Gary Speed dead

[Lee]

I'm ****ing gutted by this.

Got a text today at about 1pm asking what I thought of the Gary Speed news. I read it about three times because I honestly thought it was some sort of joke and I was missing something. I was out so checked on the BBC website on my phone to see if it was true.

I'm shocked beyond belief. Gary Speed was one of the first footballers that I was aware of back in about 1992 / 1993. I've heard nothing but good stories about him (via online forums), and everyone I know seems to have nothing other than that upmost respect for Speed.

How on earth would a young, popular and very healthy / fit bloke die? I'm utterly shocked. Really horrible news.

[Bender]

I'm ****ing gutted by this.

Got a text today at about 1pm asking what I thought of the Gary Speed news. I read it about three times because I honestly thought it was some sort of joke and I was missing something. I was out so checked on the BBC website on my phone to see if it was true.

I'm shocked beyond belief. Gary Speed was one of the first footballers that I was aware of back in about 1992 / 1993. I've heard nothing but good stories about him (via online forums), and everyone I know seems to have nothing other than that upmost respect for Speed.

How on earth would a young, popular and very healthy / fit bloke die? I'm utterly shocked. Really horrible news.

am trying to work out why he hung himself ?

[Exiled_red]

I found out about this just before our game, I still can't believe this. I'm totally shocked by it. It's awful, thoughts with his family.

[BobTheCharmer]

like someone else has said, its like a punch in the guts. just can't see how he's on football focus, looking forward to the future and between then and this morning something has made him do this. weird. horrible stuff. i guess more news and reasons behind it will surface but right now its a time to reflect and let his family grieve.

[Fredo]

Did he hang himself. Is this confirmed?

[Lee]

am trying to work out why he hung himself ?

If you know anything about depression mate then you'll know that all rational thinking goes out of the window.

I heard this news on my phone via text in a ****ing snooker hall ffs. The Swansea vs Villa match was on TV about ten minutes after I got the text. Saw the silence and the Speed montage that Sky put up. Didn't seem real.

Utterly gutted. 42 ffs. A good guy who on the outside seemed to have everything to live for. I can't believe it. I feel so, so sorry for his wife, children and family.

[Fredo]

I am gutted as well. Went out to do some shopping, checked twitter on me phone and saw the news. I was shocked and i felt unwell. Made my weekly tesco shopping even worse that it already is. Told the wife that Speed was part of my footballing culture for the past 20 years or so. I always liked him and saw him on football focus yesterday and he looked fine. Made it even more unbearable.

[Spanishfly]

Can't you even grasp the state of mind these people are in though ?

They are not thinking logically or normally, they don't consider the thought..'oh better not do this..the kids will be down for brekkie and they'll maybe find me'.

The state of mind they are in doesn't let them consider such things at that moment in time in a logical or considered way.

It's certainly, not imo anyway, a case of someone running away and leaving the family to deal with it, not at all, the bloke still did the school run ffs, he cared for his family.

My dad suffers from severe depression, so have an idea of what it must be like. When my sister was born in 1986, my dad left the UK and went back to Spain. He couldn't face the thought of not being able to supply for both me and my sister. No one knew where he was, he then contacted his mum (also in Spain). He came back the UK and faced up to his 'demons'. Still to this day my dad has severe depression. Whether it's work related, family related (IE: my grandma has severe parkinsons, dementia and is 90, dad's sister is keeping her at her house even though she and my grandad want to go in to a care home!) he has always got through it, with help from the family, or through the tablets he has to take everyday of his life and has done since I can remember.

Lets face it, none of us know what he was feeling! However to end it like that leaving family behind is awful.

Its a tragic loss to his family and friends, and all i'm saying is that they will now not only feel for the loss of his life but also for not seeing the signs or helping there family more!

[Leyton388]

Im gutted about his death. Such a great guy and a massive loss to the world of football. I only hope his family are given time to come to terms with this loss and are not harrased by the press.

RIP Gary it was a privilege to watch you play the game we all love.

I walked into my mum's today and me dad told me and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

[GTi]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/danwalker...uge_whole.html

Gary Speed leaves a huge hole in football

Dan Walker | 18:00 UK time, Sunday, 27 November 2011

I have no idea where to start this blog, what to say in the middle and how to finish it. This will probably be a stream of consciousness.

I spent four hours with Gary Speed on Saturday. He was our guest on Football Focus and was in great form. I've met and interviewed him on many occasions. I always found him to be kind, funny, intelligent and insightful.

On Saturday he was cracking jokes with Gary McAllister, his midfield partner from the title-winning Leeds side of 1991-92.

Off-air we talked about playing golf, how good his boys were at football and his dreams of taking Wales to the World Cup in 2014.

He was always interested in what you were up to. He would say: "How are you finding Sheffield, Dan? Are you and the kids settling in OK?" That was part of his charm - he cared.

One of the production team went to the same school as Gary in North Wales and they were talking about the day the Queen turned up. A picture, taken of Gary with fellow alumni Michael Owen and Her Majesty, is still proudly shown in reception.

Gary was genuinely loved in the game. In the last few hours you will have heard more qualified accounts and memories from fellow managers, players, friends and fans talking of how much he meant to them and what he did for their club. There have been tributes and flowers left across the country and tears shed throughout the football family.

After Focus we recorded a 10-minute piece with Gary talking about Wales qualifying campaign for the next World Cup. He spoke with passion about the fixtures and desire to see success. His hope was that the upturn in form would see his team playing in front of full stadia again. He joked about Team GB and how Scotland would be an easy game, McAllister giggled.

Those words and hopes for the future seem so poignant now. There was certainly no hint of any troubles or any indication of what was going to happen a few hours later.

"I'm just popping upstairs to see Al [Shearer], Dan. I'll see you up there in a mo," he said after the show.

I joined Gary in the Match of the Day production office a few minutes later where he was chatting with Shearer, Mark Lawrenson and McAllister.

They were having a laugh and watching the Stoke v Blackburn game. Alan and Gary were organising when they were going to see each other next before Shearer left to go to watch Manchester United v Newcastle at Old Trafford. They all ribbed Alan for his comedy hat that later featured on MOTD.

I was going home to Sheffield so I said my goodbyes. Gary gave me a warm handshake and said "thanks for today Dan".

"We might even have you on again soon," I joked.

When I got the news on Sunday morning I was stunned. I still can't get my head around it.

This is not the time to go into the reasons behind it all. I know people are talking about depression and other issues but we will have to wait to know the whole - probably very sad - truth.

This is the time to say that all our thoughts and prayers are with his family. This is the time to say I found him to be a top bloke and really enjoyed his company.

He leaves a huge hole in football. He seemed to have everything in front of him - two boys he loved, physical fitness and, at just 42, a promising future as manager of Wales. But Gary Speed is gone and I miss him.

[Gibbo]

I still can't get my head round how I saw him looking 'normal' on football focus yesterday and then this happened. Such a shame.

[Shaggy]

Nothing more to add other than genuine shock. Got a text just as I left the house for the match and could hardly believe it. A rarity in that he was liked by everyone, most LFC fans like him despite playing for Everton, likewise Mancs (Leeds), Sunderland fans (Newcastle) etc.

Shocking stuff. RIP Gary.

[Leyton388]

I worked with a guy a few years ago who took his own life in the same way as Gary Speed.

We worked with him every day and he was such a great guy. We always had a laugh and a joke and would go the pub for a few drinks after work or at a weekend. He seemed a very happy guy as he had a teenage son and everything to live for. No one not even his closest friends and family had any idea what he was going through.

We come into work one morning and found out he had hung himself the night before. I was stunned and his family never found out why he did it.

[Slinky Skills]

Probally depression mate, which is an inability to extract joy out of any thing no matter how much one has none of it means a pile of beans if your head is not processing information right

Such awful news, poor Gary Speed. Couldn't believe it when I saw the news this morning.

Depression is awful, I've been suffering from it this past year where I've struggled to extract joy out of anything much like you've said.

It's hard to explain, no matter what you've got nothing ever feels like it's enough. You have times when you're happy but most of the time you're low and not even friends and loved one's help and love can help you.

People just dismiss depression as though it's nothing, I've been asked to try and cheer up but at times I've felt like crying. No matter what you do you can't get better.

I can't imagine what his poor family are going through and being Welsh I am so sad as he had a great future with Wales too.

Truly awful. RIP Gary Speed.

[Spanishfly]

I worked with a guy a few years ago who took his own life in the same way as Gary Speed.

We worked with him every day and he was such a great guy. We always had a laugh and a joke and would go the pub for a few drinks after work or at a weekend. He seemed a very happy guy as he had a teenage son and everything to live for. No one not even his closest friends and family had any idea what he was going through.

We come into work one morning and found out he had hung himself the night before. I was stunned and his family never found out why he did it.

Must be awful. Maybe it's in the back of there mind and even they don't know it's there. Then one night it just comes to the fore and that's it.