Being a bad-ass, of course Man City’s new signing Mario Balotelli smokes. Indoors. With fit women.
Slaven Bilic rocking a Marlboro. Not strictly a player anymore, but still cool.
The first to buck the trend, Ashley Cole having a puff and looking like a saggy-assholed rentboy.
Back to form. Dimitar Berbatov is the epitome of cool. He smokes, cigarette hanging insouciantly from the corner of his mouth.
Retro. Jack Charlton having a toke at Leeds training.
Fabian Barthez loves to reduce his lung capacity and increase his risk of cancer. He looks like he has it anyway, so who gives a ****. Not Fabian.
Man United’s Federico Macheda showing that teenagers should also smoke.
Wayne Rooney another to let the side down – he just looks like a pasty, ginger chav smoking a Lambert and Butler in a municipal swimming pool. Not cool.
Zidane, one of the finest players of any generation, showing that smoking actually makes you better at football.
Remember kids, smoking is cool. Get on it early, like Macheda, and one day you might end up like Zidane.
Others I’ve tried to find for the rogue’s gallery, having been informed they love a tab, are Johan Cruyff (lending weight to the theory smoking makes you better), Robert Prosinecki, Claus Jensen, Didi Hamann (twenty a day, allegedly), Gianluca Vialli, Giuseppe Meazza, Steed Malbranque (I can imagine him having a shady one round the back of the bike sheds, little scrutter), Paul Robinson (fat keeper not fat defender), Roberto di Matteo (who has hilariously started smoking since taking over West Brom), Henrik Larsson, and of course Tugay.
Others I’ve tried to find for the rogue’s gallery, having been informed they love a tab, are Johan Cruyff (lending weight to the theory smoking makes you better), Robert Prosinecki, Claus Jensen, Didi Hamann (twenty a day, allegedly), Gianluca Vialli, Giuseppe Meazza, Steed Malbranque (I can imagine him having a shady one round the back of the bike sheds, little scrutter), Paul Robinson (fat keeper not fat defender), Roberto di Matteo (who has hilariously started smoking since taking over West Brom), Henrik Larsson, and of course Tugay.
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