Chelsea 'humour'...

[rushscored4]

Nice to see the Chavs have got such a great sense of humour and can find time to hang up their Aquascrotum caps for a while to write an internet blog for our 'Ickle Stevie'...

"Ickle Stevie"

WARNING: YOU MIGHT LAUGH SO HARD YOUR SHELLSUIT AND MOUSTACHE FALLS OFF

[Joe King]

I've seen a lot of backlash from the Liverpool fans
A suggestion by a fellow Liverpool fan:

'how about a dayin life of Maureen: 8.00 wake up, jump out of bed to sprint to nearest mirror, gaze longingly at it for 30minutes reminding myself how special i am, i used to be european champion you know!, 9.00 off to the training ground to make sure squad attend their drama classes (pleased to see Lamps and Didier been doing particularly well at this recently), about to double check JT has turned up and is not lingering at Heathrow airport throiwng up over tourists, then remember it is not second week of September yet so should be ok, 10.00 run through tactics for sunday - spoil, whinge ,grind is plan A. Huth up front plan B, oops we'll leave plan B for later. 11.00 ask Roman to sign cheque for £25m right back, another success for my scouting system, what a talent spotter i am. 12.00 prepare after match interview for sunday. if win act smug / be natural, if draw then re-affirm that only one team played to win, ignore actual facts. - if lose ,refer to 'if draw'. 2.00 give press conference trying to heap pressure on other managers because they have spent so much. remind them that wasn't my fault we struggled in defence last year when ONE of our centre backs was injured. 3.00 sign up for sponsored silence in aid of Berkshire ambulance service, i won't do it though, its just to teach them a lesson for being so useless, they should all be sacked etc. 5.00 get home, dinner and couple more hours in front of mirror. 10.00 fall asleep dreaming of Poll and Ferguson , always been a bit of a voyeur i have.'

[Lord Fowler]

We here at Vital Chelsea have had our run-ins with those from the Vital Liverpool site in recent weeks and we`d hope that the majority of it has been taken in the spirit intended.

Our two teams clash for the first time this season and it`s a nailed on certainty that, if UEFA have anything to do with it, our paths will once again cross in the Champions League.

However, that is all in the future and we`d like to, at this moment, concentrate on Sunday.

We here at Vital Chelsea would urge all those who are travelling to Liverpool to take time out to visit the Hillsborough Memorial and pause for a few silent thoughts.

I`m well aware of the animosity between the two sides but I can`t help thinking that at the same time that terrible event happened Chelsea were playing Leicester City in the old Division One.

Thousands of us were crammed into Filbert Street as the Stewards / Police refused to open up an empty pen next to us. At the time I thought something tragic was about to happen.

Unfortunately it was. Only a matter of miles up the M1, people were dying in awful circumstances. Parents were losing their children, wives were losing their husbands and parents were losing those they cherished the most, their children who hadn`t even reached their adolescent years.

Therefore, for a few moments on Sunday, put those animosities aside and stand by the memorial and offer a few silent thoughts, those who died deserve nothing less.

[Farside]

I stopped reading after ickle.

They all through their toys out of the pram when Stevie refused to turn his back on his and our club. In the summer of 2005 they would have been talking about him being the best player in the world because the muppets thought he was going to sign for them. I don't hate them I pity them at this stage. They are like gypoes that have won the lottery, they are still ****ing gypoes.

[Joe King]

Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon?
A: A Problem.

Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon?
A: An even bigger problem.

Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon?
A: Problem solved

[le2red]

We here at Vital Chelsea have had our run-ins with those from the Vital Liverpool site in recent weeks and we`d hope that the majority of it has been taken in the spirit intended.

Our two teams clash for the first time this season and it`s a nailed on certainty that, if UEFA have anything to do with it, our paths will once again cross in the Champions League.

However, that is all in the future and we`d like to, at this moment, concentrate on Sunday.

We here at Vital Chelsea would urge all those who are travelling to Liverpool to take time out to visit the Hillsborough Memorial and pause for a few silent thoughts.

I`m well aware of the animosity between the two sides but I can`t help thinking that at the same time that terrible event happened Chelsea were playing Leicester City in the old Division One.

Thousands of us were crammed into Filbert Street as the Stewards / Police refused to open up an empty pen next to us. At the time I thought something tragic was about to happen.

Unfortunately it was. Only a matter of miles up the M1, people were dying in awful circumstances. Parents were losing their children, wives were losing their husbands and parents were losing those they cherished the most, their children who hadn`t even reached their adolescent years.

Therefore, for a few moments on Sunday, put those animosities aside and stand by the memorial and offer a few silent thoughts, those who died deserve nothing less.

Well said.

[carrsim]

**** chelsea. i'd love to say more but i'm a bit drunk