Why Heskey is better than Messi

[Gibbo]

Heskey has never missed a penalty, Messi has

Heskey has 61 caps for England, Messi has 0

Heskey has scored 7 goals for England, Messi has 0

Heskey has scored 100+ goals in the Premier League, Messi has never scored in it

Heskey undoubtedly has a larger cock than Messi

Heskey is black, Messi isn't

Heskey's feet are size 15, Messi's are a tiny size 10

Emile's shots go out for throw-ins, Messi's don't

Heskey's bitch is sexier than Messi's bitch

Heskey misses a lot because he doesn't want to upset the goalkeepers feelings, Messi just scores all the time because he's a ****

Heskey has played in more World Cups than Messi

Emile has played for more clubs than Messi, meaning he is more versatile

Heskey has been bought for bigger transfers fee than Messi ever has

Heskey quite clearly has a better haircut than Messi

Messi played **** in the Champions League Semi Final against Chelsea, Heskey didn't

Heskey has never had a bad game in La Liga, Messi has

Heskey weighs much more than Messi, making him the better man

Heskey's head is infinitely bigger than Messi's

Messi is one ugly little ****, whereas Heskey even gives straight guys a boner

Heskey can play without Xavi and Iniesta

Heskey changes clubs regularly, as he wants to give everyone a chaance with his brilliance, Messi just stays at Barcelona

Heskey has better strength, heading accuracy and aggression on FIFA 12 (the only attributes that matter)

Heskey has played more times in the Euro's than Messi

Messi has never made a girl orgasm, Heskey does by simply staring into a womens eyes

Heskey's middle name is 'William Ivanhoe', which is far better and cooler than Messi's middle name 'Andrés'

Heskey has had **** managers such as Alex Mecleish and Steve Bruce, whereas Messi has had Pep Guardiola

Heskey can play at Centre Back, Messi can't

Heskey has more pubic hairs than Messi has goals

Heskey hits his shots into row Z because he's a nice guy and wants to interact with the supporters

Heskey has kids, Messi doesn't because he can't score off the pitch

Messi earns more than Heskey, meaning he is greedier and therefore a prick

[-V-]

Is that his agent working hard? Is he the same agent who works for Michael Owen?

[ChesterDave]

Heskey has 61 caps for England, Messi has 0

Heskey misses a lot because he doesn't want to upset the goalkeepers feelings, Messi just scores all the time because he's a ****

Heskey has been bought for bigger transfers fee than Messi ever has

Heskey has played more times in the Euro's than Messi

Messi has never made a girl orgasm, Heskey does by simply staring into a womens eyes

Heskey's middle name is 'William Ivanhoe', which is far better and cooler than Messi's middle name 'Andrés'

[Shaggy]

Heskey undoubtedly has a larger cock than Messi

I really shouldn't but

[Vermilion]

haha, looked for a thread to put this, Searched for Emily Emile Heskey, but didn't think i'd find a thread with such a title.

Anyway, the reason for the search was to put this in...

Emily Emile Heskey.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzIUu8ORbzY"]Emile Heskey on the Rod Hull and Emu show - YouTube[/ame]

[Alex]

**** Grotbags. That bitch used to give me nightmares.

[Shaggy]

http://www.est1892.co.uk/forums/show...19#post2454019

[Vermilion]

http://www.est1892.co.uk/forums/show...19#post2454019

[cough, probably didn't see it!]Why the hell didn't that come up when i searched!? [cough, probably didn't see it!]



Anyway, i'm off to read the first post in this thread, to see how a Title like "Why Heskey Is Better than Messi" comes about.

Edit: Ok, that was a waste of time.