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    Kolarov

    Funny assessment from a City fan



    City fans have a banner which reads: “We dream of playing in the shirt. Today God chose you. Play like we dream”. No player had followed this literally, not until Aleksandar Kolarov.

    How would you play if you played for City? Badly, if you’re reading this. But how would play in your dreams? By maximising your chance of personal glory, and kicking the ball as hard as you can. Principally achieved by shooting; shooting on sight, shooting from distance, shooting from angles, shooting from corners, shooting when no-one else would. And when even he can’t see a shot on, crossing with too much power to result in a goal, merely for the simple joy of belting the ball.

    And that’s how Kolarov does. There’s a difference between success and glory and Kolarov knows where he stands. The strongest claim on his abilities comes not from the needs of the team but from a desire to capture for himself as many memorable and enjoyable moments as possible.

    People will call him a ‘YouTube player’, as if he only looks good on highlights reels. But he’s more than that: he plays for the sole purpose of his compilations.

    People will call him a ‘FIFA player’, as if he is only looks good on consoles. But he’s more than that: he plays as if he were in a video game.

    He is the spiritual successor to Roberto Carlos, and shares his commitment to the law of averages: shoot as often, and as hard as possible, and you’ll get lucky enough. He scored three goals for City this year, all from outside the box, and wasted enough good positions to create at least twice as many good chances. But I wouldn’t want it any other way.

    If you want productivity, go and watch Leighton Baines. But if you want playing for the fun of it, it’s all about Kolarov. Note his one trick. He skips and flicks the ball with his left foot onto his right side. It’s as redundant as Roque Santa Cruz; his right boot is useless, and he either gives the ball away afterwards, or meekly rolls the ball back onto his strong side. It’s pointless, yes, but that’s not the point.

    Take the FA Cup final: one minute into the second half, Kolarov was played in, on the left, by the byline. He should have crossed to a team-mate, but he thumped a ludicrous shot wide. The most important decision of Kolarov’s time at City, and he sneered at the percentages and did what he wanted. After the timidity of Wayne Bridge and diffidence of Javi Garrido that sort of selfishness is emboldening.

    Of course, I’d like a left-back that could defend. I’d like one who could tackle, head, pass, mark – who didn’t have to get mercifully dragged off after a 12 minute chasing from Matt Phillips. But there are more things in heaven and earth than usefulness: there’s doing what you want, because you can, and because you want to. There’s shooting on sight, on repeat, for the thrill of it. That’s what we dream about.
    Thanks very much for being ‘This Mornings’ Farmer’

    #2


    They really dont like him down there do they
    *Except Michael, who died.

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      #3
      Dunno, reads like they do in a cult hero sort of way.

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        #4
        It could've been written about Riise
        Thanks very much for being ‘This Mornings’ Farmer’

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          #5
          Not nearly as selfish as Kolarov.
          Member #1 of the Luis Suarez fan club

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            #6
            The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can't ignore it, top it; if you can't top it, laugh at it; if you can't laugh at it, it's probably deserved.

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              #7
              riise kicked ass.
              dave of mutilation

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                #8
                Riise worked his arse off for us, he gave us everything he could. Yeah he was a bit dull and not the best passer, but I respect him for his contribution, and I'll never forget the look on his face as he came to applaud us in Athens. He might have just lost but he was proud to belong
                Like blood on iron

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by Red_Polo View Post
                  Riise worked his arse off for us, he gave us everything he could. Yeah he was a bit dull and not the best passer, but I respect him for his contribution, and I'll never forget the look on his face as he came to applaud us in Athens. He might have just lost but he was proud to belong
                  I liked JAR.
                  Are we winning?

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                    #10
                    Plus Riise can kick a ball so hard he can shatter a mans leg.
                    *Except Michael, who died.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by Red_Polo View Post
                      Riise worked his arse off for us, he gave us everything he could. Yeah he was a bit dull and not the best passer, but I respect him for his contribution, and I'll never forget the look on his face as he came to applaud us in Athens. He might have just lost but he was proud to belong
                      I liked him as a bloke and liked the effort he put in. Unfortunately he was ****e. The amount of non-LFC fans who'd say stuff to me like "apart from maybe Ashley Cole he's the best left back in the country" ....talk about being blinded by the odd rocket.
                      Thanks very much for being ‘This Mornings’ Farmer’

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                        #12
                        I remember Riise's debut in the charity shield, and he was absolutely awesome.

                        Good, solid player. Such a shame he scored that own goal. Still, bloody good player and never hid. I liked him!
                        K ris90210

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                          #13
                          Originally posted by Shaggy View Post
                          I liked him as a bloke and liked the effort he put in. Unfortunately he was ****e. The amount of non-LFC fans who'd say stuff to me like "apart from maybe Ashley Cole he's the best left back in the country" ....talk about being blinded by the odd rocket.
                          ****e is a bit harsh Shaggy. He had an obvious weakness in his game with respect to not using his right foot.

                          He may not be good enough to be a starter in a PL winning team, but he is a good enough left back for a team with top 4 ambitions. He was also a competent defender.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Worst thing is we've utterly failed to fill his role in the team. Arbeloa was more often used on the right where his form gradually deteriorated before he left, Dossena was dire with the notable exception of a glorious goal, Insua was promising but lacked awareness and was often bullied, and Aurelio's been one of our many human poppadoms. I was all for replacing Riise with someone with better technique, passing and most importantly positioning, but we've failed miserably.
                            Like blood on iron

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by peekay View Post
                              ****e is a bit harsh Shaggy. He had an obvious weakness in his game with respect to not using his right foot.

                              He may not be good enough to be a starter in a PL winning team, but he is a good enough left back for a team with top 4 ambitions. He was also a competent defender.
                              I disagree mate, thought he was a poor defender in the end, frustrating, one-dimensional and limited going forward. And the one-footed thing drove me insane.

                              Agreed with Polo though...as much as I didn't rate him he was at best steady which is more than we've been able to say lately. Aurelio is IMO a far, far better full back but as we know he's never fit.
                              Thanks very much for being ‘This Mornings’ Farmer’

                              Comment

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