Hardest man in football

[alexjamestodd]

No , not jermaine pennant or even maybe yossi benyoun,

Liverpools hardest and possibly globally ----- SKRTEL

anyway these comments cracked me up , enjoy!



I'd think it a pure wind up if I hadn't heard direct from the official LFC site but our Teenage Mutant Ninja Skrtel is not indestructable after all. I mean the guy is probably the only one capable of making Chuck Norris cry !?!
Surely it must have been a sex session of truly epic proportions last night that caused his groin injury. He's not expected to be out for too long, still you gotta feel sorry for the injury itself...

Posted by Paul Heron


54 comments:
Anonymous said...

Skrtel has a groin ?
05 August 2008 16:11
Anonymous said...

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice

Martin Skrtel counted to infinity - several times
05 August 2008 16:13
Robbie said...

They make a Martin Skrtel toilet paper, but it wont take **** from anybody.
05 August 2008 16:17
Robbie said...

Martin Skrtel always has sex on the first date. Always.
05 August 2008 16:18
Robbie said...

Martin Skrtel has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
05 August 2008 16:20
Anonymous said...

This must be proof that he's human after all, sad days indeed
05 August 2008 16:21
Chuck Norris said...

Skrtel never “gets laid”, rather: “laid gets Skrtel”.
05 August 2008 16:24
Inderjit said...

Martin Skrtel can piss into gale force winds.
05 August 2008 16:25
roders25 said...

It isn't really a 'groin problem' as such...he's just a bit stiff....thats why rafa sent him home to see if his misses might be able to sort it out...must be all the excitement of Barry's impending arrival
05 August 2008 16:53
AyohMatt said...

Martin Skrtel is the ONLY survivor from the Big Bang! :P
05 August 2008 16:54
Anonymous said...

Martin Skrtel was the cause of the big bang.
05 August 2008 17:01
Anonymous said...

Martin skrtel created the Wickes franchise
05 August 2008 17:02
Anonymous said...

I thought Martin Skrtel's got balls of steel.
05 August 2008 17:04
Anonymous said...

Hahahah... <--- Martin Skrtel make this sound when he was born!
05 August 2008 17:06
Jessica said...

When Martin Skrtel has sex with men, it is not because he is gay, but because he has ran out of women.
05 August 2008 17:10
Jessica said...

Martin Skrtel uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
05 August 2008 17:10
Anonymous said...

Martin Skrtel only masturbates to pictures of Martin Skrtel.
05 August 2008 17:11
Anonymous said...

Martin Skrtel was the first man to take a dump on the moon
05 August 2008 17:12
Anonymous said...

this is one of my favourite threads of all time
05 August 2008 17:13
Anonymous said...

Martin Skrtel CAN get breakfast in McDonalds after 10.30!
05 August 2008 17:13
Chuck Norris said...

Martin Skrtel once challanged Lance Armstring in a "Who has more testicles" contest. Martin Skrtel won... by five.
05 August 2008 17:15
Dummy said...

Martin Skrtel can kill two stones with one bird.

Oh **** that's what the dummy did last night :-(
05 August 2008 17:16
Ninja Boy said...

If you can see Martin Skrtel, he can see you. If you can't see Martin Skrtel you may be only seconds away from death.
05 August 2008 17:18
The Skrtel said...

Martin Skrtel does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Martin Skrtel goes killing.
05 August 2008 17:19
The Skrtel said...

Martin Skrtel has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
05 August 2008 17:20
AyohMatt said...

Martin Skrtel ordered a Big Mac at KFC and gets it!
05 August 2008 17:21
The Skrtel said...

Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Martin Skrtel. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.
05 August 2008 17:22
The Skrtel said...

If Martin Skrtel is late, time better slow the **** down.
05 August 2008 17:23
Robbie said...

This entire post is just so ****ing cool :-)
05 August 2008 17:23
Jessica said...

There is no such thing as a lesbian, there are just girls who have never met Martin Skrtel.
05 August 2008 17:28
Anonymous said...

God said "Let there be light", Martin Skrtel said "Say please".
05 August 2008 17:30
Anonymous said...

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Martin Skrtel allows to live.
05 August 2008 17:31
Anonymous said...

I heard Superman wears "Martin Skrtel" pajamas...
05 August 2008 17:46
AyohMatt said...

Martin Skrtel once bite a photographer... he is now known as Peter Parker aka Spiderman
05 August 2008 17:53
Anonymous said...

Martin Skrtel lost his virginity before his dad.
05 August 2008 17:54
Anonymous said...

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Skrtel says its beef, then it's *******-well beef.
05 August 2008 17:57
AyohMatt said...

A lighthouse was used in Martin Skrtel's candle light dinner!
05 August 2008 18:02
AyohMatt said...

Before Adidas or Nike releases a pair of boot, they go to Martin Skrtel and they ask him to test them, the best boot get a Adidas logo and the less good get a Nike logo...
05 August 2008 18:08
Anonymous said...

Martin Skrtel has had sex with everyones mum.
05 August 2008 18:10
Anonymous said...

Once Martin Skrtel tested a pair of boot, he said he can't even put Nike on those boot, that's how Umbro was born!
05 August 2008 18:11
AyohMatt said...

Martin Skrtel never think twice... he doesn't even need to think once!
05 August 2008 18:14
Anonymous said...

Martin Skrtel was the first entry in the doomsday book
05 August 2008 18:46
Anonymous said...

Martin Skrtel does not catch diseases, he spreads em
05 August 2008 18:46
Tony Reid said...

Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Martin Skrtel to die before they attack.
05 August 2008 19:22
Roberto said...

Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Chuck Norris.
05 August 2008 19:26
Roberto said...

**** I screwed up the last one, should read :-

Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Martin Skrtel.
05 August 2008 19:27
Roberto said...

The following is a short list of things Martin Skrtel cannot do :-
05 August 2008 19:28
Anonymous said...

The Mohs Scale has had to be rescaled to accomodate the hardness of Skrtel..........

.......Diamond is now at number two, with Skrtel taking top place.
05 August 2008 20:19
Anonymous said...

Martin Skrtel can believe its not better
05 August 2008 20:27
Anonymous said...

Martin Skrtel...Once won a Connect 4 game in 3 moves.
05 August 2008 20:34
Anonymous said...

Skrtel can speak Braille

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Martin Skrtel
05 August 2008 20:42
Anonymous said...

Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Martin Skrtel
05 August 2008 22:13
Anonymous said...

Skrtel once arm wrestled superman....the loser had to wear his Y fronts over his pants
05 August 2008 22:20
Anonymous said...

Martin Skertel doesn't wears belt, he uses his penis to wrap around his waist :P
05 August 2008 23:24

Post a Comment

[the rev leeroy brown]

Martin Skrtel always has sex on the first date. Always.
05 August 2008 16:18
Robbie said...

this one sounds a bit "rapey" to me

they've just stole these of the Chuck Norris list

[wishiwasascouser]

Does anyone else find these kind of things really boring...or is it just me?!

[Aza]

Does anyone else find these kind of things really boring...or is it just me?!

It's just you... you are really boring

[anfieldanfield]

Martin Skrtle is allowed to talk about Fight Club.

[tommyg]

Martin Skrtle is allowed to talk about Fight Club.

[Ferrrrnando]

Does anyone else find these kind of things really boring...or is it just me?!

It's a complete rip off of Vidic as well. Why are we doing this ffs?

[Shaggy]

It's a complete rip off of Vidic as well. Why are we doing this ffs?

Speedy give it a ****ing rest. Manc.

[Harv]

Martin Skrtel doesnt t-bag the ladies...he potato-sacks them

[bobbyfallon]

****in class

[Dessy]

Hardest man in football.....

is sponsored by Viagra.

[meffin]

Martin Skrtel doesnt t-bag the ladies...he potato-sacks them

[Leyton388]

Liverpool didn't scout Skrtel, Skrtel scouted Liverpool!!!!



Before he gets kitted up for the game

[Kenneth]

this one sounds a bit "rapey" to me

they've just stole these of the Chuck Norris list

You think?

Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Martin Skrtel. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.

[Vermilion]

Martin Skrtel uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

highly amusing.