull]

Nah!

I've heard John Terry was shagging her

[badpiggy]

i like grant and his wife drank her own piss

[Guest]

i like grant and his wife drank her own piss

[BillobShaisley]

www.thedailymash.co.uk

AVRAM GRANT CONGRATULATED ON FANTASTIC WIFE

FOOTBALL manager and brothel enthusiast Avram Grant has the world's finest wife, according to a new survey.

Tzofit Grant has won plaudits from married men after supporting her husband's visits to a Thai tug shop and offering to go with him next time and hold the baby oil.


Some wives still frown upon brothel visits

A spokesman for polling company EDBT, said: "As well as being tall, attractive and talented, she obviously goes like Speedy Gonzales bursting for a ****. Eighty-five percent of our respondents wanted to know if she had a sister."

Tzofit is now expected to be crowned Woman of the Year next week, with polling having been formally closed 11 months early.

The spokesman added: "I don't see how any other woman is going to top this, unless Scarlett Johansson goes on an eight-month lesbian odyssey with a camcorder, or Sarah Brown finally does something useful with a pillow while he's sleeping."

Wayne Hayes, a panel beater from Carlisle, said: "My missus finds out I gave the receptionist from work a lift home - a lift, mind you - and I'm humping my hand for a month.

"Tzofit finds out her feller has been getting the banquet for four in a knocking shop and she gently chides him for not inviting her along. I. Am. In. Love."

The Porstmouth manager acknowledged his good fortune, saying: "Despite looking like the arch enemy of Dangermouse, Tzofit still loves me and supports my hobbies. I'd tell you what a great cook she is as well but you'd probably hunt me down and roast me over a campfire."

He added: "One thing I will say is this - that thing your wife only does begrudgingly on your birthday? Every morning before breakfast.

"Happy Days."

[-V-]

Mirror-
Giggles all round when Harry Redknapp revealed that he had been due to meet Avram Grant for a late-night meal on Wednesday but that Grant cancelled because he had to "stop somewhere on the way".

Redknapp then spared his good pal's blushes by insisting: "I'm sure it was for a cup of tea".