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    When God Created Earth....

    Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for seven
    days.

    Eventually, Michael the Archangel found Him. He enquired of God:
    "Where have you been?".

    God breathed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards
    through the clouds: "Look son", he said "Look what I'm after making"

    Archangel Michael looked puzzled and asked: "What is it?"

    God replied: "It's another planet, but I'm after putting Life on it.
    I've called it Earth and there will be a balance between everything on
    it.

    For example, there's a North America and a South America. North
    America will be rich and South America will be poor.

    Now look over here - I've put a continent of white people in the north
    and a continent of black people in the south."

    Then the Archangel asked: "Whats that green dot over there?"

    "Ahhh, thats the Emerald Isle", God answered. "Thats a very special
    place.

    "That's going to be the most glorious spot on Earth - beautiful
    mountains, lakes, rivers, and an exquisite coastline. The people will
    be great craic and will travel all over the world. They'll be
    playwrights and poets, singers and songwriters. And I'm going to give
    them this black liquid, which they'll go mad on, and people will come
    from the far corners of Earth to drink it."

    Michael the Archangel gasped in wonder and admiration, then stopped,
    wondering, and said: "Hold on just a minute. What about 'Balance'? You
    said there was going to be 'Balance'..."

    God nodded wisely, and replied: " Wait till you see the Tossers I'm
    putting next door!!"

    #2
    I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by Ritchi3 View Post
      Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for seven
      days.

      Eventually, Michael the Archangel found Him. He enquired of God:
      "Where have you been?".

      God breathed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards
      through the clouds: "Look son", he said "Look what I'm after making"

      Archangel Michael looked puzzled and asked: "What is it?"

      God replied: "It's another planet, but I'm after putting Life on it.
      I've called it Earth and there will be a balance between everything on
      it.

      For example, there's a North America and a South America. North
      America will be rich and South America will be poor.

      Now look over here - I've put a continent of white people in the north
      and a continent of black people in the south."

      Then the Archangel asked: "Whats that green dot over there?"

      "Ahhh, thats the Emerald Isle", God answered. "Thats a very special
      place.

      "That's going to be the most glorious spot on Earth - beautiful
      mountains, lakes, rivers, and an exquisite coastline. The people will
      be great craic and will travel all over the world. They'll be
      playwrights and poets, singers and songwriters. And I'm going to give
      them this black liquid, which they'll go mad on, and people will come
      from the far corners of Earth to drink it."

      Michael the Archangel gasped in wonder and admiration, then stopped,
      wondering, and said: "Hold on just a minute. What about 'Balance'? You
      said there was going to be 'Balance'..."

      God nodded wisely, and replied: " Wait till you see the Tossers I'm
      putting next door!!"
      That was pure poetry! :bird:
      Nope, don't need anger management, you just need to stop pissing me off!

      Comment


        #4
        is that supposed to be a joke? seriously

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by mikeg View Post
          is that supposed to be a joke? seriously
          No, read the bible, it's all in there
          Well, here we are in a room with two manky hookers and a racist dwarf. I think I'm heading home.

          Comment


            #6


            They say fact is funnier than fiction .

            They're right .
            "Every time i sit around i find i'm shot."


            La-di-da-di free John Gotti

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by MARTINOZ View Post


              They say fact is funnier than fiction .

              They're right .
              Love it

              ****in love it
              I love Sarah

              Comment


                #8
                lame. irish people like being irish too much. i actually think ireland is ****
                !

                Comment


                  #9
                  based on your response to the "best irish joke in a long time" i think you have a bit of a problem
                  Felching ≠ Gerbilling

                  Comment


                    #10
                    yea sorry. your probably right. i just dont get what they're so proud of. can't they give it a rest. same goes for scotts. my two best mates are scottish and irish and go on all day about how **** england is and how good ireland and scotland are. well if its that good, **** off and go live there and stop complaining. they spend most of their time complaining about england. if they put that much effort into something constructive, they would have found a cure for aids or something..

                    ok sorry.. rant over, enough about the irish. .. .. now the portuguese, now there's a bunch of.....
                    !

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by sambirken View Post
                      yea sorry. your probably right. i just dont get what they're so proud of. can't they give it a rest. same goes for scotts. my two best mates are scottish and irish and go on all day about how **** england is and how good ireland and scotland are. well if its that good, **** off and go live there and stop complaining. they spend most of their time complaining about england. if they put that much effort into something constructive, they would have found a cure for aids or something..

                      ok sorry.. rant over, enough about the irish. .. .. now the portuguese, now there's a bunch of.....
                      generalised anger - i empathise
                      Felching ≠ Gerbilling

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by sambirken View Post
                        my two best mates are scottish and irish and go on all day about how **** england is and how good ireland and scotland are. well if its that good, **** off and go live there and stop complaining.
                        I can sense you have a warm loving friendship. You aren't all called Paddy by any chance?
                        If we are all only happy when we are really winning in the end, when your race finishes, what life would that be?

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by samb1 irken View Post
                          yea sorry. your probably right. i just dont get what they're so proud of. can't they give it a rest. same goes for scotts. my two best mates are scottish and irish and go on all day about how **** england is and how good ireland and scotland are. well if its that good, **** off and go live there and stop complaining. they spend most of their time complaining about england. if they put that much effort into something constructive, they would have found a cure for aids or something..

                          ok sorry.. rant over, enough about the irish. .. .. now the portuguese, now there's a bunch of.....
                          F**k off tool ! Racist beatch !
                          "Every time i sit around i find i'm shot."


                          La-di-da-di free John Gotti

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by MARTINOZ View Post
                            F**k off tool ! Racist beatch !
                            yea sorry. does make me sound like a racialist. but i have to say the racism i experienced/witnessed in ireland was worse than anywhere else.

                            no actually pretty similar to glasgow. lots of racists in dublin and glasgow

                            and im not a tool

                            anyway.. enough about the racism. irish people are all gay and thats that. end of
                            Last edited by sambirken; 21-07-07, 06:39 PM.
                            !

                            Comment


                              #15
                              post deleted
                              Liverpool FC über alles.

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