Is this the most embarrassing thing you've ever seen?

[Shaggy]

Stan Collymore's Mirror column...

If Arsene Wenger wants to turn Theo Walcott into a top striker quickly then he should give me a call

I was at The Emirates on Saturday to witness Arsenal’s victory over Sunderland.

And some Gunners’ fans are starting to lose faith in Walcott’s ability after the star joined from Southampton in January 2006 for an initial £5million.

Walcott, 21, played wide on the right against the Black Cats and he has pace there is no doubt about that.

But he has been running around like a headless chicken recently for Arsenal and I can understand why some Arsenal fans are frustrated with him.

Yet I really believe in the kid’s potential and would love the chance to work with him as a former striker myself.

So Arsene, and I know you read my column, if you want me to work with Theo twice a week for free teaching him some striking tips then get in touch.

[MrShawnMichaels]

Im sure Walcott has passed his driving lessons so I dont think he would need help getting to any carparks anytime soon.

[Rich]

Stan's wasted on 5

[Shaggy]

Aside from asking for a ****ing job, how poorly written is it?!

Walcott, 21, played wide on the right against the Black Cats and he has pace there is no doubt about that.

Like it's written by a ten year old.

[wiw]

Im sure Walcott has passed his driving lessons so I dont think he would need help getting to any carparks anytime soon.

You're joeking I'm sure, but how can someone pass their driving lessons

[Reece]

You're joeking I'm sure, but how can someone pass their driving lessons

[The Erectile Banana]

Striking tips?

Hasn't Ulrika suffered enough?

[-V-]

Im not really sure if this is more embarrassing than when he suggested that relegation and promotion should be banned from the premier league and only the 'big' clubs should play in it.

[Shaggy]

You're joeking I'm sure, but how can someone pass their driving lessons

[Exiled_red]

The only thing Collymore could do that would be of any use to him would be to say don't do what I did

[Scratch]

To be fair, Collymore's mental state aside, and ignoring his life outside football, on the pitch the lad knew what to do, when he could be bothered that is. He had good football intelligence, and when he was on form was an unstoppable force. If he could show Walcott the good side of his footballing intelligence, he could, in essence, help him.

[ronanm]

To be fair, Collymore's mental state aside, and ignoring his life outside football, on the pitch the lad knew what to do, when he could be bothered that is. He had good football intelligence, and when he was on form was an unstoppable force. If he could show Walcott the good side of his footballing intelligence, he could, in essence, help him.

great player for us - 26 in 52 games

[Scratch]

great player for us - 26 in 52 games

And for a number of those games, he just strolled around with a couldn't be arsed attitude. If he had the mentality of say Kuyt, he could have been a world beater, cos when he did turn up, he was superb.

[Exiled_red]

And for a number of those games, he just strolled around with a couldn't be arsed attitude. If he had the mentality of say Kuyt, he could have been a world beater, cos when he did turn up, he was superb.

[javier_monsterano]

What about Babel?