Have you ever heard this sung???

[Craig_H]

According to Nuts magazine (yeah, i know), this is a chant we apparently sing. It's featured in their 'Best Chants of the Season' thingy...

Now i'm at every home game and about half the aways, and i've honestly never heard it once.

To the tune of 'Lord of the Dance' (or to the uncultured lot, the same tune as the 'F*ck off Chelsea FC, you aint got no history' song):

Dirk Kuyt is f*cking ugly,
Hit every branch on the ugly tree,
Like Fowler, Crouch and Craig Bellamy,
Dirk Kuyt's boss but he's f*cking ugly!


Not bad actually, i didnt think...but as i said, i've not heard it before.

Has anyone here heard it or are Nuts talking...well, nuts?

[Red Chilli]

Not heard that.

[Parm]

there maybe a reason why you havent heard it before...it's a pile of poo!

[Craig_H]

BTW, you can vote for the winning chant.

The others are:

1) Villa fans to Sheff Utd keeper Paddy Kenny:

(to the tune of 'What a waste of money"

"Have you ever seen a salad"

2 is the Kuyt chant.

3) Stockport fans to Jermaine Easter

Also to the tune of 'What a waste of money'

"You're not as good as Christmas"

4) West Ham fans to Icelandic biscuit baron Eggert Magnusson...

To the tune of the old 'Club Biscuits Song' on the advert ("If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit join our club"):

"If you made a lot of money selling biscuits buy our club!"

5) The Reading fans, in honour of their Korean player Seol Ki-Hyeon (to the tune of "He's big, he's red, his feet stick out the bed..."

"He'll shoot, He'll score, He'll eat your labrador, Seol Ki-Hyeon....Seol Ki-Hyeon"

Not bad, i thought, the Reading one.

If you wanna vote for the Kuyt one, text 'NUTSB' to 82100.

Texts cost 25p plus your usual network charge

[Craig_H]

there maybe a reason why you havent heard it before...it's a pile of poo!

As in it's no good, or as in it's not really been chanted?

[Red Chilli]

Definitely the West Ham one

[RedJedi]

Waht a load of bollix, some fekin jurno has just made them up. I have never heard them sang at a game

[Shaggy]

Some cracking chants there

Never once heard the Kuyt song though.

[Harv]

your not as good as christmas is a classic.

[anfieldanfield]

'Can your chairman bend a spoon' is an all time classic.

[Bari]

According to Nuts magazine (yeah, i know), this is a chant we apparently sing. It's featured in their 'Best Chants of the Season' thingy...

Now i'm at every home game and about half the aways, and i've honestly never heard it once.

To the tune of 'Lord of the Dance' (or to the uncultured lot, the same tune as the 'F*ck off Chelsea FC, you aint got no history' song):

Dirk Kuyt is f*cking ugly,
Hit every branch on the ugly tree,
Like Fowler, Crouch and Craig Bellamy,
Dirk Kuyt's boss but he's f*cking ugly!


Not bad actually, i didnt think...but as i said, i've not heard it before.

Has anyone here heard it or are Nuts talking...well, nuts?

We should sing

Gary Neville is f*cking ugly
Hit every branch on the ugly tree,
Like Riooo, Scholes and Wayne Rooney
Ferguuson's the boss and he's f*cking ugly!

[red g]

talking of chants, loved this one.........was out with colin murray last week watching the barca game and we were all singing our liverpool songs.....anyway some knobheads started singing the sign on, u will never get a job chant. Colin stands up and starts singing i earn 1million a yr......put the dickheads in there place!!!!

[nbryan1764]

talking of chants, loved this one.........was out with colin murray last week watching the barca game and we were all singing our liverpool songs.....anyway some knobheads started singing the sign on, u will never get a job chant. Colin stands up and starts singing i earn 1million a yr......put the dickheads in there place!!!!

[nbryan1764]

talking of chants, loved this one.........was out with colin murray last week watching the barca game and we were all singing our liverpool songs.....anyway some knobheads started singing the sign on, u will never get a job chant. Colin stands up and starts singing i earn 1million a yr......put the dickheads in there place!!!!

[nbryan1764]

talking of chants, loved this one.........was out with colin murray last week watching the barca game and we were all singing our liverpool songs.....anyway some knobheads started singing the sign on, u will never get a job chant. Colin stands up and starts singing i earn 1million a yr......put the dickheads in there place!!!!

name dropper