World Cup quotes

[Liverpel]

After Spain-Switzerland, Eamon Dunphy immediately sent off his postal order for the Sergio Ramos fan club:

“This is Ramos, who’s crazy actually. He shouldn’t be allowed on the football pitch, either end of it. He gives in bad crosses. He’s a nightmare footballer. he’s loco. It’s no secret. He plays for Real Madrid. Boy, is he a liability.”

[Liverpel]

Whatever aversion to research we witness on these shores, it’s nothing to the corner Serbian commentator Vladimir Mijaljevic painted himself into when previewing his country’s clash with Germany:

“Neuer is in goal, because Enke can not play. He is hurt,” announced Vladimir to general shock. Enke, of course, tragically passed away last November.

[Liverpel]

With all the whinging by commentaors and pundits during the opening week of the World Cup, it’s refreshing to hear George Hamilton consider the full potential of every weak shot:

“If that shot had been on target and delivered with a bit more pace, it might have troubled the keeper.”

[Liverpel]

It was the day when the World Cup finally came to life. Nothing to do with Argentinean enterprise or the lack of French resistance. No, Jimmy Magee reappeared in the gantry – or at least in a commentating broom cupboard somewhere in Donnybrook. And for a magnificent 90 minutes, the Nigerian and Greek players were simply a sideshow as Jimmy crooned a familiar tune. All You Need Is Guff.

Fresh from a cover-to-cover breeze through Ulysses before breakfast, Jimmy was straight into his stride:

“It’s a day late for Bloomsday but we are in Bloemfontein.”

An early Greek cross had Jimmy rummaging through his collection of personal stationary, embossed with the Memory Man legend:

“That was inviting but nobody to reply to the invitation card.”

Impatience wasn’t long setting in.

“Neither goalkeeper has had a goose bump yet.”

As a host of bodies congregated in the Nigerian box, Jimmy was reminded of the uncomfortable crushes on the rush hour service from King’s Cross to Tennessee.

“Like a crowd in a tube station waiting on the last train to Clarksville.”

Don’t make Jimmy derisory. You wouldn’t like him when he’s derisory:

“There are a lot of people in Nigeria. Pretty difficult to keep a semblance of order about the country. And I don’t mean that in any derisory way.”

Unhappy with the theatrics that led to Sani Kaita’s sending off, Jimmy made John Cena and co sound like unsteady ward assistants:

“Torosidis went down as if he was working in a WWE.”

His famed thirst for blood certainly wasn’t sated:

“What’s even more annoying is that he is not fatally wounded.”

There were a few words for Kaita too. Incredible words:

“They have a few of those buildings around Ireland, way up on hills. There’s one outside Kells, you often wonder what it is if you are passing by. And it’s called a folly. Well that was folly there.”

Chances dried up as the vuvuzelas interfered with Jimmy’s ability to send out any more invitations:

“You wouldn’t be heard over a postage stamp with the noise.”

Bloodthirsty he might be but otherwise Jimmy is a man of modest needs:

“A touch was just enough. But enough is as good as a feast.”

It was time for the Greek gaffer to send for a noted trickster:

“Otto Reinhagle is obviously thinking here’s a man with the Jesus Christ looks who just might be able to conjure up something for the Greeks.”

Sure enough Samaras and JC worked the oracle. Poetic Jimmy wanted more:

“Another goal and the flowers will be dying in Bloem-fontein.”

Unhappy with the play of both sides, Jimmy set about forming his own republic:

“The real winner in this World Cup has been Vuvuzela. Sounds like a country. They must be leading about half a million to nil.”

It was then that a period of concerted Greek pressure against 10-man Nigeria brought about Jimmy’s Eureka moment.

“It’s only when you see these good players in action that you realise the importance of having the exact same number of players on each side.”

Unfortunately, his moment of clarity was marred by the sight of a topless Greek gentleman:

“Cool night in Bloemfontein, but there’s always a macho man. In a few years time, he’ll be going to the local hospital and wondering…….. why he has constant chest trouble.”

But abstemious Jimmy was delighted with the Greek players:

“They are using their numerical supremacy sensibly. They’re not trying any fantastic, pub-talk 40-yard balls.”

Unfortunately the Nigerian Jesus had nothing up his sleeve:

“Unless someone can produce a little sole piece of so-called magic… I think even the magician has killed the rabbit here.”

http://www.dangerhere.com/marvellous-magee-monkeys-around/

[Liverpel]

"One-nil is never a lead," insists Efan Ekoku on ESPN.

[Liverpel]

After Elano showed his kids names on his shinpads to cameras,Lawro "Good job he hasn't got three"

[Liverpel]

Robbie Savage - "You can not have Guatemalan referees! Name me a club in Guatemala?"

[Shaggy]

Robbie Savage - "You can not have Guatemalan referees! Name me a club in Guatemala?"

[Liverpel]

Ossie Ardiles - “When you’re talking about Mexico, you’re talking about Bolivia or Colombia.”

[Liverpel]

An oldie from Dunphy about Match Of The Day, but still relevant today:

“They just talk drivel. Whoever is winning is great, whoever isn’t, isn’t. It’s banal. And also semi-literate at times … they never criticise in an intelligent way. Anything that isn’t banal is said to be an outburst. They’ve created this cartoon world where everyone talks like Lineker and says nothing.”

“You have to wonder about these clowns.”

[Liverpel]

The RTE boys had a good laugh at the post-match interviews from Capello and Defoe today.

Johhny Giles on Gabby Logan - “She seemed a very attractive girl. Maybe that’s why she’s doing the interviews.”

I wasn't listening to the Defoe interview but when they cut back to the studio they were in stitches. Can anyone help out here?

[Liverpel]

"Cometh the man, cometh the hour, as they say."

Do they really, Chris Coleman?

[Liverpel]

Dunphy and Souness on thhe John Terry press conference (skip the first 2 minutes):

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_5aYwAsKNI"]YouTube- RTE World Cup 2010 - John Terry press conference and panel reaction[/ame]

[Liverpel]

"Terry Venables" after the England v USA match

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nk28cdhFcMk&feature=related"]YouTube- RTE World Cup 2010 - Apres Match 12th of June(After the England v USA match)[/ame]

[Liverpel]

Bill, Eamon and Didi debate World Cup day 3 (check out "Didi"'s accent and eyebrows)

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkRZbY9XgKo&feature=related"]YouTube- Après Match: Bill, Eamon and Didi debate World Cup day 3[/ame]