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Some of the finest double entendres from British TV and Radio

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    Some of the finest double entendres from British TV and Radio

    Oo-er Missus…



    Childish and reprehensible… (you know who you are)



    > Michael Burke on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male

    > astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage

    > remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and

    >he's only come in his shorts."

    >

    > Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny

    > Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick

    > likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."

    >

    > Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen

    > Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

    >

    > Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World

    > Superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I

    > bet he wished he had a hard on now."

    >

    > Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner

    > Judith Keppel on This Morning: "She was practising fastest finger

    >first by herself in bed last night."

    >

    > 'Winning Post's' Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's

    > formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes

    > what he sees."

    >

    > Ross King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond: "Well

    > Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."

    >

    > Cricketer Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire

    > match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft

    > hands he just tossed it off."

    >

    > Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North

    > said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold

    >night like this."

    >

    > James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix,

    > asked: "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by

    >Barrichello?"

    >

    > Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better

    > today after a 69."

    >

    > The new stand at Doncaster race course took Brough Scott's breath

    > away..."My word," he said. "Look at that magnificent erection."

    >

    > Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys

    > prepare for a big race when he said: "They usually have four or five

    >dreams a night about coming from different positions."

    >

    > Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team

    > Live said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

    >

    > A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have

    > snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob,

    > where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE

    > have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were

    > laughing so hard!

    >

    > US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is

    > playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife

    > takes out his balls and kisses them ... Oh my god!!!!! What have I

    >just said?!!!!"

    >

    > Metro Radio - "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got

    > eleven Dicks on the field."

    >

    > Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 -

    > "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing

    >the Cox of the Oxford crew."

    >

    > Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely

    > horse. I once rode her mother."

    >

    > New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl

    > Gibson comes inside of him."

    >

    > Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from

    > Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"
    A lot of people run a race to see who is fastest. I run to see who has the most guts, who can punish himself into exhausting pace, and then at the end, punish himself even more.

    #2


    Re. the Boat Race one: there's another one (basically the same joke) where "the victorious Cambridge crew are dipping their cox in the water."
    .
    Suppose you have a physicist and a sociologist standing at the side of a field, observing a set of events unfolding on the field. The physicist does [describes] it using the terminology of mass and velocity and frequency of radiation and the rest. And the sociologist does it by describing it as a rugby match.



    May the Lord bless this post.

    Comment


      #3
      I love the weathergirl & snow one.. always makes me laugh that one.

      Comment


        #4
        If you want a really good example of a double entendre, I'll give you one.

        Comment


          #5
          I've had your double entendres up to here.
          .
          Suppose you have a physicist and a sociologist standing at the side of a field, observing a set of events unfolding on the field. The physicist does [describes] it using the terminology of mass and velocity and frequency of radiation and the rest. And the sociologist does it by describing it as a rugby match.



          May the Lord bless this post.

          Comment


            #6
            Fine. There's no need to ram it down our throats....
            Screaming from beneath the waves...

            Comment


              #7
              I know it's hard sometimes but when you get down to it you've got to take it.
              .
              Suppose you have a physicist and a sociologist standing at the side of a field, observing a set of events unfolding on the field. The physicist does [describes] it using the terminology of mass and velocity and frequency of radiation and the rest. And the sociologist does it by describing it as a rugby match.



              May the Lord bless this post.

              Comment


                #8
                I used to be an actor and whenever I saw innuendo or a double entendre in a script Id just whip it out.
                Bill Oddie, Bill Oddie, put your hands all over my body.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by The Glove View Post
                  I used to be an actor and whenever I saw innuendo or a double entendre in a script Id just whip it out.
                  I prefer to slip one in when no-one's expecting it.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I've been on the receiving end of a few while driving to work: this morning I had to pull out quickly because a policeman was coming in his panda.
                    Liverpool FC über alles.

                    Comment

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