Manchester United

[McDermotX]

Yep....it's a tough life for oul Jose alright.

Sure, he never went out of his way to be the center of attention. Still, he made the right call in running to Sky Sports to keep his business to himself - that should put a lid on things.

[Shaggy]

Another defeat tonight to one of his most despised opponents would be hilarious. Though win win really, them getting rid of City isn't exactly bad for us!

Agreed, but I'll be enjoying a few beers and cheering for City. I do love watching City heap the misery on for those *******s. Another win for them at OT tonight would be hilarious.

[EwarWoo]

Near certainly I think, if the manager is having a collapse in public presumably it's also happening in private to some degree, players will not put in the effort.

All the **** that's hit the press at once over the past few days I'd say it's certain it's happening in private. Someone's telling tales out of school, that's a sure sign things are ****ed.

It's mind blowing it's happened so quick though. Maybe too many bad mangers in a row, but turning on him this quick....

I expected him to tear the league a new one this year before his usual implosion

[gratziani]

looks like he wont actually win the league before ****ing off for a change , thank the lord for that.

Can you imagine us or city winning the league he will be bitter as most Evertonians

[marcus50bucks]

A thread has been started on redcafe with the words "Mourinho resign watch"

[Vermilion]

[Patricks_Berger]

Touch wood he can get a win tonight - need to keep him in the job for as long as possible.

Let the poison do its work.

[Roboklopp]

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/mourinho-downgraded-to-adequate-one-20161026115991

[Fosterbloke]

Come on City!

[Liverpool]

Could he not just get a helicopter straight into the training ground. Would be an hours commute from London few days a week and his own place in Manchester the rest. It's bizarre

[RichC]

Poor old Jose

The secret hotel diary of Jose Mourinho, as imagined by Jonathan Liew

25 September

Another night in hotel room. Another room service. But I must keep body strong, mind strong. I order green salad, no dressing. Chicken breast, no skin. Mineral water to drink. As I eat, there is text message.

“Boss. Why do you not reply to my texts? Why do you ignore me at training? I am fit, I am sharp, I want to play. Henrikh.” I delete. Is probably one of Zlatan’s friends having a joke.

1 October

Paul Pogba come visit me in hotel. Actually, this not exactly true. Pogba try to visit. According to hotel staff who tell me later, Pogba get in lift, go up to top floor, stay in lift, go down to ground floor, go up to top floor, again and again. Never get out of lift. For 90 minutes.

12 October

Another night in hotel room. Another room service. This time I order the smoked salmon, the crab linguine, a glass red wine.

Ed Woodward come to hotel. He ask if anything I need. I tell him I want Slingbox so am able to watch Portuguese football on hotel TV.

Six hours later, he return. Why so long, I ask. He say that because Manchester United, everybody tell him inflated price. How much you pay, I ask. £2.5 million, he say. Good deal, I say. I do not tell him what I really feel.

21 October

There is phone call for me. What is name, I ask. Henrikh Mkhitaryan, say reception girl. I know nobody of this name, I say, and put down phone. Always the prank callers. Morning to evening. You take the trouble to prank call Jose Mourinho, and you cannot even think of a better fake name than that?

23 October

For many years, I am getting messages from businessman in North East, who ask if I want open social media account. Big publicity, he say. Big money. He say he manage social media account for Ancelotti, for Harry Redknapp, for Koeman. Always I say, no time. But now I have time. So I send him text message.

“Can you tweet something like

Unbelievable support yesterday and great effort by the lads! Hard result to take! But we go again!”

No reply. Maybe he change phone number.

25 October

Another night in hotel room. Another room service. This time I order the baked Camembert, the fillet steak, the Banoffee pie, the cheeseboard, a bottle Grey Goose, no ice. After so long in this hotel I know the staff like my own family, but the boy who brings my food is not familiar to me.

You are new to hotel? I ask.

He put down tray. My name is Henrikh Mkhitaryan, he say. Boss, you can ignore me no longer. I must talk to you.

Fearing for my life, I call security and have troublemaker removed from building. After, I am very angry with hotel manager.

Your recruitment policy is a disgrace, I tell him. You hire staff, but no idea what they do when they arrive here!

I think he trying not to laugh. I not know why.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/football/2016/10/26/the-secret-hotel-diary-of-jose-mourinho-as-imagined-by-jonathan/

[RedReet]

D- for Jonathan Liew and that's generous.

[redmike65]

Jonathan Liew is stealing someone else's living with his ****.

[Roboklopp]

That's 2 mins of my life I won't get back. But at least they're taking the piss out of the cunt even if it is ****e.

[Chris]

City's 11 is dismal, will be even more hilarious if Utd fail now!