Fiver re. reserves

[disco]

Funnier than last weeks

RESERVING THE RIGHT TO REFUSE ADMISSION

Arrange a chinwag with Rafael Benitez and, the Fiver suspects, the Liverpool manager could hold forth on climate change, the mating habits of albino capybaras and the reasons why one shoe lace always seems to wear out and snap long before the other even though both are tied and untied approximately the same number of times and with equal force. In short, the manager will waffle about anything at all if it means not dwelling on the fact that he jizzed 10m English pounds on Dirk "Will Never Work It Out" Kuyt.

The Spaniard appears to be running out of smokescreens, however, which is why he's given another airing to his view that Liverpool reserves should be allowed to play in the Championship. "It's clear that the current reserve system doesn't work, the reserve league is nothing," bellowed Benitez, whose reserves find the current system such a doddle that they're currently sprawled just two places off the bottom of their division. "You can see youngsters playing just 18 games a season. That is nothing and sometimes they face teams with four or five senior men playing without passion," he continued, raising suspicions that West Ham's first team have somehow gained admission to the reserve division's northern section.

"I would like to see reserve teams of the big clubs like ourselves playing in the Football League," added Benitez, sensibly declining to specify which irrelevant little professional club he thinks should be booted out to accommodate his apprentices. "If you don't give young players the chance to play competitive football and to learn things, things become impossible," simpered the selfless Spaniard. And at that precise moment, the Fiver thought it overheard a certain London-based Frenchman moaning that he too was having difficulty finding sufficiently challenging opponents for his reserves. It seems the young Gunners learn frustratingly little from the embarrassingly easy 6-3 drubbings they dish out to the kind of substandard rabble they usually face.

[Mumsafan]

You've become a Grauniad reader then - after belatedly discovering the fiver

[PTP]

haha very funny - don't know much bout the fiver other than what i've read on here - does it rip into other clubs or just us tho

[Maestro]

haha very funny - don't know much bout the fiver other than what i've read on here - does it rip into other clubs or just us tho

It rips into all other clubs also - the Scum are called the "MU Rowdies" and Martin Jol is always referred to as Tony Soprano.

It's hit-and-miss but can be hilariously funny.