Best thread on the net

[Kaip]

Some classics on here

http://www.redandwhitekop.com/forum/index.php?topic=50333.0

[Kopite_Colin]

That thread makes me laugh every time I read it. Always cheers me up. (especially the "Jerzy sign me programmme, will yer mate...and for f**ks sake, don't drop it!" for some reason..)

[Robster007]

That is a quality thread. The only problem is, i've just lost 3 hours of my life because I couldn't tear myself away from it.

Just........one.........more......

[Kaip]

That is a quality thread. The only problem is, i've just lost 3 hours of my life because I couldn't tear myself away from it.

Just........one.........more......

hahaha..................i read 5 pages a day

[Kaip]

Was in the front row-centre of the kop (right behind the middle of the goal) for Ray Clemence's first return game to anfield after he left the club - Liverpool v Spurs

As he jogs up towards the kop the (old all standing) kop starts applauding.

Just as he got to his 6 yard box the woman standing next to me screams out in a fine scouse accent "WELCOME BACK CLEMENCE YOU BIG NOSED *******!!" and I know he heard it, he was only a few yards in front of us

He just smiled and waved

[Kaip]

One that sticks in my mind was a game against Wimbledon at Anfield about 1998 just after Christmas. We were rumored to be after a keeper at the time and Neil Sullivan was being linked with us a bit in the papers. Anyways, we were attacking the Kop in the 2nd half and every time the ball was at the other end of the ground, a lad in front of me, must have been about row 5 or 6 kept shouting "Sulli, Sulli, bet you'd love to play for a club like us wouldn't yer?"

After shouting this during intervals for about 20 minutes to no response the lad gave it what seemed to be one last go. "SULLI, SULLI, BET YOU'D LOVE TO PLAY FOR US WOULDN'T YER" he screamed. Sullivan then turned round to him, gave him the thumbs up, smiled and nodded, only to be met with "WELL, WE DON'T ****ING WANT YER" Sullivan's face was a picture, he didn't smile or anything, just put his head down and jogged out to the 18 yard line. And thank **** we didn't sign the useless Scottish tosser.

[Rocket]

As he jogs up towards the kop the (old all standing) kop starts applauding.

Just as he got to his 6 yard box the woman standing next to me screams out in a fine scouse accent "WELCOME BACK CLEMENCE YOU BIG NOSED *******!!" and I know he heard it, he was only a few yards in front of us

He just smiled and waved

was that Red Hot

[Kaip]

There's **** loads of one liners have made me chuckle over the years (trying to rack my brains now), but this one always makes me laugh.

Shrewsbury away in '96 (FA Cup). After the game getting postponed about 20 times we eventually got down there and the game was an early kick off. We gets to the ground around 9am, and everyone just headed for this TINY cafe a few hundred yards away from the away end. It was the tiniest cafe I'd ever seen, more like a hut. Anyway, as soon as it was spotted, it was completely rammed within about 30 seconds. The woman and fella behind the counter just couldn't cope, all you could was "ee-ar, giz two bacon on, there girl!". Not to mention the woman behind the counter looked like Mystic Meg, so she was already getting "what are the lottery numbers for Sat'dy love?" etc etc. The service was really slow to serve the 20 plus people in there all screaming ordres for scran, and eventually the first sausage on toast was ready. The woman looked at the fella at the front who'd ordered it with a sauce bottle in each hand and said "what would you like on your sausage, love?" to which came a the reply from the back "Lipstick".

The whole place fell about laughing, even the fella (presumably her husband) burst out laughing, she even took it in good humour herself!

[Kaip]

I remember being at Ewood Park a few years ago. A bloke by me shouted "show us a trick Diouf". Quick as a flash somebody replied "Yeah, f**king dissapear!"

[tomasjj]

There's **** loads of one liners have made me chuckle over the years (trying to rack my brains now), but this one always makes me laugh.

Shrewsbury away in '96 (FA Cup). After the game getting postponed about 20 times we eventually got down there and the game was an early kick off. We gets to the ground around 9am, and everyone just headed for this TINY cafe a few hundred yards away from the away end. It was the tiniest cafe I'd ever seen, more like a hut. Anyway, as soon as it was spotted, it was completely rammed within about 30 seconds. The woman and fella behind the counter just couldn't cope, all you could was "ee-ar, giz two bacon on, there girl!". Not to mention the woman behind the counter looked like Mystic Meg, so she was already getting "what are the lottery numbers for Sat'dy love?" etc etc. The service was really slow to serve the 20 plus people in there all screaming ordres for scran, and eventually the first sausage on toast was ready. The woman looked at the fella at the front who'd ordered it with a sauce bottle in each hand and said "what would you like on your sausage, love?" to which came a the reply from the back "Lipstick".

The whole place fell about laughing, even the fella (presumably her husband) burst out laughing, she even took it in good humour herself!

That is class!

[Kaip]

Villa at Anfield, Dwight Yorke (famous for his sh1t-eating grins) taking a throw in front of us, some lad shouts "Give us a smile Yorkie" , to no response.

This request went out again, with no response. Third time lucky he turns around with a huge grin...

The response, in the same requesting tone.

"Fcuk off Yorkie!"

[Robster007]

Damn it. There goes another hour and 3/4.

Nice one Kaip.














****, where are the kids?

[plav]

To follow on from the thread....

Funniest one I can recall whilst sitting in the Annie Road end and some fog horn behind shouted in the direction of Gary Speed (whilst playing for Newcastle).

"Gary Speed, yer Ma has got two c***s and you're one of the them!"

Same foghorn in the same section towards Patrick Berger

"Hey Paddy get yer ****ing hair cut yer scruffy ****."

Quality!

[Monty]

The one I remember when I was a kid, King Kenny was the Manager. Peter Beardsley's warming up on the sideline and this fella behind me shouts in broad scouse "****inell Kenny, you only put him on the bench to scare the kids".

[MARTINOZ]

Can't remember who told me this , but it's brilliant.

A few years back , Ireland are playing Holland at Lansdowne , and Hasselbaink is coming on as a sub . Some smart Dub shouts "Watch out , here comes Eddie Murphy" .