Richard Keys

[Matt]

I have to say, now I'm in Australia, the one saving grace when I have to drag myself out of my pit at 5.30 to toddle off to a pub for an evening game, is that I can do it safe in the knowledge that Sky's expert broadcasting team is thousands of miles away. More importantly I know I'm not going to have to listen to any of them spouting ****e about us so god save Foxtel, SBS and ESPN

[bazza76]

Scientists yesterday claim they have discovered a rare breed of gorilla, extraordinarily in the British Isles. Christened Gorilla cockfacedhairyarsedsmug******keysensis, Keys for short, the breed is said to have been finally discovered due to its annoying behaviour between the months of August and May, when its displays intended to impress other hairy mammals have made it a target for hunters. Scientists have reassured people that even though Gorilla cockfacedhairyarsedsmug******keysensis appears capable of reproducing, it is infact sterile and a rare fiercely homosexual breed of mammal.

[kendoddsdadsdogsdead]

[Dhav]

Scientists yesterday claim they have discovered a rare breed of gorilla, extraordinarily in the British Isles. Christened Gorilla cockfacedhairyarsedsmug******keysensis, Keys for short, the breed is said to have been finally discovered due to its annoying behaviour between the months of August and May, when its displays intended to impress other hairy mammals have made it a target for hunters. Scientists have reassured people that even though Gorilla cockfacedhairyarsedsmug******keysensis appears capable of reproducing, it is infact sterile and a rare fiercely homosexual breed of mammal.

[CharlieMansonsSquint]

Thanks for that.

I am now permanently scared for life.

[Redlife]

I think you should email that to Sky Sports

[email protected]

I'd love to hear Georgie Thompson:

"And we have an email from a Liverpool supporter, who says, 'Suck my ****ing dick, Keys, suck my ****ing dick, Keys....' I think you get the gist. Hmmm, interesting. Tony Gale, what do you make of that?"

[Speedy]

I quite like Keys, dont really see what he's done wrong here. It was a fantastic result.